Repetition of names

There's nothing wrong with using pronouns if it doesn't generate confusion. For example, if your character is alone in the scene, you don't need to keep using his name. Also, if you find you're starting too many sentences with a character name or pronoun, you might be filtering too much.

I would venture to guess ten is a high number. I guess it matters what POV it's written in also. If it's first person and your MC is the narrator, then you probably won't see the MC name pop up too often. But if it's third person, I would guess that you would use the name pretty often. Examine books of a similar genre and POV and see what you find. I would suggest that if it is something you are noticing and it is causing concern, you may be using names too often instead of letting certain strands of dialogue stand alone and untagged when the reader knows who is speaking.

As far as a set grammatical rule...no.

This is really about style, not grammar. It's difficult to say whether or not it's excessive without context. If a pronoun works instead of the name, I lean that way most of the time. But if it leads to confusion, that doesn't work.

My personal rule is that if there are only two characters in a scene, I can usually construct quite a bit of dialogue without indicating names or pronouns. I throw them in after every few exchanges just to ensure no one's getting lost along the way. Well, that and to break it up so I don't have a page of all dialogue.

If there are multiple characters, then I will sometimes go beyond names to titles (the engineer, the detective, the koala tamer) or short descriptions (the older man, the fat man, the smelly man).

One thing a friend of mine used to do was switch between first names and last names to avoid repetition. But that was terribly confusing to read. It was like I needed a cheat sheet to keep track of everyone. I don't recommend doing that.

leocrow said:

Do you know if there is a rule concerning the use of MC names instead of "he/she"? Is there a figure not to exceed per page to avoid repetition? Maybe a grammatical rule...

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There's no rule, grammatical or otherwise.

But, IMO, when you're writing in a character's POV, the pronoun is less visible, less distracting than the name, and therefore more intimate. Which in turn helps with the illusion of telling the story through the character's thoughts and perceptions.

For myself, I don't use the POV character's name unless it's necessary for clarity. When I'm writing a scene with, for example, two male characters, obviously the name gets used more often there. But even then, in back and forth dialogue, I often use the non-POV character's name but only the pronoun for the POV character.

Bottom line, be deliberate in your choice to use the name or the pronoun. Don't just sprinkle the name around randomly. If you start a paragraph with the character's name, you probably don't need to keep repeating it in that paragraph. Definitely don't start a paragraph using the pronoun and then pop the character's name in somewhere in the middle, because then it can make it seem as if the character just showed up. That's jarring.

ETA: Re filtering--

This is when you use words that "filter" the character's experience. Examples would be...he wondered, she thought, he heard, she saw, he realized, etc.

There's nothing wrong with using those occasionally. Sometimes they're needed. But don't rely on them.

leocrow said:

Hey everybody! I don't know if there is any actual answer to the following question but I just have to ask it:

Do you know if there is a rule concerning the use of MC names instead of "he/she"? Is there a figure not to exceed per page to avoid repetition? Maybe a grammatical rule...

I've remarked that my MC name comes back about 10 times a page, including the reported speech occurrences ("...", X said).
I don't think much about it when I write but I know that going with pronouns for too long can be incorrect

Maybe this is just about feeling though!

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I've never heard of a rule, aside from don't do it if it feels awkward or repetitive. Generally, using a name two sentences in a row, or multiple times in a paragraph or two feels awkward to me, so I try to word and structure my sentences so I don't have to use characters', especially the pov character's, proper name too often. But sometimes it's needed for clarity, especially when two people being referred to are of the same gender.

BethS said:

But, IMO, when you're writing in a character's POV, the pronoun is less visible, less distracting than the name, and therefore more intimate. Which in turn helps with the illusion of telling the story through the character's thoughts and perceptions.

For myself, I don't use the POV character's name unless it's necessary for clarity. When I'm writing a scene with, for example, two male characters, obviously the name gets used more often there. But even then, in back and forth dialogue, I often use the non-POV character's name but only the pronoun for the POV character.

ETA: Re filtering--

This is when you use words that "filter" the character's experience. Examples would be...he wondered, she thought, he heard, she saw, he realized, etc.

There's nothing wrong with using those occasionally. Sometimes they're needed. But don't rely on them.

Click to expand...

And this too.

Filtering is when you make it clear that the scene is being observed by the main character, instead of just letting the scene play out. In the examples below, the second sentence is filtered (which should usually be avoided.)

The door slammed.
vs
Catherine heard the door slam.

A man walked across the grass.
vs
Mark saw a man walking across the grass.

See the difference? You want to show the story through the MC's eyes, but you don't want to keep reminding the reader that they're experiencing everything through the MC. It serves to pull the reader out of the story, which is the exact opposite of what you want.

After all, if someone is looking around a room, they don't think, "I see an overweight lady in a pink flowered dress. I smell the old homeless guy in the corner. I hear the water dripping from the sink." Rather, they would think, "Wow, that dress is bright. Fat people really shouldn't wear large floral prints." Or, "Geeze, that is one funky smell. When was the last time that guy bought deodorant?"

Avoiding filtering can make your story more immediate and vivid.

leocrow said:

Do you know if there is a rule concerning the use of MC names instead of "he/she"? Is there a figure not to exceed per page to avoid repetition? Maybe a grammatical rule...

I've remarked that my MC name comes back about 10 times a page, including the reported speech occurrences ("...", X said).
I don't think much about it when I write but I know that going with pronouns for too long can be incorrect

Maybe this is just about feeling though!

Click to expand...

There is no rule except to be clear about who is doing what.

The character Dobby in the Harry Potter series uses names when pronouns would do, and it comes across as a charming quirk. If you don't want to write a quirky character, you'd best write as the others suggest.

leocrow said:

OK I see! Does this include insertions in the speech ("Where were you?" Mark exclaimed)?

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No, that's not filtering. But you might not need to say Mark "exclaimed" if it's already obvious from the context that he said it in an excited or demanding way.

leocrow said:

OK I see! Does this include insertions in the speech ("Where were you?" Mark exclaimed)?

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Not filtering, no, but use of nonstandard dialog tags is sometimes referred to as "said bookisms."

I have the same problem, I alternate between MC's name and pronouns, but I feel like I abuse pronouns too much, so in a 5 sentence paragraph, 4 of them will start with "He..."

does anyone have a quick fix for this?

oooooh said:

I have the same problem, I alternate between MC's name and pronouns, but I feel like I abuse pronouns too much, so in a 5 sentence paragraph, 4 of them will start with "He..."

does anyone have a quick fix for this?

Click to expand...

It's going to depend on the scene but try to get out of their head and focus on other things

So, maybe show what other people are doing, add in some description, or just vary the structure of the sentence. Also remember you don't need to say every little thing the MC does (too much unnecessary stage direction becomes boring) Half the battle here is realising you're doing it.

So (totally crappy example incoming), He insulted her. He grinned as she slapped him. He felt the sting of the slap on his face. - might become...He insulted her. She slapped his face. The sting of it goaded him further.

Or He got up. He walked to the door and opened it. He decided to go for a walk...becomes: He decided to go for a walk. Once out of the door, the mist worked its way down the back of his neck...

Mr Flibble said:

It's going to depend on the scene but try to get out of their head and focus on other things

So, maybe show what other people are doing, add in some description, or just vary the structure of the sentence. Also remember you don't need to say every little thing the MC does (too much unnecessary stage direction becomes boring) Half the battle here is realising you're doing it.

So (totally crappy example incoming), He insulted her. He grinned as she slapped him. He felt the sting of the slap on his face. - might become...He insulted her. She slapped his face. The sting of it goaded him further.

Or He got up. He walked to the door and opened it. He decided to go for a walk...becomes: He decided to go for a walk. Once out of the door, the mist worked its way down the back of his neck...

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^ that's a great point

Oh, doors. If I had a penny for every time someone in my WIP opens or closes a door. But I'm so horrible at deciding how much information is just enough, and whether readers can successfully make the jump between actions.

I blame the screenwriter in me who insists that every single action be documented or it won't make it into the film...

oooooh said:

^ that's a great point

Oh, doors. If I had a penny for every time someone in my WIP opens or closes a door. But I'm so horrible at deciding how much information is just enough, and whether readers can successfully make the jump between actions.

I blame the screenwriter in me who insists that every single action be documented or it won't make it into the film...

Click to expand...

General rule:

Is it interesting?

If so, show it.

If not, you can probably summarize quickly or skip entirely to the next interesting thing.

oooooh said:

I have the same problem, I alternate between MC's name and pronouns, but I feel like I abuse pronouns too much, so in a 5 sentence paragraph, 4 of them will start with "He..."

does anyone have a quick fix for this?

Click to expand...

In situations like that, I restructure the sentences so that the character is not always the subject. Or I combine sentences so that instead of four that start with "he," I have three or even two.