Post the first 3 sentences of your WIP!

It was a little past three in the morning when the truck crossed the border to Somalia. The frayed canopy top had been torn off, and then bundled up as a pillow for those in the rear storage area. There were three of them in total, all sharing the fabric with their heads and necks, no closer to sleep than they had been when the truck picked them up.

Not bad! Instantly draws you in and has you wondering.

It was a house only a carpenter could love, and it spoke to him the way no lover ever had.
He'd found the place purely by accident, or so it had seemed. But no accident would have taken him down the tangled path that led him there.

"The toes up there?"

"Yep, up on the fourth floor, third door on the right."

Jim nodded to Hank, and they both headed from the motels front desk towards the stairwell.

Did some revisions along with a POV change. So here are my new first three (or so) lines.

It has been a year since my mom passed away in that fire. A year since my life came crashing down on me. Everyone remembered that day, how could they not? My mother was a public figure, idol to the city.

Click to expand...

“I want to kiss your lips…”

These six words changed my life. Staring at them on the tiny black device, I let my hair shield my burning cheeks as my brain raced to find a response. He wanted to kiss me.

DeadlyAccurate said:

Language warning and a special thanks to gp101 and the others for the critique that helped form this rewritten beginning.

The rule is simple: get in, do the job, get out. That means no dressing the body in crotchless panties, a ball gag, and a fedora; no cutting off an ear for the client’s scrapbook; and no delivering some goddamn message first. What the fuck does it matter if I utter a witty one-liner before I shoot him?

Click to expand...

Wow, that's a pretty powerful opening!
Mine is

“Urgh” She groaned, opening gritty sore eyes reluctantly. Or rather her eyes were reluctant; a part of her subconscious buried beneath the thick woolly blankets of sleep, pain and intoxication was frantically trying to assess the current situation.
Something is wrong, it screamed at her.

Click to expand...

It's currently still in first draft.

A different WIP....

[FONT=&quot]Jane Doe awoke to a steady, rhythmic beeping. Through blurry eyes she looked around the room for some sign of where she was and what might be making the noise. A hospital? she thought as her vision cleared, why am I in a hospital? [/FONT]

Bill

Clouds of dust billowed up from Wyoming 120, blasting through the station wagon's front windows and painting Jesse Alvarez's jeans a powdery brown. He barely noticed; his only choices were to keep the windows down and eat dust or roll them up and swelter. The car's air conditioner had stopped trying a couple hundred miles ago.

Another opening from a WIP:

"Maybe I'll get a dog."
Hot lead tugged at his sleeve, another whistled past his ear and pinged into the laboring chopper behind him.
"Say again, Colonel?"
"I said, get that dog off the ground."
"Fall back, sir. I'm workin' on it. Behind you, Goph."

My prologue:

A weary sigh permeated the thick dusty air of a small cluttered room. Orange sunlight filtered through a smokey window, set high in the outer wall. The sunlight was barely enough to lift the gloom, highlighting instead the flecks of dust floating on the air, giving the room a sense of forgotten antiquity.

The first chapter:

I tugged hard at my hair, I wanted to cry.
I had one job. Just one. Shouldn’t have been hard. Even for a little kid like me. I just had to find a healer person at the village. But now I was late and wouldn’t make it, all because of this silly tree.
(The first paragraph since the first three sentences are a little short )

CJ.Wolfe said:

The first chapter:

I tugged hard at my hair, I wanted to cry.
I had one job. Just one. Shouldn’t have been hard. Even for a little kid like me. I just had to find a healer person at the village. But now I was late and wouldn’t make it, all because of this silly tree.
(The first paragraph since the first three sentences are a little short )

Click to expand...

I like it, makes me want to know why the kid needs a healer but I bet I'm going to hear about the tree first (which also sparked my interest)
Also I note you're from brisbane also! Hello

My offering (and the first time I've looked at it since I wrote it!)

“See, I even missed the balloon this time!” David says as we climb down the gangplank from our pod onto the deck of the airship we’ve landed on. “Look!” he points up to the, thankfully, still intact balloon. “Yes, very good.” I roll my eyes. “You’ve successfully adverted the start of World War Four. Well done.” David’s sudden grin halts and fades as he realises I’m being sarcastic.

From "Heart's Desires" - about a Hollywood film crew First 3 sentences and introduction of the stressed out female 2nd protag.

[FONT=&quot]The summer time smog already hung heavily over downtown Los Angeles.
Alison looked out of the cab window, waiting for the familiar sign of ‘Diamond-Star-Entertainment’ to finally to show up. Of course, she knew she would only see it at the next traffic light – but she tried to reduce the time by looking out for it none the less.[/FONT]

Kathleen_ said:

I like it, makes me want to know why the kid needs a healer but I bet I'm going to hear about the tree first (which also sparked my interest)
Also I note you're from brisbane also! Hello

Click to expand...

thanks hello to you too
I like your's also. Sci-fi I'm guessing?

(sorry for detracting from the thread)

I'm typing this purely from memory, but I believe this is correct. Working title of this WIP is "Cheating Death".

"Where've you been?"
Evelyn's heart scrambled up her throat in search of the nearest exit, and it wasn't because the only thing between her and Death was a thin panel of frosted glass. It was because the only thing standing between her and his certain anger was the pause between question and answer - a shield she'd be foolish to think she could yield for any lengthy measure of time.

"You can’t kill me , have a heart , I haven’t had sex in three years , I can shake this head cold , I haven’t seen that movie with that ...what’s his face guy, you know. Everybodies talking about it "
"It wasn't so hot... Maybe I’m doing you a favor. Anyhow don’t take it so personally chum , you’re five thousand bucks in my pocket.
"Five ....thousand? Who the hell’s the cheapskate!"

peacha lulu said:

"You can’t kill me , have a heart , I haven’t had sex in three years , I can shake this head cold , I haven’t seen that movie with that ...what’s his face guy, you know. Everybodies talking about it "
"It wasn't so hot... Maybe I’m doing you a favor. Anyhow don’t take it so personally chum , you’re five thousand bucks in my pocket.
"Five ....thousand? Who the hell’s the cheapskate!"

Click to expand...

Hahaha I like this.

More than 3 lines, but it's hard to split the openings up.

From my current WIP, Panther's Key: Storm Warning (paranormal erotic romance) -

Kate looked down at the map displayed on her phone and then up to the DEAD END sign illuminated in the bright gleam of her headlights.
“Damn smartphones.”
She put the car in reverse, but the engine sputtered and died. About to panic, she searched the dashboard. The gas needle was on empty.
“But, but…the low gas light isn’t on! The warning bell didn’t ding!” She pounded on the steering wheel.
“What the hell’s the point of paying for all of these gadgets if they don’t work?”


And from it's sequel, Panther Key: Heat Wave -

Abby Taylor was absolutely terrified of the squirming, writhing mass of muscle that was tightly clenched between her legs. Halfway through her first day as a real, honest-to-goodness Environmental Scientist, she was convinced she’d lost her mind. What could she have been thinking when she sat in her college counselor’s office and announced that she wanted to change her major from Business Management to Environmental Science?

I helped enslave humanity; unlocking the shackles was my sole shot at redemption.

My colleagues would want my head after this, centered on a platter laden with steamed veggies and a side of get fucked.

Lyx

“Ours is a universe ruled by order. Shendi demands it, for without order there is chaos, and where there is chaos, there is suffering.”
Rachael’s short legs swung back and forth over the edge of the bench as she listened to the Shen’s voice reverberate through the cathedral.

[FONT=&quot]The purple hues of twilight hung like a thick shroud over the newly quiet battlefield. In the day’s failing light, Harius stared at the carnage the battle had left behind. Hundreds of soldiers lay on the ground. [/FONT]

[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Reynold Mannering crouched in the woods watching the two men on the road. Others watched as well. Reynold spotted people similarly hidden across the road, just a few yards into the trees, and he heard a creak of leather off to his right.[/FONT]
----

[FONT=Courier New, monospace]From the new WIP, will definitely change in future drafts, but that's the gist.
[/FONT]

Escape Artist said:

I'm typing this purely from memory, but I believe this is correct. Working title of this WIP is "Cheating Death".

"Where've you been?"
Evelyn's heart scrambled up her throat in search of the nearest exit, and it wasn't because the only thing between her and Death was a thin panel of frosted glass. It was because the only thing standing between her and his certain anger was the pause between question and answer - a shield she'd be foolish to think she could yield for any lengthy measure of time.

Click to expand...

Ooh, I really like this. Her panic is palpable. Great hook.