BS your way through

Jaycinth

Your Cuddly Sociopathic
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 2, 2005
Messages
13,538
Reaction score
4,652
Location
Same Psychosis...different day.
Silly, the home is where you live and the house is rental property making any work you do on it totally amortizable and deductible on line 93A of your tax return, unless you paid sales tax on Halloween candy.

Why does one require an ABA number a SWIFT code and an account tracking number when one wants to wire money to a Nigerian Prince?
 

Ol' Fashioned Girl

Hand? What hand?
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 31, 2005
Messages
15,640
Reaction score
6,849
Location
Last Star on the Right
Website
www.jenniferdahl.com
It's all part of international banking law. Since Nigeria's banking system isn't part of the European Union, the EU has dealt extensively with banking and financial issues for non-member states since member states are generally unable to restrict how financial products are marketed across borders. They require an ABA number and a SWIFT code as part of their backflow tracing program. In the event of an actual transfer, these programs make sure the funds flow unidirectionally, thereby guaranteeing the Prince has access to his funds in the shortest amount of time.

Now, tell me, why are Fritos so addictive?
 

Mandy-Jane

venturing ever further into the unknown
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 20, 2005
Messages
3,263
Reaction score
754
Location
I will complete a play this year! I will!
There is a special micro-chip called an "addictivitator" located in one Frito per pack. That particular Frito is always specially placed near the top of the pack. Once you have eaten this one, you are physically unable to stop eating them. This is a ploy put into place by the medical and pharmaceutical profession to increase people’s cholesterol levels, resulting in medical testing and hospital stays.


When goldfish sleep, do they close their eyes?
 

Silver King

Megalops Erectus
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 11, 2006
Messages
12,438
Reaction score
8,932
Location
Florida (West Central)
All fish have transparent eyelids which they blink while awake and keep firmly closed during slumber.

During the early stages of growth, why does the fetus display prominent gills and a tail?
 

CBeasy

I'm back baby!
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 14, 2006
Messages
566
Reaction score
424
Location
Altamonte Springs, FL
Website
facebook.com
This is because the fish egg is actually a microscopic ocean unto itself. The Fish fetus must swim through the relative equivalent of the Atlantic Ocean to reach the edge of the egg and be born. As it swims it builds muscle, and thus grows in size and develops. If the fish doesn't make it in time, it will be stuck in the egg as the water inside rots and they are devoured by the plankton which will inevitably infiltrate the egg. Fish have a very hard life.
 

Silver King

Megalops Erectus
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 11, 2006
Messages
12,438
Reaction score
8,932
Location
Florida (West Central)
I messed up the game already, CB. I meant to say human fetus!

We can get back on track, though. Ask a question.
 
Last edited:

C.bronco

I have plans...
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jul 3, 2006
Messages
8,015
Reaction score
3,137
Location
Junior Nation
Website
cynthia-bronco.blogspot.com
The term "Homework" comes from the Old English word for "keeping children busy," and , thus, out of trouble. Likewise, the term "Housework" comes from Old English, meaning "nemesis to bacteria." Oddly, with years of mispronunciation and the rise of the industrial revolution, both terms became close cousins in our lexicon.

Why were you late for work?
(Good grief, I missed a page. Carry on.)
 

Silver King

Megalops Erectus
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 11, 2006
Messages
12,438
Reaction score
8,932
Location
Florida (West Central)
C. Bronco just came back from the races and didn't have time to catch up to the later posts, but now she's in to play hard.

Why were you late for work?
Soft breath on my neck and a kiss along the nape made my job seem far away; and when her body moved closer, the heat and rustling sheets drowned my boss's imagined ire, his distant threats no match for her searching hands.

Why does the mind hold false what the body holds true?
 

CBeasy

I'm back baby!
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 14, 2006
Messages
566
Reaction score
424
Location
Altamonte Springs, FL
Website
facebook.com
This question was definitively answered in the mid-1980s by the Russian Psychiatrist Vladimir Pipinofski in his bestselling book The revenge of the Body(PublishAmerica 1984). Pipinoski hypothesized that the since the reason the body often lies to the mind was because of a phenomenon he dubbed "Organ Jealousy". Vlad was quoted as saying "You see, the body does all the work, but the mind gets all the glory." He pointed out that no one has ever said "A body is a terrible thing waste". He also noted Americans almost always know how to read, though all of them are overweight. As a result of this popularity imbalance, the body often lies to the mind in an attempt to embarrass it and thus discredit it.

Why do they call it the North Pole when it's really a South Polarity Magnetic Pole?
 

Cath

The mean one
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Mar 23, 2006
Messages
8,971
Reaction score
2,298
Age
50
Location
Here. Somewhere. Probably.
Website
blog.cathsmith.net
Because it used to be a north pole - the poles switched millennia ago (several times, in fact). Scientists, knowing this, decided abitrarily on a north and south pole, knowing that their long term status is flexible. Either that or they really ****ed it up.

Why is it so hard to get Jaffa Cakes in the US?
 

Silver King

Megalops Erectus
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 11, 2006
Messages
12,438
Reaction score
8,932
Location
Florida (West Central)
Once Jaffa Cakes was renamed Franz Kafka Cakes, US demand plummeted.

In the twilight of our years, why does the light seem brighter?
 

Anne Stevens

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 18, 2006
Messages
69
Reaction score
1
Location
Western MA, USA
Easy...it's a government conspiracy. Isn't everything?? Once we hit the twilight of our years (which is determined by an algorithm that was discovered by Aristotle) we are the able to see the light as it truly is. Lightbulbs, the sun, and even fireflies have been subdued by a device that creates a sort of force field around our planet. However, for some reason, the effects of the field are not experienced by humans once they hit their twilight years. The government is still working on a fix for that one. Why do they do this, you ask?

The world may never know.


Why is it that some clouds look as though they are 3d and others do not?
 

CBeasy

I'm back baby!
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 14, 2006
Messages
566
Reaction score
424
Location
Altamonte Springs, FL
Website
facebook.com
This is because, since all planetary orbiting is actually a form of free-falling, the earth is actually getting a little closer to the sun each year. Since Earth's magnetic field reflects light in exponential amounts, the Earth gets bright every time is moves closer by an exact numerical distance, the Earth actually brightens by 3%, Scientist refer to this as "Light Bracketing" and have determined this distance to 130000^4LightYears, which is of course is represented in equations as ~!. It just so happens that ~! occurs every 65 years, which of course is the time it takes for a human to turn elderly. Thus, it is actually physically brighter outside when one is elderly than in one's younger years. Some experts predict that the cataracts that some elderly people develop is just evolution's way to counteract this effect.

Why don't Baboons have hair on their butts?

ETA: Okay, I went overboard and the one too me too long. So someone beat me. Go ahead and skip me, I just had to post that!
 
Last edited:

Silver King

Megalops Erectus
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 11, 2006
Messages
12,438
Reaction score
8,932
Location
Florida (West Central)
Why don't Baboons have hair on their butts?
Genetically, baboons are 98.96% equivalent to humankind. Unfortunately, they haven't stopped scratching their ass, which makes them even more human-like.

The older we become, and the more likely death seems, why does God seem so far away?
 

Anne Stevens

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 18, 2006
Messages
69
Reaction score
1
Location
Western MA, USA
This is because, since all planetary orbiting is actually a form of free-falling, the earth is actually getting a little closer to the sun each year. Since Earth's magnetic field reflects light in exponential amounts, the Earth gets bright every time is moves closer by an exact numerical distance, the Earth actually brightens by 3%, Scientist refer to this as "Light Bracketing" and have determined this distance to 130000^4LightYears, which is of course is represented in equations as ~!. It just so happens that ~! occurs every 65 years, which of course is the time it takes for a human to turn elderly. Thus, it is actually physically brighter outside when one is elderly than in one's younger years. Some experts predict that the cataracts that some elderly people develop is just evolution's way to counteract this effect.

haha, I like yours better :)
 

maestrowork

Fear the Death Ray
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 11, 2005
Messages
43,746
Reaction score
8,652
Location
Los Angeles
Website
www.amazon.com
The older we become, and the more likely death seems, why does God seem so far away?

In the 16th Century, a scientist/exotic dancer Geletin discovered that when we get old, our brain secretes a substance (later we realized this substance was called hormone) called lipocortizone that slowly shuts down the body's functions. A side effect of this hormone is that it also chips away part of our soul little at a time. Geletin discovered that the relation to God is dependent on the soul to body ratio. If the ratio falls under 1:2,000,000, our soul would not even register in God's notebook. That is why heaven is full of children and young people. Old people who die go to a place called the Playhouse where they may gain entrance to heaven again by exposing their genitals to the guards. Geletin was regarded as a genius.


If the world spins so fast, why don't we all just get tossed into space?
 
Last edited:

Ol' Fashioned Girl

Hand? What hand?
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 31, 2005
Messages
15,640
Reaction score
6,849
Location
Last Star on the Right
Website
www.jenniferdahl.com
Looks like you stumped the band, Ray; I had to do some major research into the whys and wherefores - even called a dear friend of mine, Prof. Puaolini, to discuss some of the finer points before getting back to you.

Believe it or not, getting tossed into space is how we got here in the first place! I know... I know. You're skeptical, aren't you? So was I! But Puaolini confirmed it. Our ancestors - farther back than you can imagine - were flung out into space and traveled here on the backs of star stuff.

Darwin had it right, y'know? Genetic memory being what it is, our ancestors tried for thousands of years to develop just the right 'attraction' to this planet to be able to hang on, as it were. Those who didn't develop the right 'attraction' got flung off Earth and ended up - oh, who knows where? Those who did develop the right 'attraction' stuck to the surface of Earth, were able to procreate, and here we are.

Occasionally there's a throwback to the old days and some of us are born with out that attractive gene we need to be able to hang tight - and over the years we build up speed and one day just fly off. Suddenly. Without warning. If you've ever been talking to someone who just up and disappeared you know what I mean.

And that's it! It's all genetics.

Why is water wet?
 

Cath

The mean one
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Mar 23, 2006
Messages
8,971
Reaction score
2,298
Age
50
Location
Here. Somewhere. Probably.
Website
blog.cathsmith.net
I thought everyone knew that, OFG! Water's wet because the particular ratio of oxygen to hydrogen is able to seep between molecules of most other substances when held between the freezing and boiling point of water. This ability to absorb into other substances makes it "wet."

Since pollution in the atmosphere makes the sky blue - I want to know whether, back in the mid-1800's, when the industrial age forced pollution to its peak - way back then, did the sky appear to be a different color?
 

AnnieColleen

Invisible Writer
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Nov 1, 2006
Messages
4,355
Reaction score
1,392
Location
Texas
Yes, but it was a subtle difference. The color of the sky back then was cyan. What most people don't realize is that cyan originally didn't refer to a color at all; it meant "deadly" -- hence, a cyan sky was one with enough pollution to be deadly. In modern times this entymology has largely been forgotten, so people have come to think that cyan just means a particular shade of blue.

Why are some people born procrastinators?
 

Mandy-Jane

venturing ever further into the unknown
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 20, 2005
Messages
3,263
Reaction score
754
Location
I will complete a play this year! I will!
In fact, no-one is born a procrastinator. We are all born equal, with an ability to do things straight away, rather than putting them off. However, during the process of reprogramming (which happens secretlyto every human being at the age of 13 years), some of us develop certain characteristics such as procrastinating, exaggerating, lying, etc. If this reprogramming occurs at the same time as the full moon, it's power is increased, and the human being is cursed with that characteristic for the rest of their life.

Why does my husband insist on leaving the doors open and letting flies into the house?
 

MidnightMuse

Midnight Reading
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
May 23, 2006
Messages
8,424
Reaction score
2,554
Location
In the toidy.
I didn't want to be the one to tell you this, Mandy-Jane, but it's time you found out. Your husband -- well, has he ever told you the story of his great-uncle James? Great-uncle James is famous, in a way. See, there was this science experiment, involving a chamber and a fly, and . . . well. . . Suffice it to say, your husband vowed as a young boy to never stop trying to find his great-uncle James. After fighting his way free of that spider web, he hasn't been seen since. Your husband is simply doing his part by offering safe sanctuary to any fly who might happen to be great-uncle James. "Help me! Help me!"


Why is the Superbowl never held in Hawaii?
 

PattiTheWicked

Unleashing Hell.
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 15, 2005
Messages
3,999
Reaction score
1,249
Website
www.pattiwigington.com
The eggplant actually begins as an egg when it comes out of the nether regions of a large hen -- specifically, a breed known as the Bulgarian Purple. These large, hardy hens are ideal for folks who want to raise vegetables but have a "brown thumb". A well-fed Bulgarian Purple can lay up to four eggs a day, and sometimes as many as thirty a week! Once the eggs are harvested, they're planted in the soil just like any other seed, and they produce the plant which later sprouts the "vegetable" known as eggplant. Which, as we've just learned, isn't a plant at all but in fact a dairy product.


Question: Who decides on the names for those colors you find on the paint swatches at places like Lowe's and Home Depot?
 

Parkinsonsd

Super Member
Registered
Joined
Aug 19, 2006
Messages
525
Reaction score
326
The names given to those colors are governmentally researched and approved appellations designed to relax you as you stare at the wall during a terrorist attack or other national emergency. One of the many functions of the Department of Homeland Security is to create a peaceful and harmonious state of mind in cases of dire national emergency. As you'll notice HOME DEPOT is really an abbreviated form of Dep. of Homeland Sec., as I'm sure you have hitherto realized. Just as LOWES is merely an anacronym for the organization dealing with prenumbral sensitivity requirements as set forth in the Federal Code of Regulating Enforcemental Provisions Volume 27 Section 14 A sub parens 56-98.






Why don't you ever hear of people being reincarnated from Joe Shmo the onion picker from Timbucktu?