Stupid things non-writers say

Lillith1991 said:

Don't be sorry. I'd be annoyed too and I write both fanfic and original fic. It's annoying when people assume things, especially other writers. By the way, why do I think that person in your convo didn't plan their OCs very well? I have one in my trek fic and she fits. Bad writing on that persons part.

"Writing is easy."
"Oh really, and what have you written?"
"......"

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I got the opposite reaction from a couple of friends when i told them I write. The 'wow-you-must-be-very-talented' reaction.

BaneStryfe said:

When I tell people that I write they always ask what do I write. I reply "mostly fantasy, but lately I've been working on Urban Fantasy" They look at me with a blank look and ask "What's the difference?"

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In all fairness, I don't think that's a stupid question. I'd never heard of Urban Fantasy either before AW. I would see it as an expression of interest in what you do, and feel quite chuffed that someone wanted to talk more about it.

Any enthusiast, be it writing or bird watching or 5th century BC Attic symbouleutic oratory, must understand that the average person isn't going to know as much about their interest as they do. If they ask, you get to explain, and that's better than being offered a candy bar

Just, yanno... know when to stop (usually when their eyes roll back up into their head and they start drooling on themselves)

bookworm92 said:

I got the opposite reaction from a couple of friends when i told them I write. The 'wow-you-must-be-very-talented' reaction.

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I get this a lot too. I'm also really surprised when someone DOESN'T know that I'm writing a novel, coz sometimes I feel like I walk round with 'aspiring novelist' on a post-it note stuck to my face.

I know someone who watches a lot of films - Bourne ones, Harry Potter etc, who won't read fiction books because they're made-up. Does read autobiography and true life.

Once at a big book signing, attached to a convention - I heard someone, don't know if member of the public or convention attendee, walk up to a table full of authors and ask "who is the biggest one here". That was their opening line, not "hello".

For all of you who get interrupted while writing - a friend of mine, not a writer, was very keen on running. Her boyfriend was nuts about sailing - the sort of yachts which need a crew of 3 or 4. (He had a lot of money.) The trouble was, when he got going it wasn't funny stories about things that went wrong, it was detailed obsessing about hull design, sail area to hull length ratios and other such crowd pleasers. She said to him several times that she'd listen for a bit because he listened to her talk about running, but not for too long.
The message didn't register.
So then she told him he could have five minutes at a time for hull ratio conversations, got out her stop watch and when he hit five minutes, walked off. They broke up a little while later...... (But to clarify - that was a general thing not about the timing of conversations....)

"Your picture book idea sounds too...fantastical."



Umm...good.

Bolero's first comment reminds me of an unnamed teenage relative of mine, who refuses point-blank to consider any media with any supernatural or magical thing in it (even if it's really small) - but will happily lap up anything to do with Star Wars' Jedi. Erm, isn't 'The Force' just magic by another name?

Then again, his mother is a huge fan of all the crap-supernatural stuff; so it might be a sensible reaction to it...

KarmaPolice said:

Bolero's first comment reminds me of an unnamed teenage relative of mine, who refuses point-blank to consider any media with any supernatural or magical thing in it (even if it's really small) - but will happily lap up anything to do with Star Wars' Jedi. Erm, isn't 'The Force' just magic by another name?

Then again, his mother is a huge fan of all the crap-supernatural stuff; so it might be a sensible reaction to it...

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If his moms a fan of the crap-supernatural stuff then I think it's a sensible reaction. Me I was lucky; my mum likes things like willow and dark crystal for movies, and she likes Anne Rice( Her early works are pretty awesome).

Nothing said, just a couple looks. You know the ones, the you're crazy and the indulgent "you think you'll make it but you won't" looks. Very annoying those ones.

Okay, I want someone to call me out on this if I'm in the wrong here. I showed someone my query, right? The first part goes "So-and-so finally asks out Blah-blah. And dies."

Him: Who dies?

Me: Huh?

Him: Who dies? So-and-so or Blah-blah?

Me: Uh, So-and-so did. He's the subject. If I meant Blah-blah, I would've said "asks out Blah-blah, who dies."

Him: See? We're about to argue again. This is why I didn't wanna say anything.

Me: It's not an argument. (In my mind: Are you fucking kidding me? How does he not understand what's going on?)

And then, he doesn't even read the rest of the query. WTF?

Was I in the wrong?

mailtime said:

Okay, I want someone to call me out on this if I'm in the wrong here. I showed someone my query, right? The first part goes "So-and-so finally asks out Blah-blah. And dies."

Him: Who dies?

Me: Huh?

Him: Who dies? So-and-so or Blah-blah?

Me: Uh, So-and-so did. He's the subject. If I meant Blah-blah, I would've said "asks out Blah-blah, who dies."

Him: See? We're about to argue again. This is why I didn't wanna say anything.

Me: It's not an argument. (In my mind: Are you fucking kidding me? How does he not understand what's going on?)

And then, he doesn't even read the rest of the query. WTF?

Was I in the wrong?

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I'm not 100% sure of my answer but I think that if you say something like so-and-so asks blah-blah out and s/he dies - which is pretty much what you line equates to the s/he refers to the last person mentioned - in this case blah-blah.

For the mere mortals out there who don't understand the small nuances of our wonderful language simply stating "it has to be so-and-so because that's the subject" won't mean anything. I'm writing a novel, have a second mostly planned and a third in planning with several more ideas waiting to be acknowledged and I still have trouble with identifying parts of sentences. Somehow I got a B in my English language GCSE but I sure don't remember any of the stuff I'm now learning as I go.

JustKia said:

I'm not 100% sure of my answer but I think that if you say something like so-and-so asks blah-blah out and s/he dies - which is pretty much what you line equates to the s/he refers to the last person mentioned - in this case blah-blah.

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This is not correct; "X asked out Y, and died" is a form of verb coordination; verb coordination is only possible with the subject. Grammatically, the sentence can only mean that X dies.

If someone interprets the sentence as "Y dies", there is indeed a grammatical mistake, but on the part of the reader; this is a parsing error.

mailtime, you were not wrong, however, if "And dies" were not a sentence fragment it might be less confusing to that reader/listener who misunderstood. Although, I find it hard to grasp how that confusion arose in the first place!

"A asks B out and then dies" is less dramatic, though, so, for me, the fragment works in this instance.

My "stupid thing" a non-writer has said to me came from my sister, recently, who emailed me a blog link from someone who was promoting an e book. My sister said, "You could do this, and make some money!"

Bless her heart.



Oh, and for the record, I am aware that some people do make really good money selling their own e books. But my sister had that idea that it would be so easy, and not much work, and a gold mine once done.

Which doesn't even take into account the work of actually *writing* a book. Which I have not done.

So, yeah. Well intentioned, but very much not so.

TheNighSwan said:

This is not correct; "X asked out Y, and died" is a form of verb coordination; verb coordination is only possible with the subject. Grammatically, the sentence can only mean that X dies.

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Yes.

Kylabelle said:

mailtime, you were not wrong, however, if "And dies" were not a sentence fragment it might be less confusing to that reader/listener who misunderstood. Although, I find it hard to grasp how that confusion arose in the first place!

"A asks B out and then dies" is less dramatic, though, so, for me, the fragment works in this instance.

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YES! YES! You guys get me. You even know the fragment was on purpose for dramatic reasons. I have no one who writes or reads a lot around me, so his comment was screwing with my mind for about a week.

Kylabelle said:

My "stupid thing" a non-writer has said to me came from my sister, recently, who emailed me a blog link from someone who was promoting an e book. My sister said, "You could do this, and make some money!"

Bless her heart.



Oh, and for the record, I am aware that some people do make really good money selling their own e books. But my sister had that idea that it would be so easy, and not much work, and a gold mine once done.

Which doesn't even take into account the work of actually *writing* a book. Which I have not done.

So, yeah. Well intentioned, but very much not so.

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I hate when people do this, good intentions aside. They tell me to self-publish all the time. I'm not a salesman, and I highly doubt I'll sale enough to gain the attention of a big publisher.

One thing I have noticed, and it's not really stupid, just rude, is how many people think it's okay to ask you how much money you make from writing. I mean, they wouldn't ask about my day job, but seem to think it's just fine to ask about writing.

shaldna said:

One thing I have noticed, and it's not really stupid, just rude, is how many people think it's okay to ask you how much money you make from writing. I mean, they wouldn't ask about my day job, but seem to think it's just fine to ask about writing.

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Yes. Last time I told my family about selling a short story I didn't even get a congratulations before they asked about the money. Only after the money discussion did the congrats come in.

Oh, something else to add to the thread: I was talking to my father the other night and he said, "You know, kid, I really want to see you get published." I said, "Dad, I am published." Granted, I haven't sold a lot of stories yet, but I worked damn hard and am proud of the ones I did. Of course he didn't buy it. You see, short stories are great, but you're only really published after you've sold a novel.

virtue_summer said:

You see, short stories are great, but you're only really published after you've sold a novel.

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That, and if you're a well-known bestseller. Mid-list and everything else totally doesn't exist.

My mom is very supportive of my writerly pursuits, but every now and then she'll say something that reminds me that she doesn't quite "get" it.

The other day, for example, when I got my second short story rejection... and I stress SECOND.

Mom: Maybe you should stop writing short stories. Maybe it's just not your thing.
Me: Well, of course it isn't my "thing." I'm just trying to get my foot in the publishing door, not make a career of it. It'll be something to put on my CV, which might help when I'm ready to publish something big.
Mom: But maybe you should just write novels.
Me: I AM writing novels, but it's going to take me a long time to get one ready for publishing, and in the meantime I'm writing the occasional short story whenever the idea for one pops into my head. It also gives me a nice break from just thinking about the one storyline all the time.
Mom: *beat* But maybe you'd write the novels faster if you weren't writing short stories.

*headdesk*

Faye-M said:

Mom: *beat* But maybe you'd write the novels faster if you weren't writing short stories.

*headdesk*

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Moms!
*shakes head*

*disregards fact that I is a mom*

mailtime said:

Yes.



YES! YES! You guys get me. You even know the fragment was on purpose for dramatic reasons. I have no one who writes or reads a lot around me, so his comment was screwing with my mind for about a week.



I hate when people do this, good intentions aside. They tell me to self-publish all the time. I'm not a salesman, and I highly doubt I'll sale enough to gain the attention of a big publisher.

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It's kind of funny when someone who isn't involved in the world of writing at all thinks they're sharing something new and amazing when they send a writer friend one of those links. Like someone who's involved in any kind of writing community, on or offline, wouldn't have been deluged with good, bad and indifferent information about self-publishing by now.

It's well meant, but do they really think their writer friends don't have access to the same internet they do?

My mom actually did some writing for a while, though she never sold her novel. The publishing industry's changed since she was trying to do this, but she still has some useful insights.

My brother, though, is another matter. I love him dearly, but he's one of those "married to his job" types, and is a tad pompous and condescending about anything that doesn't show a similar devotion to productivity. He jokingly asks me how the "great American novel" is coming along. He was pretty dismissive when he discovered I was "only" writing fantasy. Wanted to know why I'm "wasting" my talent on something like that when I could be writing great literature, or maybe even making the world a better place by writing something non fiction about teaching or biology (my profession). My answer, "I'm writing fantasy because it's what I like to read, and I'm not writing about something related to my day job because my day job already takes too much of my time" just does not compute.

My 7 year old daughter recently when asked what 'Mummy' did for a living:

'She pisses about on the computer, plays World of Warcraft and makes spaghetti.'

We had to have a conversation about 'pisses.' Although this is the same child who recently, when asked what she was drawing, told me 'I don't have to explain my art to you.'

#whathaveibred

Roxxsmom said:

It's kind of funny when someone who isn't involved in the world of writing at all thinks they're sharing something new and amazing when they send a writer friend one of those links. Like someone who's involved in any kind of writing community, on or offline, wouldn't have been deluged with good, bad and indifferent information about self-publishing by now.

It's well meant, but do they really think their writer friends don't have access to the same internet they do?

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One of my friends once sent me a link to own of my own blog posts.

She'd seen it reposted somewhere else and hadn't put two and two together.

o___0

shaldna said:

One of my friends once sent me a link to own of my own blog posts.

She'd seen it reposted somewhere else and hadn't put two and two together.

o___0

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Classic!

"I've been thinking of writing when I retire."

Hublocker said:

"I've been thinking of writing when I retire."

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When I retire I plan to spend my days getting shitfaced on Pinna coladas and my evenings being entertained by a 25 year old called Pablo.

Here's another one on me querying.

Me: I hope this query is enticing enough.

Him: What? Why? You already wrote the book. They don't need your email to be enticing. Just get to the point. Say, "here's my book. Greatest thing ever, blah, blah."

Me: That's not how it works. You can't just tell them it's the greatest thing ever. You know how many other people tell them the exact same thing and get rejected?

Cue argument and talking over one another, and near the end...

Me: Why do you always act like you know everything? I've researched all this stuff. You haven't. So, where are you getting all your info from?

Him: I've been in business. I've written essays and wrote reports. They always want you to get straight to the point.

Me: I am getting to the point in the query. But I'm also trying to make it sound exciting enough. And just because you've been in a business doesn't mean you know the writing business. Not all businesses are the same.

Him: I don't wanna hear it. Go.

I was two seconds away from killing him.

Yikes, mailtime. I think I would have taken his advice and gone!

heyjude said:

Yikes, mailtime. I think I would have taken his advice and gone!

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That would've been much smarter, yeah. But I just love proving people wrong and getting them to understand me, and I need to stop that, honestly. What do I win if I convince them? Nothing. If they disagree and swear they know what they're talking about, let it go. Less headaches that way.

I remember someone back in, like, high school who would always agree with what someone else would say, even if they were wrong. Then he would prove them wrong later. When the person would ask, "Why didn't you tell me I was wrong?" He'd say, "It was easier to agree with you, but do what I knew was right." It was hysterical.