Cliches and pet peeves

briannasealock

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Okay fella's, tell me what you really dislike seeing in your erotic fiction? I love pet peeve lists and cliche lists and stuff like that. :)

And who knows, it may give us some inspiration to then our frowns upside down and redefine a cliche or pet peeve.
 

Wilde_at_heart

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Specific measurements, especially bra sizes or the length (invariably unrealistic) of one's 'manhood', including calling it 'manhood'.

Head-hopping or frequent POV switching.
 

Filigree

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Alpha male assholes with no redeeming traits, being presented as the 'hero'. Too Stupid To Live female main characters, even more so if they are belligerent and stupid. Doormats of any gender. Lack of worldbuilding. Bad writing. Bad editing. Author presents, in public, excuses for any of these flaws.

I won't go on. Those are the majors.
 

JulianneQJohnson

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I hate when the virginal heroine is complete traumatized by the horrendous pain of sex for the first time like it's some sort of torture.
 

briannasealock

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I hate when the virginal heroine is complete traumatized by the horrendous pain of sex for the first time like it's some sort of torture.

you know, I've always been taught that for women the first time is painful. But after doing research, I kinda figure that's just men making excuses for not giving the woman any pleasure during sex. :(
 

thedark

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you know, I've always been taught that for women the first time is painful. But after doing research, I kinda figure that's just men making excuses for not giving the woman any pleasure during sex. :(

This little mini-thread just reminded me of what pisses ME off.

The assumption that every virgin still has a hymen. Come on, girls climb trees, go horseback riding, engage in sports... seriously -- you know how few girls actually have a hymen by the time they have sex?

But in books, especially erotica, every single adult woman still has one.

Without one, sex is even less painful the first time. Just adds to the trope.
 

Wilde_at_heart

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I hate when the virginal heroine is complete traumatized by the horrendous pain of sex for the first time like it's some sort of torture.

Very few of my friends experienced much pain at all their first time, some experienced little pain the first time for *either* orifice.
However that's one of my peeves too - hair-trigger multiple orgasms, especially for her first time you-know-where.
 
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briannasealock

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lube and stretching. I hate it when character's go at it and they do it dry. Ouchies!

Also, measurements make me mad, and when instead of setting up the story, all you get is a character describing themselves. First person erotica basically drives me batty. :) Also, when the set up is lame. I at least TRY to give my character's good reasons to bang. I kinda feel like the author just wasn't into the story.

Also, character's who don't know what's going on, character's who meet their master's off a website and haven't met in public or done all the stuff they should have done to make it safe (and that is said where there aren't any warnings on the story.) I'm pretty weird when it comes to stuff I read. Sorry.

Badly written fiction in general. So. yes.

Also, I really wish we didn't perpetuate this thing of the hymen. I'm pretty sure I don't have one. I felt guilty for the longest time because I wasn't a "virgin" and yet never had sex. I still don't have sex. So...yeah.....I think that's something that should probably be buried six feet deep.
 

Maryn

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Can we all please remember this thread is on a public board visible to the 13-year-olds who are legitimately here at AW, and the younger ones who should not be?

I can move this to the password-protected part of the board, but I hope I don't have to. Those of us who have said something graphic, see if you might find a way to phrase it that would be okay for your typical eighth grader, please.

Maryn, materal
 

squibnocket

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This little mini-thread just reminded me of what pisses ME off.

The assumption that every virgin still has a hymen. Come on, girls climb trees, go horseback riding, engage in sports... seriously -- you know how few girls actually have a hymen by the time they have sex?

But in books, especially erotica, every single adult woman still has one.

Without one, sex is even less painful the first time. Just adds to the trope.

Piggybacking on this to add: lack of understanding where or what hymen actually is. [It's part of the vulva; an external membrane that covers the vaginal opening. It's not something deep inside of the vagina.]
 

dangerousbill

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Okay fella's, tell me what you really dislike seeing in your erotic fiction? I love pet peeve lists and cliche lists and stuff like that.

1. A string of erotic scenes with no plot of consequence.

2. No emotional involvement with the characters.

3. The sex goes perfectly every time with no glitches. No one has ED or falls off the bed and breaks his/er collarbone.

4. STDs don't exist, or no one worries about them.

5. "OMIGOD! I'M CUMMMMMINNNNNNG!!!!"
 

Sol Quince

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1. A string of erotic scenes with no plot of consequence.

2. No emotional involvement with the characters.

3. The sex goes perfectly every time with no glitches. No one has ED or falls off the bed and breaks his/er collarbone.

4. STDs don't exist, or no one worries about them.

5. "OMIGOD! I'M CUMMMMMINNNNNNG!!!!"

so true :roll: You're hilarious :ROFL:
 

Elly_Green

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1. Perfect bodies for the men and women. The few authors who go outside the lines do so humorously. What ever happened to realism?
2. Measurements, of any sort, are completely unnecessary.
3. Deep penetration... not really the best method of reaching a climax for either partner.
4. I'm pretty sure 95% of every alpha male erotica/romance follows the exact same pattern of seduction and sexual acts... not kidding here. It is like reading the same book over and over again.

What I desperately want to read is a good story, with a little plot, please, wherein the woman's a strong personality and the man's a confident white collar worker. There isn't any dom/sub play, just old fashioned lust. And, dare I say it, they both have at least one physical flaw and the sex is actually realistic - maybe, just maybe she doesn't come at first and maybe, just maybe, he cares enough about her to slow down and asks her what she needs. Now, wouldn't that be refreshing!
 

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If you combine all those heroines with 'mammoth heaving bosoms' and heroes with 'throbbing manhood' with incredible feats of contortion that an Olympic gymnast couldn't imitate, you've hit my pet peeve.

Well, that and trying to understand how an M/F scene can have so many body parts in so many places. The internal monologue plays something like "He's kissing here there, this might be good. Wait, how did his mouth get up there? Hold on a sec...when did his lips get there? Nonononono, now it's back at the starting point? What.The.Heck."

I want to get lost in the scene playing out, not lost in a maze. In a maze, I put down the book to puzzle it out with a pen and paper, which never works.
 

Elly_Green

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Yes, but when the characters are physically perfect (especially when they are mentally and emotionally flat), I want to smack them. Past a certain point, these characters are not interesting - much less arousing.

Exactly.

Flaws can be attractive. Flaws can be sexy. Honestly, I have never once in my life fantasized about a perfect specimen of humanity. Instead of the ex-military, super-hot, muscle-bound hero of alpha males, how about a sexy runner, lean and healthy, with a strong sense of good and mercy, who stumbles upon a woman in trouble and rushes to her aid. Oh, and he's a vegan. He can still be just as sexy and fantasy-worth as the other man.

It takes a little imagination, that's all.
 

Rechan

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Things I hate:

Using a mirror to describe the main character's appearance.

Porn logic - the "sex with the pizza guy" premise of two people who wouldn't be having sex in this situation having sex. I Like anonymous and/or casual sex, but there has to be some degree of believability. (This is generally why I write erotica from the woman's PoV. I build up the story so the seemingly outrageous actions are in-character and reasonable).

Absurd, flowery, or nasty terms for genitals.

Stories that start with the main character waking up in bed and going about their routine, and it takes two pages for anything outside of that routine to happen.
 

Maryn

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Well, those are just crappy writing. I don't care for crappy writing in any genre. (Go figure, huh?)

Although I suppose your "absurd, flowery, or nasty terms for genitals" may be a judgment call. Many of the ones that make some people crazy are okay with me. Not my favorite, not what I use in my own writing, but I'm cool with a great many terms.

Maryn, oh so forgiving
 

dangerousbill

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The assumption that every virgin still has a hymen. Come on, girls climb trees, go horseback riding, engage in sports... seriously -- you know how few girls actually have a hymen by the time they have sex?

On behalf of many other XY writers, you have to dig pretty deep in the research phase to turn up this well-concealed fact. It's still listed in the codex of Things Guys Aren't Told And Aren't Supposed To Know.

Hell, in some countries, a woman can be killed if she's discovered to come up short in the hymen department, for whatever reason.
 

kkwalker

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a lot of people read/write erotica for fantasing, for what they find arousing and attractive, and most don't find Patton Oswalt arousing or attractive. Most media isn't particularly realistic.

I write about people with physical flaws for a reason--I want the people reading my work (who invariably have flaws or at least think they do) to feel like they could actually be attractive to someone. As someone with physical flaws, I get a little tired of the media giving us the impression that only the physically gorgeous people deserve to find love. It's actually sorta a turn-off for me. I'd rather read someone real. Someone who's a little self-conscious about the first time they're nekkid with someone else.
 

A.P.M.

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Insta-love has always bothered me. Instant attraction that develops into love is fine. Instant "you're my soulmate and I'd die for you!" is not.

Sex scenes that come out of nowhere, or that have a random third party addition with no warning. Yes, I've seen this.

Characters that are defined by one and only one personality trait.

Characters given a mental illness where the author clearly did not research the mental illness.

Pet names. Ugh.