The Triolet Trail

onestepp

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I ate all the cookies you made today
They were delicious, scrumptious, and sweet
Made from mud, dirt, and grey-red clay
I ate all the cookies you made today
In the hay underneath a sun's ray
A homemade, wholesome, fulfilling treat
I ate all the cookies you made today
They were delicious, scrumptious, and sweet.
 

B.D. Eyeslie

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They were delicious, scrumptious, and sweet,
the children who came for dinner.
Though it's rare that I'd be eating meat,
they were delicious, scrumptious, and sweet.
Hansel and Gretel made me a treat
from squirrel and rabbit innards—
they were delicious. Scrumptious and sweet,
the children who came for dinner.
 
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kdnxdr

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the children who came for dinner
stared from the screen while I ate;
pity for them, maybe a glimmer,
the children who came for dinner;

to have no compassion, a sinner
asks what can I do to change fate?
the children who came for dinner
stared from the screen while I ate.
 

Perscribo

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Staired, from the screen, while I ate
your jujubees, pyramids crumbled.
Slave in irons, full of hate,
stared from the screen--while I ate
the last little drop of our date.
Your face told what your mouth mumbled,
stared from the screen. While I ate
your jujubees, pyramids crumbled.



[sorry!--suggest altering plurals to make last line more workable]
 

JohnL

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Your Jujubes, pyramids crumbled?
I’d say neither one was clearly better; though
the former grew cursed, and nothing humbled
your Jujubes... pyramids crumbled
don’t taste as good as sugary, jumbled
fruit either... I guess if ask which I’d rather know --
your Jujubes? pyramids crumbled? --
I’d say neither... one was clearly better, though.
 
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Debio

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I'd say neither, one was clearly better though
Hollywood and novels, never work out well
David Lynch's Dune and Liman's Bourne, you know
I'd say neither one was clearly better though
Wish they'd make a flick to which I'd wanna go
I'd say neither, one was clearly better though
Hollywood and novels never work out well
 

B.D. Eyeslie

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Hollywood and novels never work out well,
especially. When they annihilate my words,
the story dies and there is no chance to sell
Hollywood—and novels never work out well
anyway. I HOPE MY AGENT BURNS IN HELL
along with his publishing buddies—those buzzards!
Hollywood and novels never work out well
especially when they annihilate my words.

Please forgive me; I know not what I write.
 
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Debio

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Especially, when they annihilate my words.
Gods forgive me, I can't allow the slight
Those stupid folk who troll, who diss my passive verbs.
Especially, when they annihilate my words.
They're just a bunch, a pack, of horrid writing nerds.
Please forgive me, I know not what I write
Especially when they annihilate my words.
Gods forgive me, I can't allow the slight
 

B.D. Eyeslie

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Gods forgive me. I can't allow the slight
sinking feeling to cause me to falter,
but I know what is wrong and what is right—
gods forgive me. I can't allow the slight
morbid trance to be altered by the sight
of my love sacrificed at the altar.
Gods forgive! Me, I can't allow the slight
sinking feeling to cause me to falter.
 

Perscribo

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Sinking feeling, to cause me to falter
will you carry on? Your tune I shall dance
back to the sun. Folks say that's what alters
sinking feeling. To cause me to falter,
you'd tie me to the Rock of Gibraltar.
Down for so long, some will seek to romance
sinking feeling, too. Cause me to falter,
will you? Carry on your tune. I shall dance.
 
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kdnxdr

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will you carry on your tune? - i will dance
beneath the arbor of our love, now dead;
weakness stole my happiness of chance
will you carry on? your tune, i will dance.
life - you thought you could enhance;
poison of addiction, for you to quit, i pled,
will you carry on your tune.....i will dance
beneath the arbor, of our love, now dead.
 
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Debio

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Beneath the arbor of our love, now dead
Single yellow tulip lies forgotten
No ears to hear the wind and what it said
Beneath the arbor of our love, now dead
But I, I will always love you, as on the day we wed
Beneath these trees and that watchful robin
Beneath the arbor of our love, now dead
Single yellow tulip lies forgotten
 

kborsden

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Where opinions have a distinct aroma.
'Single yellow tulip lies forgotten'—
no article (you're 'late arrest in sentence),
held back by broken syntax—caught on
'single'; 'yellow tulip-lies, forgotten
bulbs as light between the cotton'
is more natural for the license.

'Single yellow tulip, lies forgotten'?
No, articulate the rest in sentence.
 

kdnxdr

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"No!" Articulate the rest in sentence;
grunts of half truths, so cowardly...
pride holds you from grammatical repentance;
No? Articulate the rest in sentence!
Clear the air with contructions of your pentance,
make your subject agreeable, not frowardly;
No, articulate! The rest? In sentence,
grunts of half truths, so cowardly...
 

B.D. Eyeslie

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Grunts of half-truths, so cowardly,
we dispatch the accused with lies.
Testimony spewed carefully—
grunts of half-truths. So cowardly!
Justice will not be served fully—
she is the victim without eyes.
Grunts of half-truths, so? Cowardly,
we dispatch the guilty with lies.


You can use verse 2 or 8
 

kdnxdr

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we dispatch the accused with lies,
Truth no longer a standard held high;
bending the will of men, distortion tries,
swaying emmotions, ignorance flies.
every nuance, twisted deceit implies
"Justice is lost!", now humanity's cry;
we dispatch the accused with lies,
Truth - no longer a standard held high.
 

Debio

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Truth no longer. A standard held high.
We took to the streets to show you the facts.
A network of songbirds showed you the lie.
Truth no longer a standard held high.
Shenanigans under a bronze bull's eye
greed and men's unconscionable acts
Truth no longer. A standard held high.
We took to the streets to show you the facts.
 

Perscribo

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We took two. The streets (to show you the facts)
where we planted sprigs grew plump new citrus.
Their juice was a burst of those fresh new tracks
we took to the streets. To show you the facts,
it blends with a taste that's meant to relax;
nostalgic like the big orange school bus
we took to the streets. To show you the facts
where we planted, sprigs grew plump new citrus.
 
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Debio

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Where we planted, sprigs grew plump new citrus.
I don't understand, those sprigs were hemlock.
Now they're lemons, they must think I'm witless.
Where we planted, sprigs grew plump new citrus.
It's not funny, someone's breathing nitrous.
Someone please explain, I lost the whole crop.
Where we planted, sprigs grew plump new citrus.
I don't understand, those sprigs were hemlock.
 

Perscribo

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I don't understand those sprigs, where hemlock
courses in the rivers, longing to leave;
to keep blooming; to slow the ticking clock--
I don't understand. Those sprigs, where hemlock
tried to seep its way through, are tough as rock.
Poisoned water offers little reprieve.
I don't understand those sprigs where hemlock
courses; in the rivers, longing to leave.
 

B.D. Eyeslie

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Courses in the rivers, longing to leave,
the great monarch with moistened wings struggles.
Some lifetimes are studied in make-believe
courses; in the rivers, longing to leave,
'twould be none but the butterfly to grieve.
Her beauty, dissected—cleaved—left humble,
courses in the rivers, longing to leave.
The great monarch, with moistened wings, struggles.

 
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kdnxdr

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the great monarch, with moistened wings, struggles,
tears for her lost patriots, now clothe Liberty;
no longer soaring in the freedom of moral principles,
the great monarch, with moistened wings, struggles.
once, the inspiration for all, crippled, she fails the hurdles;
lost in futile wanderings, there's no way back to country,
the great monarch, with moistened wings, struggles,
tears for her lost patriots, now clothe Liberty.
 
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B.D. Eyeslie

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Tears for her lost patriots now clothe Liberty;
her patina bleeds and breaths life as well.
An acrid taste is the price we pay to shed free
tears. For her, lost patriots now clothe Liberty
in a bodyguard of lies, which none could foresee.
Through politicians' callous greed, they sell
tears for her lost patriots. Now clothe Liberty!
Her patina bleeds and breaths life as well.


I just looked up what I should have known to be famous words; so here's to you, Sir Winston.

"In war-time, truth is so precious
that she should always be attended by a bodyguard of lies".
Famous quote of Sir Winston Spencer Churchill.
 
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Perscribo

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Her patina bleeds and breaths. Life as well
as death circumnavigates like a gull
seeking respite from the sea. They will tell
her: patina bleeds and breathes life! As well,
Athena gives nests shelter from the swells.
Birds land at the head, born to seed, and hull
her. Patina bleeds and breathes life as well
as death. Circumnavigate like a gull.
 

JohnL

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As Death, circumnavigate like a gull
‘round harbors, preying on the discarded
with each swoop. In spring sun and winters cold
as death, circumnavigate. Like a gull
without a nest, pester each passing hull;
they’ll curse your onset, wish you departed,
as Death… so what! Navigate like a gull!

‘round harbors, praying on: the discarded.