Hi there!
I'm looking for an alpha reader, i.e., someone who volunteers to take a look at an unfinished manuscript in an early draft version.
I'm not interested in a line-by-line critique, but would like to get an outside opinion about whether the pacing and overall idea of the story works.
It's intentionally told very slowly. Both MCs have "their crosses to bear" and it takes them some time to get to the point of allowing their feelings.
Just to give you an impression of the slowness: it takes 42k words to get to their first kiss which still takes both of them by surprise. That's about how far I am into the story (aftermath of the kiss), but the remainder of the plot is already outlined (at least in my head
)
I have been told that my stories resemble sexually explicit Disney movies. So, be prepared for some overly sappy, honey-dipped sweetness, gentle cuteness, and did I mention that this is sweet?
I'm not a native speaker, so one of my main problems is that my characters usually sound like some nobles from a Jane Austen novel, despite being contemporary high school students. Some feedback regarding this would be appreciated as well. (once again: I'm not looking for any corrections, just a thumbs up or down regarding the tone)
The story setting:
Matt is his school's punching ball. Not having any really friends, he's always on the run or hiding. He is small and frail, wishing that he was invisible.
Shane has changed school because he broke a jock's arms when defending someone else. He is tall, a body builder, inked all over, and a scar runs down his cheek. His gruesome appearance stirs some crazy rumors in his new school.
Matt and Shane crash into each other in the locker room which is the beginning of an unusual friendship... and more.
I'm looking for an alpha reader, i.e., someone who volunteers to take a look at an unfinished manuscript in an early draft version.
I'm not interested in a line-by-line critique, but would like to get an outside opinion about whether the pacing and overall idea of the story works.
It's intentionally told very slowly. Both MCs have "their crosses to bear" and it takes them some time to get to the point of allowing their feelings.
Just to give you an impression of the slowness: it takes 42k words to get to their first kiss which still takes both of them by surprise. That's about how far I am into the story (aftermath of the kiss), but the remainder of the plot is already outlined (at least in my head
)I have been told that my stories resemble sexually explicit Disney movies. So, be prepared for some overly sappy, honey-dipped sweetness, gentle cuteness, and did I mention that this is sweet?
I'm not a native speaker, so one of my main problems is that my characters usually sound like some nobles from a Jane Austen novel, despite being contemporary high school students. Some feedback regarding this would be appreciated as well. (once again: I'm not looking for any corrections, just a thumbs up or down regarding the tone)
The story setting:
Matt is his school's punching ball. Not having any really friends, he's always on the run or hiding. He is small and frail, wishing that he was invisible.
Shane has changed school because he broke a jock's arms when defending someone else. He is tall, a body builder, inked all over, and a scar runs down his cheek. His gruesome appearance stirs some crazy rumors in his new school.
Matt and Shane crash into each other in the locker room which is the beginning of an unusual friendship... and more.