"Benveolent" Stalker

YOU THINK YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS FINISHED NOW?! You never had a relationship in the first place you crazy, deranged WEIRDO!

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This. This, this, this.

Too many of us guys miss this dainty little detail. Wanting to be with someone doesn't make you together.

I have sympathy for unrequited love, but the dude jumped the shark in a big way.

Would you like to be fake-kidnapped by me today?

Did anyone else read the comments? A bit down, there's a commenter claiming to be the stalker's victim and begging for the article to be removed.

What a truly bizarre story. We've all heard of erotomania, which makes people believe the object of their affection loves them back. As scary as it is for the one being stalked, the stalker genuinely doesn't understand that the person doesn't love them.

This guy admits that she doesn't! And he is STILL DOING IT!! What on earth is wrong with this guy?

Celia Cyanide said:

What on earth is wrong with this guy?

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Willful ignorance, if I have to be charitable.

heza said:

Did anyone else read the comments? A bit down, there's a commenter claiming to be the stalker's victim and begging for the article to be removed.

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The page looks to be down.

Kuwisdelu beat me to it. Article is now down.

That comment must have been real, then. They took it down.

Well, for what it's worth, the comment was that he's insane and would think the attention from the article was fantastic. The article was putting her in danger because he would pursue her for the fame it would apparently bring him. Also, she says he pleaded not guilty in court and was released (or will be released... it gets confusing in later comments) on bail in the city where she lives. She said he's already attacked other people randomly. She also said she'd been working yesterday to get 30 twitter posts removed and that any reference to the blog puts her in danger...

Does this need to be deleted? Like, could he find this thread?

I would have rather it stayed up, but I can't fault those that take it down. (including this thread)

Sounds weird, but I mean that we need to confront these people for the loons that they are. Still, I also don't want to put people in any more danger.

I am still able to click the link in the OP and see the article. Did they put it back up???

It's back up. I couldn't see it before, but now I can. Earlier there was a "must be a member of the blog" message, so they may have been updating it.

I suspect the only point this man has is in his pants.

Stalking is not benevolent in any way, shape, or form, even with quote marks.

Cyia said:

It's back up. I couldn't see it before, but now I can. Earlier there was a "must be a member of the blog" message, so they may have been updating it.

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Am I understanding this correctly? There's a stalker. Someone has written a blog post about the stalker, the stalker's victim has asked the blogger to remove it because (as we know) anything that mentions the stalker in connection with the victim strengthens the stalker's feeling of connectedness and rightness and there's a danger in that of escalation - and the blogger has disregarded that?

That seems very unhelpful.

ETA: +1 Heza

mccardey said:

Am I understanding this correctly? There's a stalker. Someone has written a blog post about the stalker, the stalker's victim has asked the blogger to remove it because (as we know) anything that mentions the stalker in connection with the victim strengthens the stalker's feeling of connectedness and rightness and there's a danger in that of escalation - and the blogger has disregarded that?

That seems very unhelpful.

ETA: +1 Heza

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That seems to be the extent of it. I clicked through and skimmed the stalking post. SMH. Part of me is stunned that he hasn't gotten the idea, but then again, he's in the UK, and my impression is that UK laws in general tend to favor the accused, so I wonder if there's any actual threat to him.

I also read "The World Rose" post, and he said this:

I shall be relentless in promoting my work for the next several months, and I intend to try some novel techniques, so don’t be surprised if you see me in the news

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So is the stalking post part of those "novel techniques?"

cmhbob said:

So is the stalking post part of those "novel techniques?"

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A fake kidnapping was. He intended to approach this woman on the street and invite her to her own kidnapping (for which he had "all the supplies"), which would involve the two of them "camping" for a couple of days while authorities searched for her. In his mind, this equaled insta-fame, wherein his book would become a best-seller and the object of his obsession would be cast as the lead in the inevitable movie-adaptation of said book.

So basically, this guy sees no problem with stalking or tying up needed emergency personnel for a hoax, so long as he gets rich and famous on the back end and gets to live out his "fantasy novel" on screen.

I know you should never diagnose someone online, but this guy needs help. (From the sound of it, she might need help, too, but help of the law enforcement kind. This man didn't just follow her and learn her schedule, he followed her to another country. Does the UK have an equivalent to the American restraining order?)

This guy clearly wants attention, so the last thing anyone should do is give it to him for this sort of behavior. They should never have written this blog, but if they just had to, they should have omitted the name of the book, at the very least, and damn well should have taken it down when asked if there's ANY chance the commenter who requested that was the actual victim (assuming there IS a victim and this isn't just part of a bad PR stunt. ) Regardless, I feel duped into witnessing a lame-ass freakshow's attempt at getting publicity for his self-pubbed book just by reading this,
and I hate to see it perpetuated. Either he stalked a woman or he's lying about being a stalker; either way, he's crossed a line with me.

Oh dear, apparently it's gone viral.

Cyia said:

Oh dear, apparently it's gone viral.

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In that case, I wonder if it's part of his own (rather unfortunate) marketing campaign.

Cyia said:

...
So basically, this guy sees no problem with stalking or tying up needed emergency personnel for a hoax, so long as he gets rich and famous on the back end and gets to live out his "fantasy novel" on screen.

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The part I bolded may well be seen as a "bigger" crime than stalking by authorities, as it messes with THEIR time and resources.

OTOH, he hasn't actually done that (though it's arguable he had made plans to do so), but he certainly HAS stalked this woman, and apparently admitted it on his blog (haven't even got to the blog, been reading this thread, the linked story, and some of the comments, especially those from the victim who has been asking repeatedly for the story to be taken down. From this thread, it was apparently taken down for a short time, but put back up presumably because it had already gone viral.

I know you should never diagnose someone online, but this guy needs help.

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This may well be true, but the real, immediate point is he needs to be arrested.

Cyia said:

Oh dear, apparently it's gone viral.

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Not surprising, as it's a dramatic apparently-real-life story that any of these buzzy, gawky click-bait sites would pick up.

The victim is now blaming anything more that might happen on the author, which I can understand from her point of view, but ... I don't think she has any legal standing against the author, but of course IANAL and I especially am unfamiliar with UK law.

mccardey said:

In that case, I wonder if it's part of his own (rather unfortunate) marketing campaign.

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He may be happy that the story went viral, he may THINK it may increase book sales, bla bla bla, but any possible funds he gets from sales will be more than swamped by attorney fees.

I have no doubt (okay, I have a lot of hpe) that he's about to be in a world of hurt, and there's nothing anyone (short of a very rich relative who has no problem "enabling" him) can do about it.

Everything else aside, there's no meaningful difference between "benevolent stalking" and "malevolent stalking" because many stalkers believe that they truly love their victims and that their victims might love them back. That's part of what makes stalking scary--it's often very irrational.

But ultimately, it's the stress and fear inflicted on the victim that's the problem. Knowing that someone believes they "truly love you" doesn't make being the object of someone's obsession any less threatening. If anything, it makes it worse, because of the irrational aspect.