A couple more comments on entries:
#7 – Maryn – Nicely detailed. The thing I like best about this is how Maryn weaved in the backstory without it feeling like info dumping. Each remembrance/thought of Brenda’s was tied closely into something happening in the present. And it was so different to have 9/11 tied into the story. Some of the lines were just perfect –
“Amen,” her family chorused, except Lauren. Ironic, considering the oversized silver cross on a heavy chain, today paired with a studded dog collar.
Whether your oldest had figured out why Daddy’s assistant at Cantor Fitzgerald felt free to adjust his tie and touched him more than Mom did.
She did a great job at showing Brenda’s exhaustion and a family’s pain but ended on a positive, going forward note. We know they’ll make it.
#4 – c.bronco – Lots of good plot weaved into a short piece. Great beginning. The narrative voice conveyed a certain personality of the MC which went quite well with the plot – a bit hair raising, too. Nicely done!
#2 - orchDork - Lovely description of the snow and cold. I liked Brenda's relationship with her horse. I also liked the part about Brenda's boys - was this the only entry where Brenda had three boys? - how the ranch had turned them into men. And a suspenseful ending! Nice job.
I've got to run out again, but I'm not finished.
c.e.
#7 – Maryn – Nicely detailed. The thing I like best about this is how Maryn weaved in the backstory without it feeling like info dumping. Each remembrance/thought of Brenda’s was tied closely into something happening in the present. And it was so different to have 9/11 tied into the story. Some of the lines were just perfect –
“Amen,” her family chorused, except Lauren. Ironic, considering the oversized silver cross on a heavy chain, today paired with a studded dog collar.
Whether your oldest had figured out why Daddy’s assistant at Cantor Fitzgerald felt free to adjust his tie and touched him more than Mom did.
She did a great job at showing Brenda’s exhaustion and a family’s pain but ended on a positive, going forward note. We know they’ll make it.
#4 – c.bronco – Lots of good plot weaved into a short piece. Great beginning. The narrative voice conveyed a certain personality of the MC which went quite well with the plot – a bit hair raising, too. Nicely done!
#2 - orchDork - Lovely description of the snow and cold. I liked Brenda's relationship with her horse. I also liked the part about Brenda's boys - was this the only entry where Brenda had three boys? - how the ranch had turned them into men. And a suspenseful ending! Nice job.
I've got to run out again, but I'm not finished.
c.e.