Critique Circle #2 [Europe Chapter] - 2011+2012 posts archive

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Sophia

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Time's up! Results incoming any second! Excitement!
 

Sophia

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February BOC results!

The comments have been collated, the votes counted, and after my random bonus points and demerits have been included, the results are in!

IN THIRD PLACE, with her tale of Kelvin, the Scottish Mexican wrestler and his adventures fighting crime at night...

... DEB! :partyguy: :Clap:


There is no SECOND PLACE...

...because we have a TIE for FIRST PLACE!


Still keeping his Sith Lord death grip firmly on the top spot with his Whispers from Mars, is...

... DEREK! :rant: :Trophy:

... but he has to share it with...

... ME! :thankyou: :Trophy:


Many thanks to everyone who entered and especially to Raphee and Laura, who commented even though they didn't have an entry of their own. The votes and comments should be hitting your inboxes in a few minutes. Please let me know if you see any counting errors.

Sophia
 

Ehab.Ahmed

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Congrats to everyone :) Wow, Sophia, you're the admin and you're also the first, hmmm... Now, Darth Derek is understandable, but you? hmmm, haahaa. I'm just kidding :tongue Really good job everyone!
 

dpaterso

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Today 12:00 AM
Time's up! Results incoming any second! Excitement!
So punctual!

There is no SECOND PLACE...

...because we have a TIE for FIRST PLACE!
Impossible! I sacrificed a goat! And a chicken! The voices assured me--!

... DEREK!

... but he has to share it with...

... ME!
No! NO! NOOOOOOOO!!!

<melts into puddle>

Congrats to everyone!

-Derek
 

Raphee

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Congrats to all the winners. Hmmm...interesting a tie; that too between our friendly moderators. Is that fish I smell in the state of Denmark?
 

Sophia

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Cheek!

Your suspicious minds have earned you minus ten points next time.
 

dpaterso

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Tsk, Raphee. When it comes to the BOC, me and Sophia are deadly enemies. I have her pic pinned to my dartboard. You can't hardly see the eyes any more. Just thousands of holes.

<d:\music\spooky_music.wav>

-Derek
 

Ehab.Ahmed

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It doesn't matter Sophi-min! That's my new nick name for you, you better like it. Take 20 points out of me and still you wouldn't be able to mask that fish smell you have on you, haahaa.

But seriously, congrats to everyone and I gotta say, Deb... I didn't recognize your writing. And Darth D, you seem to like writing about relationships and pain, lol. I was looking forward to seeing entries from Ten and Boss, but maybe next time :)

Wow, Harlan Ellison got three first-place votes! That's more than what Darth D got! I guess writing does get better with age -- just like booze :tongue
 

Sophia

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Tsk, such envy. I can't help being talented.
 

Sophia

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*Files fish smell comment away for later retribution*
 

Raphee

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*Files fish smell comment away for later retribution*

I see the winners have something against fish, must file that down under their character bios.

Sophia, you get the cake for mixing in entries of other authors. Brilliant, I say.

Deb and Ehab, you two were in a tie to get 3rd place from me. Entries definitely getting better.
 

10trackers

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I get no love :(

I, too, commented without having entered :e2bummed:
 

dpaterso

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Tsk, such envy. I can't help being talented.
QFT! Why, your talent is exceeded only by your humility! :D

...Getting back to the BOC entries, I didn't think much of the ringers compared to the "real" entries. They didn't tease, they didn't grab, they seemed mostly setup. In a contest that's built around grab factor, they proved less attractive than entries whose character, setting and conflict elements were more prominent. Methinks aspiring writers don't have big name appeal and/or fans willing to overlook slower pacing and setup, we have to grab the reader's attention faster and squeeze harder. Don't feel obliged to agree. But for me, that's what the BOC is all about. Grab factor.

<grabs 10trackers>

-Derek
 

Lauretta

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LOL It seems I wasn't the only one voting for HARLAN ELLISON :D

ETA: thanks Sophia for doing this, you're a star :Sun:
 
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Ehab.Ahmed

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...

But seriously, congrats to everyone and I gotta say, Deb... I didn't recognize your writing. And Darth D, you seem to like writing about relationships and pain, lol. I was looking forward to seeing entries from Ten and Boss, but maybe next time :)
...
See? If that ain't love, I dunno what is!! :D
 

Sophia

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I get no love :(

I, too, commented without having entered :e2bummed:

Huge apologies -- I don't know how I missed this. You'll get proper kudos when I put it up on the web page. :Hug2:

Derek, I'm going to try to reply to each of your points separately:

I didn't think much of the ringers compared to the "real" entries. They didn't tease, they didn't grab, they seemed mostly setup.

Indeed; I could pick out several things for both that I'd do differently, and it wasn't just BOC 'rules' they broke. I think the most useful thing to do with them is see why they did work for the people who voted for them and commented positively on them, and try to pin down how the authors managed to achieve that. And if you just don't agree with the reasons that the commenters gave, then try to identify why exactly not -- what was missing in the voice or characterisation, for you, that it didn't hit your target? Hopefully it's not a case of "everything".

Another exercise might be to try adding in what is missing for yourself.

In a contest that's built around grab factor, they proved less attractive than entries whose character, setting and conflict elements were more prominent.

Yes, but not for everyone... C, C and S are important, but IMO voice can be sometimes more important. I didn't pick these because I thought they were the best examples of voice, but I do think they have it, and that it's just right for that story.

When you look at forum threads that discuss people's favourite opening lines and opening paragraphs, the examples given are always full of voice. Generally speaking, I don't think we manage that very often in our BOC openings. We might have characteristic styles of writing or topics that others associate us with, but I don't think any of us are quite there with a consistent, strong voice. And I definitely think that none of us really varies our writing voice enough to suit the story we're writing, at least as far as the BOC entries have been concerned. It's mostly always the same neutral voice each time, and it might be useful to force ourselves to be a bit more daring about it.

Methinks aspiring writers don't have big name appeal and/or fans willing to overlook slower pacing and setup, we have to grab the reader's attention faster and squeeze harder.

The reader is the publication's editor, first, and we need to write something that stands out from everything else in front of them. Grab factor needs to be there, but also something that makes our story unique - and that's basically us. Harlan Ellison has a particular writing persona, as does Doris Lessing. You'd never confuse the two. What anyone says and how they say it will never appeal to everyone, but writing is about communicating with others. Some will get what you're trying to do, but not if you're not really sure of what that is yourself, and not if you don't push it in your writing.


Arrggh!!!! What's that??!!!!!

I was so tempted to correct people's comments, but thought it would be too cheeky to do so. :D
 

SaraP

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I really enjoyed this last post of yours, Sophia.

Guys, I'm so sorry I've been MIA lately. Things have been kinda crazy with all the packing and the move. I'm getting a little break now before it starts up again in a few weeks, so I don't know when I'll be able to get back into the swing of things.
 

Debbie

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10!! You voted my Scotish Mexican Puerto Rican for 1st place.
Big hugs.
Super fun, Sophia! Thanks for all your hard work.
Congrats, Derek/Sohpia
 

Debbie

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SaraP! we missed you.
 
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