Jose Canseco Shoots Off His Finger

There are so many jokes built into that............

Dateline Las Vegas: Former baseball player Jose Canseco, who had an up and down relationship over the years with fellow players was attacked by an unloaded firearm today, causing significant problems with him able to perform the digital salute with his right hand.

Las Vegas police took the firearm in for questioning, but as of press time, had refused to make a statement.

Several high profile attorneys have volunteered their services in case of any charges in the incident. Canseco is best known for his tell-all book about steroid use in Major League baseball.

http://www.biography.com/people/jose-canseco-17180940

I suppose that someone could volunteer to help him by giving him the finger, or perhaps someone else has accused him of shooting something else off besides his mouth...but it won't be me.



Accidents can happen to anyone...but this was really dumb, IMO.

Having grown weary of catching baseballs in his old age, Jose Canseco decided to try smaller, faster projectiles instead.

William Haskins said:

name one.

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Fitting, given he's best known for shooting his mouth off.

Twenty-some years ago, for three or four seasons, José Canseco was considered, hands down (pun intended) the best player in baseball, potential Hall-of-Fame material. This was, of course, before the steroid scandals erupted, in which he was famously embroiled.

Not as well known is that he is one of identical twins, and his brother Ozzie had a cup of coffee as a Major League player, too, with the St. Louis Cardinals. But he apparently didn't dope up, and never was much good.

At the end, José became kind of a clown, not least because of the famed moment when, playing left field, he let a ball bounce off his head into the stands for a home run. It's one of the all-time ESPN highlights. As funny as we might be tempted to consider his career, and this incident, it's really a pretty sad thing.

caw

T Robinson said:

There are so many jokes built into that............

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William Haskins said:

name one.

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Jose, can't you see?

Whenever I hear his name, all I can think about is Jim Carrey screaming, "I'm Jose Cansenco! I'm Jose Cansenco!" as they're dragging him from the courtroom in Liar, Liar.

Maybe he was testing his theories on gravity.

Personally, I've always had a hard time differentiating Jose Canseco from Mark Gastineau. Not sure why.

I thought Jose always switched with his twin in dangerous situations.

So ... he didn't die trying to rescue a washing machine from a house fire?

(All I know about baseball I learned from the Simpsons softball episode)

T Robinson said:

There are so many jokes built into that............

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William Haskins said:

name one.

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One? Hell, Deadspin can do much better than that!



R.I.P.


Well, I guess now we'll find out if that human growth hormone really works.

How to clean a gun:
1. Remove any bullets from gun.



Doctor: Jose, we're rushing you into surgery right now. We can save your finger.
Jose: AAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAH!
Nurse: We're going to inject your hand with a painkiller, which will take effect before we start reattaching your finger.
Jose: NO! NO PAINKILLER! JUST DO THE SURGERY!
Doctor: With all due respect, Jose, you don't need to be a tough guy. Just take the painkiller.
Jose: It's not - NNNNNNNGH - it's not that!
Nurse: What is it, then?
Jose: I hate needles!
Doctor, Nurse, and Jose: [burst out laughing]
Jose: [winks at camera]
[roll credits]

I couldn't drive without my middle finger--s6

Three for three - big day at the plate for nighttimer! Test him!

Perks said:

Whenever I hear his name, all I can think about is Jim Carrey screaming, "I'm Jose Cansenco! I'm Jose Cansenco!" as they're dragging him from the courtroom in Liar, Liar.

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Yes, me too!

blacbird said:

Not as well known is that he is one of identical twins

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Never heard of either one of them so googled them, they look a LOT alike! Guess it'll be a whole lot easier to tell them apart now that Jose is missing a finger.

regdog said:

And this concludes our lesson for the day as to why one must BE SURE the gun is actually unloaded before cleaning it.

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I was taught to always ALWAYS assume the gun IS loaded. Even if you've just unloaded it.

But then, my teachers were military, so there was a bit more discipline involved.

Jose Canseco's reattached finger falls off during poker tournament.

The saga of Jose Canseco's finger — yes, the finger he recently shot off and had surgically reattached — has apparently taken another equally tragic and squeamish turn.

While participating in a poker tournament on Thursday night, Canseco claims the finger just fell off, and he has the witnesses to back him up. He even says one person was taking video when it happened.

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Check out the link for Canseco's tweets after the incident.

I raise you. . . a finger.

This is no joking matter, Xelebes. A man's finger has fallen off while playing poker. (I wonder what kind of hand he had?)

That said, Canseco himself is showing a brave face to the world via his tweets:

This guy called my agent and sold him the video.of my finger falling off .it looks kinda funny.lol

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