[/COLOR]
I don't deny women have a harder time of it in public spaces, but I still fail to see how this relates to authors in general commenting on reviews. Female authors are probably more likely to catch flack; female reviewers are more likely to incur verbal abuse. I think that argues for being careful of the language you use, but you seem to be trying to make a leap from that to "Therefore you shouldn't post anything that might conceivably be upsetting to anyone because some people are women."
I'm not trying to make that leap.
You said (with the same bolding I applied to it before):
Your issues with author participation are certainly something authors who feel inclined to comment on reviews should take into account - along with all the other hazards of authors commenting on reviews (you might come off looking like either an ass or a suck-up), there are psychologically fragile people who will flip out and make you look mean.
So I said:
Theo81 said:
Or, there are people who lack your gender privilege and whose opinions are conflated with their appearance, weight, marital status, or sexual appetite, among other things.
I might easily have said other things:
1) Or, there are people who have been blogging about their father being ill and who are just taking a 5 minute breather.
2) Or, there are people who are 14 and who may feel a conversation is an adult taking umbrage with them.
It all means the same thing: it is not about you (the author). Your book is 3-5 days of my leisure time - nothing more. Authors who feel inclined to comment on a review should take into account that I have a life they know nothing about but which will colour how I receive and interpret that comment and the impact it will have on me.
The reason I cited gender privilege is because that's what I was thinking when I mentioned not always having the strength to say what I mean, and because of this:
As a reader, I don't want to be infantilized by the presumption that I'm tee-heeing with my fellow readers over a book and the sudden appearance of an Author is invading my safe space.
You may find the idea of a safe space patronising, other people find it necessary.
I am against the author wading into something they are not, reasonably, part of. I think a GR review by somebody who hasn't done anything more than read the book and leave an opinion of it is something the author is not reasonably part of.
You say it's a bad idea because the author will come out of it looking bad. I say it's a bad idea because it crosses the boundaries of what
the other person wants. Before you post on a review as an author, consider that you don't know this person, you don't know who they are, what they want, what they are comfortable with; you don't know if they've had a shit day and your slightly ambiguous comment is going to be the weight which drags them off the wagon, or if they're going to be thrilled you've commented and it becomes the start of a lifelong mentorship culminating in their dedicating their Nobel Prize for Literature to you.
My leap is: "Therefore, you shouldn't post anything to somebody who isn't trying to have a conversation. It's wrong to force somebody to interact with something just because you want them to or want to address what they've said. It's a rare instance that it actually matters. If they were having a face-to-face conversation, you wouldn't know anything about it."
That sounds like an interpretation you've read into a simple comment.
The fact that people can read such things into simple comments is a good reason for authors to step carefully. But it's a not a good reason to say that comments from authors are defacto bad, invasive, and rude.
Could be.
The entire author comment was 5 words:
"I've never heard of her."
I find it difficult to see this as any kind of conversation and I don't see a good reason for the author to make it. It's not even a pleasantry, but neither is it big deal enough for me to mention the specifics of here.
As I've said previously, I'm against it as an abstract concept, but I'm not going to stone people for doing so.