Who else is extremely reluctant to show their writing?

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Basenjichaos

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Is anyone else extremely shy about showing their work to family members or others? If so, how did you get past it? I think a bottle of wine may be consumed prior to my admission: "Honey, there's something I need to tell you. I'm a writer. I know I didn't tell you this ten years ago when we married, but it didn't seem important at the time, because I wasn't writing much back then. But if you look at my browser history, please know the google searches I've been doing on stabbings and such are in no way reflective of my feelings for you. I'm plotting, all right, but not against you."

Jokes aside, can anyone related?
 

Osulagh

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I don't show my writing to family and non-writer friends because I either never get good feedback or it'll just waste their time. Just no. They know that I am, but that's as far as everything goes.

As for showing to writers and people in the business, I have to make sure I know either the people in the critique group or the community online (and that the community is somewhat protected like AW's Share Your Work section).
 

mccardey

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Totally with you. I don't show my writing until it's finished, and then I only show it to the next person who needs to see it. I lurve the editorial process - but I can't imagine showing a work in progress around to family and friends because that would seem - well - awkward. What could they say, except "Oh. Wonderful - really." ?

(I mean, they could say other things, but there's every chance I'd burst into hot, salty tears and it wouldn't end well).
 

Dedsquirrl

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I absolutely relate.

My wife thinks all my notebooks are Fantasy Football contingencies.

My mother knows it is my dream to write something people would enjoy reading, but I don't trust her bias. She would read my grocery list and shout, "Genius!"

My friends all suspect, but I deflect them with bald-faced lies. They inquire from time to time if I ever wrote down anything about my "Space dogs" idea. Or that one where yakkity was looking for smakkity.
"Just a whole notebook....... I MEAN NO!"
 

Basenjichaos

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I absolutely relate.

My wife thinks all my notebooks are Fantasy Football contingencies.

My mother knows it is my dream to write something people would enjoy reading, but I don't trust her bias. She would read my grocery list and shout, "Genius!"

My friends all suspect, but I deflect them with bald-faced lies. They inquire from time to time if I ever wrote down anything about my "Space dogs" idea. Or that one where yakkity was looking for smakkity.
"Just a whole notebook....... I MEAN NO!"

I am cracking up! Good thing the husband is in his pottery studio or I'll have to explain, and it's too early in Texas to crack open a wine bottle. I'd be stinkin' drunk just in time for church this evening. I think I shall learn from you and fall back feign a sudden interest in brackets--seed--score--March Madness...thingies. You know, the sport with the orange, round ball.
 

Basenjichaos

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Totally with you. I don't show my writing until it's finished, and then I only show it to the next person who needs to see it. I lurve the editorial process - but I can't imagine showing a work in progress around to family and friends because that would seem - well - awkward. What could they say, except "Oh. Wonderful - really." ?

(I mean, they could say other things, but there's every chance I'd burst into hot, salty tears and it wouldn't end well).

I get it. I'm afraid he'll have me committed. Unrestrained tears, or forced meds and restraints in a lunatic asylum, those are my choices. I think I'm going to see about the local writing group, and ease my hubby into this slowly.
 

Basenjichaos

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I don't show my writing to family and non-writer friends because I either never get good feedback or it'll just waste their time. Just no. They know that I am, but that's as far as everything goes.

As for showing to writers and people in the business, I have to make sure I know either the people in the critique group or the community online (and that the community is somewhat protected like AW's Share Your Work section).

So the SYW forum has been helpful for you? I have a bit to go to work my courage up for that. I'm so glad it's not just me.
 

LJD

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My partner and family are supportive of my writing, but they have never read it. If I wrote a different genre, maybe they would. But as it is, they are not really interested and say things like, "There are no words in the English language to describing how horrifying it would be to read sex scenes written by your granddaughter."

I do experience fairly severe anxiety over showing my writing to beta readers, with the result that often I am the only one who has read it before submitting to a publisher.
 

Brightdreamer

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My mother knows it is my dream to write something people would enjoy reading, but I don't trust her bias. She would read my grocery list and shout, "Genius!"

Helen Lester started with grocery lists... and she got published. (Amazon link - fun little book...)

IMHO, there's nothing wrong with being protective of one's writing, especially in the early stages. Stories hatch out of your mind like baby birds: naked, helpless, and all wrinkly and ugly and covered in gunk. Pick it up and show it to people, even family, too soon, and it won't last. It takes some time, care and feeding and a few feathers sprouting in to cover the weak bits, before it's ready to be seen... and it takes a while longer before its wings are strong enough to fly.

There's also a stage in your growth as a writer where sharing can do more harm than good. Share with the wrong people at the wrong time, and it's a dream-killer. Either your writing isn't ready, or you yourself aren't ready; the bad experience of premature sharing can linger, holding you and your stories back. Never push yourself to share your writing with the world if you're not ready - not even for a friend or a family member. You'll get there when you get there.

Forums like this are a good place to start. Everyone here's writing - we all know what it's like, the ups and downs and triumphs and setbacks.

Welcome to AW!
 

Blinkk

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Welcome to AW.

I took a leap of faith once and gave my sister one of my short stories. I never heard back from her. I still think about asking her what happened, but I'm a bit nervous of the answer I'll hear. I gave that same story to my mom who bothered me for the next week, trying to convince me to change the ending. It was too dark for her and she wanted a Happily Ever After ending. For a few months I doubted my ability to write an ending but then I realized the ending was fine. My mom just like HEA endings on everything.

So I've stopped showing work to friends and family members unless they're genuinely interested.

Now the writers forums is a different story. People here are pretty good at helping each other with honest feedback. I appreciate that about these forums. (you guys rock).

Again, welcome!
 

Chase

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Yeah, :welcome:, since this is the intro place, but :Trophy: for a creative get-to-know-you question.

No, I don't inflict my stories on my sweetie or our friends. I do trade stories online with two dynamite critique partners.

Have fun here with folks with the same madness. :D
 

morngnstar

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Sure, it's hard, and it doesn't get a lot easier after you've done it a couple times. I'm afraid of being judged for what I write. I can't imagine not telling my wife, though. At least with her, the worst I expected was, "It's crap, but I love you anyway," and that wouldn't be so bad. Haha, not! I was not okay with that. I still won't let her live that down, but it's important that I be able to be open with her about what's going in my writing career. Otherwise how do I explain it to her if I'm feeling stressed, discouraged, or triumphant? If you don't feed up to your husband, he's gonna think you're having an affair.

I've even told my mom, although I haven't told her anything about what I write.
 

morngnstar

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But if you look at my browser history, please know the google searches I've been doing on stabbings and such are in no way reflective of my feelings for you. I'm plotting, all right, but not against you.

This was pretty funny, so you've shared at least one piece of writing that this reader enjoyed.
 

regdog

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Filigree

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I never show my writing to most of my family or my significant other. I have one kinsman who is also a writer, and we occasionally beta read for each other. My main beta readers are long-time friends and/or fans who won't pull punches on critiques. Otherwise, the first people to see my work are my agent and my editors.

It's not that I don't trust my family's judgement, I just don't want to put them on the spot.
 

Putputt

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Mr. Putt is one of my beta readers. He's the only non-writer beta I have, and he's pretty ruthless. We've gotten into arguments about it before. :D How did I ease him into it...well, when we started dating, I was doing my Masters in Creative Writing, so he'd always known I wrote. One day, he asked if he could read my final project, so with a sweaty buttcrack and shaky limbs, I showed him one chapter. He devoured that and asked to see the next one, and the one after that. Later, he admitted that it took him a long time to ask me to show my work because he was worried what if he didn't like it. He's been my biggest cheerleader ever since. There were times when I've wanted to stop writing altogether and it was because of his support that I kept going.

If you want to ease him into it, maybe ask if he'd like to read a page or two of your writing? See how he reacts and take it from there. If he doesn't like it, pop open a bottle of wine, drink it, and then bop his head with the empty bottle. :D Or, you know, something more restrained or whatever.
 

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That's how mine is too, PutPutt. I feel very lucky for it, even with a couple of drawbacks. For one thing, we go over my work together so much that sometimes I worry that we've developed somewhat of a groupthink about it. So sometimes I still like to get other input. Also, sometimes I incorporate something he said or did into a story and have to remember to 'splain how I twisted it for story purposes, so I don't hurt his feelings. :p

Otherwise, I get input from other writers. Nobody else in real life knows my pen name. I don't want to make them feel like I'm expecting compliments, and there are a couple of them who I just don't want into my business!
 

kwanzaabot

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I show my sister my work occasionally, and she's overwhelmingly supportive, but I've never shown my mother, since she doesn't seem to actually give a shit when I talk about it.

The truth is, I inherited my generally pretty nonchalant attitude from her, and she's generally supportive when I've shown her creative-type stuff I've done in the past, but until she sees that finished product, it's next to impossible to gauge her enthusiasm, and that scares me right off.
 

Basenjichaos

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Sure, it's hard, and it doesn't get a lot easier after you've done it a couple times. I'm afraid of being judged for what I write. I can't imagine not telling my wife, though. At least with her, the worst I expected was, "It's crap, but I love you anyway," and that wouldn't be so bad. Haha, not! I was not okay with that. I still won't let her live that down, but it's important that I be able to be open with her about what's going in my writing career. Otherwise how do I explain it to her if I'm feeling stressed, discouraged, or triumphant? If you don't feed up to your husband, he's gonna think you're having an affair.

I've even told my mom, although I haven't told her anything about what I write.

I know hubs would be wonderful about it. It's my own insecurity. He did see me perusing some fiction writing books earlier today, and asked me if I'd decided to write a novel. I told him I used to write a lot, and was thinking about getting back into it. Hopefully, that will lessen the shock when he sees something I've written and recognizes one of our conversations.
 

Jamesaritchie

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I can't think of any good reason to show unpublished writing to anyone except agents and editors. I can think of many reason not to show them.
 

buz

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Is anyone else extremely shy about showing their work to family members or others? If so, how did you get past it? I think a bottle of wine may be consumed prior to my admission: "Honey, there's something I need to tell you. I'm a writer. I know I didn't tell you this ten years ago when we married, but it didn't seem important at the time, because I wasn't writing much back then. But if you look at my browser history, please know the google searches I've been doing on stabbings and such are in no way reflective of my feelings for you. I'm plotting, all right, but not against you."

Jokes aside, can anyone related?

I have not told anyone in meatspace that I write seriously. The closest I've come is when someone went "you should be a writer" and I said "heh" and they said "no seriously, you should write a book" and I said "meh" and they said "SERIOUSLY" and I said "I'M THINKING ABOUT IT"

So, yuss, reluctant. I don't want people I know to know I write because they will ask to read it, and I don't want them to read it. Because....exposed, or something. I don't know why. They will think I'm WEIRD!! EGADS.

I haven't, um, got over that. I don't have to, as long as I don't get published :p If one of my books ever does get picked up...er, I suppose I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

On the other hand, I have no problem shoving whatever dumb thing I've pooped out in front of the faces of my internet-writing-group friends and going CAN YOU READ THIS IS IT TERRIBLE HELP ME WHAT DO I DO WITH IT BUH

But then, I met them all here, so they sort of know already how weird I am...

(I'm sorry there have been so many caps in this post.)
 

auzerais

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The closer we are, the less likely I will show you my work unless I know you have mad editing/critiquing skillz. Of course, I expect that someday I will publish a book and my mommy will read it and think it's super wonderful -- but she thinks everything I've ever done is super wonderful (except my first marriage, but I outgrew that.) And while that sort of validation is very nice and ego-building, that's all it is. And I think ego is detrimental to good writing.

I've used SYW and the "Post Your First Three Sentences" thread, and loved the results because I got good, useable feedback which offers me perspective on how I'm doing and where I need to go. But I wouldn't even post there until I can go no further on my own.

It's not precisely that I am reluctant to share my work because, believe me, I want an audience. It's that I am reluctant to share until I have a good reason for doing so. Either I need help making sure the writing works, or I know it works and I'm ready to sell, or I'm applying to a program that requires a writing sample, etc.

That said, my wife has expressed interest in my work and has read some of it, but certainly not all. I have her read the really polished stuff. It's an intimate act in a sense -- she wants to understand my work, because it's a huge part of my life. It makes sense to show her in that vein. But I don't look to her for advice or input on my work, because she is not a writer.
 

Basenjichaos

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Sure, it's hard, and it doesn't get a lot easier after you've done it a couple times. I'm afraid of being judged for what I write. I can't imagine not telling my wife, though. At least with her, the worst I expected was, "It's crap, but I love you anyway," and that wouldn't be so bad. Haha, not! I was not okay with that. I still won't let her live that down, but it's important that I be able to be open with her about what's going in my writing career. Otherwise how do I explain it to her if I'm feeling stressed, discouraged, or triumphant? If you don't feed up to your husband, he's gonna think you're having an affair.

I've even told my mom, although I haven't told her anything about what I write.

I know hubs would be wonderful about it. It's my own insecurity. He did see me perusing some fiction writing books earlier today, and asked me if I'd decided to write a novel. I told him I used to write a lot, and was thinking about getting back into it. Hopefully, that will lessen the shock when he sees something I've written and recognizes one of our conversations! He's too funny not to quote occasionally.
 

laazy

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I can talk to my family about ideas and such... but never actually show them anything I write because I can tell how cheesy and awful my writing is myself, to the point where it feels embarrasing.
 
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