Writers and Sanity?

kuwisdelu said:

And like I said earlier, it's a personal thing.

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Maybe the best that we can do is to keep it *personal* and not insist that our reality apply to others but in the hope that it may resonate with some.

My reality is that I was born into extreme circumstances; I realize that other circumstances are/were much more extreme. But I believe that what this did to/for me, is to force me, at an age when i was too young to understand what I was *doing*, expand my awareness and emotional capacity. That was the reality that I was born into, so I dealt with it in the way that I could at the time. I didn't shut down, I didn't close off, I rode it to my capability, trying to understand as much as I could while I did. And I believe that stretched me into seeing and feeling things in more extreme ways. And now all these years later, I am still someone who not only has the capacity for high highs and low lows, but I tend to go looking for them even when they're not there. For years, (I'm mindful of it now, so not so much anymore) I created conflict where there should have been none because that was what was familiar to me. I think I've been able to use it, though. Once i understood it, I've tried to. We all use what it is that we have, or what we need to, I guess.

Mr Flibble said:

* I recall talking to my editor about his, and saying that I think I write better when I'm depressed -- Fade to Black was written during my last really bad phase. She said perhaps it's because I feel things more deeply then, and I think she may be right.

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I actually saw one of your books in my library a while back.

But, how the hell are you managing to harness it? I've gotten to a point where I'm done before I even start most of the time & I can't figure out if its the fault of feeling that I suck at writing (either because of my OCD, or just as a rule), having my focus split too much to concentrate, being too stressed to focus, or just some sort of mental block. Or, most likely, a combination. Or, looking at it now, maybe that's all the same thing...

Either way, I can't write. Which is annoying, because I've been known to be so bullheaded about doing things that I practically kill myself in the process, but I can't seem to get around this.

I do want to address the issue of using loaded terms like "crazy" and "insane."

These are often used as derogatory terms for the mentally ill, and I think it's unquestionable this is offensive and unacceptable use.

As for other uses... it's my opinion that these are part of our lexicon and have been used in a variety of ways throughout history — some of which are offensive, and some of which are not offensive in my view.

We have issues of uses like "a crazy thing called love" or "an insane beauty", that evoke a criss-cross of emotion and mental well-being that I don't think can be easily replaced by other words without resorting to poetry. I tend to use these words as intensifiers or to describe temporary emotional and mental states, avoiding use to describe illness, which I think is crossing into dangerous territory.

However, I would definitely have issues with calling people "crazy" or "insane" in a derogatory sense, as well as denigrating mental illness or taking it lightly.

MakanJuu said:

I actually saw one of your books in my library a while back.

But, how the hell are you managing to harness it? I've gotten to a point where I'm done before I even start most of the time & I can't figure out if its the fault of feeling that I suck at writing (either because of my OCD, or just as a rule), having my focus split too much to concentrate, being too stressed to focus, or just some sort of mental block. Or, most likely, a combination. Or, looking at it now, maybe that's all the same thing...

Either way, I can't write. Which is annoying, because I've been known to be so bullheaded about doing things that I practically kill myself in the process, but I can't seem to get around this.

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Again, I'm still feeling my way through this.

Initially I would push myself through because I knew I'd feel worse if I didn't write at all. Then I found that by sinking into someone else, I wasn't being me and that would help, at least short term. And then, once the depression had passed (they are usually fairly short lived for me -- a couple of months or so, though the Fade to Black one was about 6-8 months) I realised that even though I'd thought it crap at the time, now I looked at it from a more rational point of view, it wasn't anywhere near as bad as I thought

So I learned that even though I think it's sucking huge hairy donkey balls at the time, I know that later on, I'll look and think, huh, not as bad as I thought....which again is something a lot of writers do anyway. Frankly until I was diagnosed, I thought everyone was like this! Anyway, by trial and error, I also realised that if I edit when I'm down, what comes out is better because I am more critical. So I make myself do it, reminding myself that my judgement of my writing at these times can be flawed, knowing that the end result will end up better that way.

It's not perfect, but then all any of us can do is cope the best we can. Way I see it, if it makes my work better, that's an incentive.

PS I would like to thank Mac and Medi (and all the others!) who helped me through all this with much patience. This place fucking rocks for that.

Believe it was the UniBomber. The guy who sent package bombs. When in prison he penned a short story. Perhaps more since.

"As result of the antipsychotic meds he was forced to take he was able to think clearly for the first time, in ages, allowing him to write."

Meds can be of use. That's what they're there for. There is no shame in it. If one needs meds they should take meds.

(just a general observation, not in response to any particular post)

I think my sanity and I have always been passing aquaintances at best, but writing doesn't help in that respect.

I understand, Bunker
Thus my post count will continue to stay low on this forum.
Better to just focus on our writing, eh?

Just wanted to leave you these two articles below.
(In case you don't know, Karolinska is a highly respected hospital and research institute.)

http://www.bbc.com/news/health-19959565

http://www.bbc.com/news/10154775

Short answer to the original question? No.

Longer answer? I have Psychotic Depression, and I don't think my writing is the cause or cure. I've slipped from reality while writing before, but I did that before I became serious about writing as well. So I don't think writing can cause someone not succeptable to it to develop a mental illness.

It may be fun to joke about at times that my writing drives me crazier, but that's not true. Being a writer doesn't effect my decents into depression and eventual psychosis.

I do notice my (long-term, overall) mental health suffers when I don't write for extended periods of time.

Though in the short-term, writing does sometimes negatively affect my mentla-helath and well-being.

Overall, writing is good for me. It's what will save me.

But if nothing else, it certainly leads to lack of sleep!

The best thing is to have a nice day.

I may or may not have fallen in love with my main character, who is awesome.

No real person will ever live up to this standard.

I consider this extremely unhealthy for my brain.

beck_magruder said:

I may or may not have fallen in love with my main character, who is awesome.

No real person will ever live up to this standard.

I consider this extremely unhealthy for my brain.

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I've had this problem. It doesn't help running into what looks like a physical carbon copy of your character on the street, and then attempting to stalk/chase after them. (oops)

...

As a general rule, most people who do creative things for a living fall out of the so called "norm". Musicians, painters, sculptors, filmmakers, artists, performance artists, dancers, actors, photographers... Studying at an art institution full of these people, I've learned that normal, in regards to people, has absolutely no meaning. I'd go so far as to say that everyone is weird in some way, but the people who pursue creative things in life tend to be Graduate Weirdos (or at least not afraid to have their Weird show).

I'm not talking about mental illness, which is a completely different thing from being just 'weird'. As a person with mental illness (god, how I loathe 'coming out') I've had it both stigmatised and trivialised, due to the all-too-common notion that if you can't see something, it's just not there.

Being weird helps my writing. Being curious helps too, pushing limits, doing things normal people wouldn't do (just generally doing lots of weird shit in the name of research, and then justifying it to friends/family by calling it research). My illness however, is completely counterproductive. It's the one thing I could definitely do without, and my writing would flourish in its absence.

To answer OP, I don't think my writing is the cause of my 'insanity'. I've been writing long before I got sick. I doubt that I'll ever go fully insane because of my writing, or that it has any contributing factor. Sure, I could drive myself mad with rewrites, but I think if I ever went smearing-shit-on-the-walls crazy it would have to do with life in general and not because of my writing.

I honestly think there's a certain amount of "mental risk" that is part of being a creative person. Creative people think differently - they allow themselves to think "what if", allow themselves to sink into other worlds, to feel things like music and art and literature in a way that non-creative people just can't. That kind of sensitivity to sensual experience is bound to screw with our brains.

For me, music does it best...or worst, depending on how you view it. I LOVE being able to hear a song and let it just fill me with something indescribable...and then I HATE how it leaves me, on the other side, emotionally wrecked. Why did it leave me emotionally wrecked? I don't know...that violin part at the end, or the crescendo guitar riff in the instrumental break or the...melody thing at 3:27. But talk about going from sky-high to rock-bottom in the space of a single song. Yet I think I am extremely fortunate to be able to experience that kind of emotional depth. I always feel sorry for people who don't "get" music; they're probably happier but damn, at what a cost!

Kind of a spastic rant, sorry. In general I think writers are more prone to emotional problems. Thank God they are or nobody would have anything good to read...just, you know, sorry it came at the expense of someone's sanity.

beck_magruder said:

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(meaning to say, I liked your post)

Mr Flibble said:

Again, I'm still feeling my way through this.

Initially I would push myself through because I knew I'd feel worse if I didn't write at all. Then I found that by sinking into someone else, I wasn't being me and that would help, at least short term. And then, once the depression had passed (they are usually fairly short lived for me -- a couple of months or so, though the Fade to Black one was about 6-8 months) I realised that even though I'd thought it crap at the time, now I looked at it from a more rational point of view, it wasn't anywhere near as bad as I thought

So I learned that even though I think it's sucking huge hairy donkey balls at the time, I know that later on, I'll look and think, huh, not as bad as I thought....which again is something a lot of writers do anyway. Frankly until I was diagnosed, I thought everyone was like this! Anyway, by trial and error, I also realised that if I edit when I'm down, what comes out is better because I am more critical. So I make myself do it, reminding myself that my judgement of my writing at these times can be flawed, knowing that the end result will end up better that way.

It's not perfect, but then all any of us can do is cope the best we can. Way I see it, if it makes my work better, that's an incentive.

PS I would like to thank Mac and Medi (and all the others!) who helped me through all this with much patience. This place fucking rocks for that.

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Makes sense. That actually helps quite a lot. And sorry if I've asked you this before?

I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested.

Bunker said:

Do you think that, depending on the genre and intent, a writer will eventually question if not lose their sanity?

This question could be more broad to include art in general, but this is a site devoted to writing.

Just a thought before I head off to sleep, to dream of buckets and eyeless statues of Maude.

Good night

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This is one of those things that needs to be looked at on a case by case basis. I'm sure it is common though and I wouldn't think genre would make much difference. Authors, comedians, song writers, journalists...they are all writers in their own way and they all can have mental instability. I know I've struggled with mental illnesses my whole adult life and most of my teen years, especially anxiety, depression, and ADHD. But that has been going on long before I ever decided to go into writing. Maybe people who have those issues are more attracted to creative fields? They are probably more commonly left-brained.