How do you describe your main character in 3rd person limited POV?

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Southern_girl29

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I'm having a hard time with this. She can't see herself except within a mirror and that seems so cliched. I have said that she ran her fingers through her dark hair, but I haven't been able to figure out a way to describe her without telling it instead of showing it.

She has dark brown hair, blue eyes, full lips, is a size 10, so not tiny but not big either. I thought about a scene where she's getting ready for work and looks in the mirror, but I hate reading scenes like that.

Any ideas? How do you do it?
 

Jamesaritchie

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Southern_girl29 said:
I'm having a hard time with this. She can't see herself except within a mirror and that seems so cliched. I have said that she ran her fingers through her dark hair, but I haven't been able to figure out a way to describe her without telling it instead of showing it.

She has dark brown hair, blue eyes, full lips, is a size 10, so not tiny but not big either. I thought about a scene where she's getting ready for work and looks in the mirror, but I hate reading scenes like that.

Any ideas? How do you do it?

In third person limited you just describe her. In first person you may have a character look in a mirror, but this is never necessary in third person limited. In third person limited it's perfectly fine to tell the readers anything the POV character knows or thinks. She knows what she looks like, so it's perfectly fine for the narrator to tell the readers what she looks like. "She had dark brown hair, full lips, and was a size 10. . .not tiny, but not big, either."

The narrator in third person limted is not actually the POV character (Though the narrator should be written pretty much as if it is the POV character), but an external narrator who is always either inside the POV character's head, or looking over her shoulder.

Anything the POV character knows, thinks, feels, believes, sees, hears, tastes, touches, or smells can be relayed through the narrator. And since we all know what we look like and what we're wearing, the narrator simply describes it all to the readers.
 
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Albedo of Zero

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try comparing to something else, say... she reads some magazine picturing a woman with the same hair color..."that reminds me; my hair needs trimmed"........... good god don't use that word for word. it's just a terrible example.


in my WIP, the hair color of my main character is an important clue to his race...it is compared it to his adopted sister's by an observer
 

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She was attractive. At least that's what she was told every day by Norm at the watercooler. She brushed her brown hair out of her eyes, and then ran her hands down the front of her blouse, and adjusted her slacks, 10s. Maybe she'd be an 8 again. Not today.
 

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Try using the characterization and the story itself to bring the description in. Maybe even the backstory. Imagine if your character grew up having to buy second hand clothes with their allowance. As an adult, she ends up in a situation where she has to face other people she believes are better dressed than she is--even though she is no longer buying second hand clothes. The description itself doesn't have to precise details--it just needs to build the image.

I've even seen a minor, humorous subplot worked around a haircut. It's in one of the Kathy Reich's books. The main character is having trouble with a nephew living in the house. On impulse, she gets her hair cut in a trendy new short style. Immediately afterwards, she hates the hair cut, and every person who sees it tells her it looks great, makes her look younger, et. One of the last comments the MC has on her hair is that it'll grow out soon.
 

Bufty

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Southern girl,

From your question, it appears as though you haven't fully grasped the relationship between POV and a narrator - the last two paragraphs of James' post above should help clarify that.
 

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He stubbed the toe of his size twelve, triple-A width shoe on an imaginary wrinkle in the concrete. Having to special order the shoes made their control even more painful.

She had to pour cold water in her coffee in the diner since her large fingers no longer fit into the small handles of the thick-walled coffee mugs, and the coffee was always roof-tar hot.

The driver's seat of his Ford Focus was pushed back so far it nearly touched the back seat.

In each of these rough examples, think of how you would interpret the physical stature of the character.

In other words, look for indirect ways to get across various physical attributes, but don't nail them down. Let the reader get the general impression, but let him/her fill in the details. I agree with Uncle Jim. Is hair color necessary? There are so many ways we "see" people, other than hair and eye color.
 
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If she is short, she might have to ask another character to get things down from high shelves for her. She might also feel that she needs to wear high heels.

You can give an idea of the length of her hair by talking about how she styles it.

Full lips... just a weird anecdote, but a music teacher once told me I wouldn't make a good flautist because my lips were too thin. (They were giving out instruments at school. I wanted a flute but ended up learning the clarinet instead.) I have no idea whether her opinion was at all valid, but someone could tell your character she looks as if she'd be good at the flute and ask her if she plays.

In my book I can show the relative sizes of two characters when one lends the other one clothes. And my protagonist has a bit of an inferiority complex about being short, which is tied into his need to prove to the world that he isn't a wimp. People have feelings about their size. In the kinds of story where people fight, I often notice characters sizing each other up as opponents, weighing their chances.
 

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Everyone above me has given you fantastic advice -- I would just like to add a thought. . . How important is it that you describe every detail ? Are you telling your readers exactly how she looks because you think you're supposed to, or because it's necessary for them to know it?

There are times when less is more. There are also times when you'd want to elaborate.
 

Southern_girl29

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alleycat said:
Are you actually using "limited" or "single character subjective"?

In any event, don't use the "character looking in a mirror" device.

You can have the character thinking about her own features (don't we all?) or doing certain things that say the same thing (trying on a size 10 dress), or have another character mention or comment on the character's looks.

I thought I was using limited. I've never even heard of single character subjective. Can you tell me what it is?
 

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The thing is, the reader doesn't care about the details like
She has dark brown hair, blue eyes, full lips, is a size 10.
At least, not in the abstract.

The reader cares about how the character sees herself, which wouldn't be in those terms, but would be more like "thank god her short hair didn't require any fuss when she got out of bed in the morning, so no one would know she'd just rolled out of bed a minute ago." Or she's reaching for the box of corn flakes, which her Amazonian roommate had put up near the ceiling, and she's annoyed that, even though she's considered an average height, and she had no aspirations to being a giant, just another inch or so would allow her to get the cornflakes. Or she runs her fingers through her hair and realizes it's probably time to have her gray roots done. (She doesn't have to see them in a mirror to know they're there.) The reader will also pick up impressions from the POV of any other charcters who have a POV in the book, and will compare that other person's POV to the heroine's POV -- she thinks her hair is no-nonsense and easy to care for, and he thinks it's sexy.

Anyway, the point is, you just need something general, and the reader will fill in the details. It helps if YOU know exactly what she looks like, so you won't have a 5' tall woman getting the corn flakes from the ceiling-hitting cabinet without a ladder, but the reader doesn't need to. She's going to make the character look the way she wants to, anyway, within the general parameters you give her, e.g., average height, dark hair, best feature is her bright blue eyes. Or whatever.

JD
 

Southern_girl29

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Jamesaritchie said:
In third person limited you just describe her. In first person you may have a character look in a mirror, but this is never necessary in third person limited. In third person limited it's perfectly fine to tell the readers anything the POV character knows or thinks. She knows what she looks like, so it's perfectly fine for the narrator to tell the readers what she looks like. "She had dark brown hair, full lips, and was a size 10. . .not tiny, but not big, either."

The narrator in third person limted is not actually the POV character (Though the narrator should be written pretty much as if it is the POV character), but an external narrator who is always either inside the POV character's head, or looking over her shoulder.

Anything the POV character knows, thinks, feels, believes, sees, hears, tastes, touches, or smells can be relayed through the narrator. And since we all know what we look like and what we're wearing, the narrator simply describes it all to the readers.

Thank you so much. This really clears up a lot for me. The narrator in my story is always in my MC's head. It's like we're looking through her eyes at everything, which is why I found it hard to describe her. Thanks again.
 

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Describing your character

Southern_girl29 said:
I'm having a hard time with this. She can't see herself except within a mirror and that seems so cliched. I have said that she ran her fingers through her dark hair, but I haven't been able to figure out a way to describe her without telling it instead of showing it.

She has dark brown hair, blue eyes, full lips, is a size 10, so not tiny but not big either. I thought about a scene where she's getting ready for work and looks in the mirror, but I hate reading scenes like that.

Any ideas? How do you do it?

Mary Jane signed as she slipped into her new size 10 jeans. Oh gosh, she had been an eight just last spring...

Hurrying through CVS drugs, Mary Jane stopped at a shelf of hair supplies. She wondered over the colored shampoo for chestnut hair. Would this change, or just hi-light, her natural dark brown.... Actually, maybe she should just use her usual Dove, she wouldn't want to change her hair color; her natural brown hair and dark mascura accented her blue eyes.

Mary Jane looked at the photo of her mother; she was glad she had inheritated her full lips and dark skin....
http://writers-notebook.blogspot.com/



Hope this helps.
 
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Southern_girl29

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James D. Macdonald said:
How important to the story is it that the character's hair be dark?

I don't guess it is important, except that's what she looks like in my head. And, I know, for me, when I read a book, I like to have a physical description so I can create a character in my mind. Does that mean if it's not important to the story I shouldn't describe her?
 

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MidnightMuse said:
How important is it that you describe every detail ? Are you telling your readers exactly how she looks because you think you're supposed to, or because it's necessary for them to know it?

I call this the "Sweet Valley Syndrome." Every book in every series has two pages dedicated to describing the twins, their lives, their preferences, and a bit of their history as sisters. Maybe kids need that sort of info dump, but as an adult, I hate it in adult novels. If having raven-black hair somehow figures into the story, tell me she has it. If not, don't spend time on it.

Same thing goes when your POV character is describing the people around her. If it's a romance and she's just met the hero, describe his toned abs and thick hair and melt-me-into-a-puddle smile.

But in general, even when we meet people for the first time, we don't take inventory of their looks. Sometimes it's a single detail that sticks with us, and that detail is all we need. Slip those details into the narrative, but don't cram it down the reader's throat. I tend to skip blocks of character description in novels, and never feel like I've missed anything important later on.
 

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chaostitan said:
I call this the "Sweet Valley Syndrome." Every book in every series has two pages dedicated to describing the twins, their lives, their preferences, and a bit of their history as sisters. Maybe kids need that sort of info dump, but as an adult, I hate it in adult novels. If having raven-black hair somehow figures into the story, tell me she has it. If not, don't spend time on it.

Same thing goes when your POV character is describing the people around her. If it's a romance and she's just met the hero, describe his toned abs and thick hair and melt-me-into-a-puddle smile.

But in general, even when we meet people for the first time, we don't take inventory of their looks. Sometimes it's a single detail that sticks with us, and that detail is all we need. Slip those details into the narrative, but don't cram it down the reader's throat. I tend to skip blocks of character description in novels, and never feel like I've missed anything important later on.

I used to read those books, and you're right, they did spend two pages describing them. Now, for me, I like enough description so I can form a picture in my mind of them, but I don't want two pages worth.
 

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Southern_girl29 said:
Does that mean if it's not important to the story I shouldn't describe her?

It means that you should do what feels natural, but don't waste word count on details that don't matter. Even when I'm standing very close to a person, I don't notice eye color. Unless the eyes stand out, like Meg Foster. A tiny detail like eye color rarely affects how I picture a character, unless there is a reason for the color. I make it a point to describe one character's pale blue eyes, because his two brothers have the same colored eyes. It's a family trait.

Make the details important. Don't just say she had a pronounced nose. Make it mean something. "Sarah touched the bump on her nose, the same one that her mother and grandmother had. The Carlson Family Bump, her dad called it. But Sarah hated it. Ashley Simpson had hers shaved, why couldn't she?"
 

Bufty

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If there's one thing folk will skim over - it's superfluous detail.

Does the reader really have to know this? No? Then cut.
 

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In a lot of novels, it really doesn't matter--but in a romance, it often does. I tend to use descriptions to progress the romance arc of the book, because people (for better or worse) often DO first notice physical features of people they meet. Handled properly, it can add to the relationship of the people and give insights into the character's personality. I did this in a recent WIP (although it's in first person, rather than third):

Vince pressed a button on his armrest and the door locks popped up. But his eyes remained fixed on mine. I had the strangest sensation that I could reach out and touch that shimmer right behind the color. "Do you wear contacts?"

I shook my head. "No. Why?"

His smile made the air around my face a little warmer. "I always thought that eye color was a myth."

Aw hell. He noticed. About half the time, people don’t. Dropping my head with embarrassment, I mumbled. "Nope. Me and Liz Taylor. Just wish I’d gotten the rest of her face, too."

"I’ve just never met anyone with violet eyes. They’re really pretty with your dark hair." Well, the purple was probably now clashing with my burning face. My feet shifted nervously and my gaze was locked on his front tire—a Goodyear Wrangler All-Weather in 315/75R/16 size, in case I was ever quizzed. I heard his voice get aplogetic, which was nice. "Sorry, didn’t mean to embarrass you. Hop in."

This sets a tone for the interaction where the heroine is both flustered and happy he noticed. So, it progresses one of the arcs (since romances are often double-arc books.)

Now, this snippet from a different ms. ALSO progresses one of the arcs but, in this case, it's the mystery half of the plot, and in third person. The hero is having his first interaction with the heroine (while he's WITH another woman).

Vivian just grunted and covered her head with the pillow to shut out the bright red lights that filled the truck’s cab. Adam couldn’t figure out why the uniformed woman on the road held his attention so completely. She was certainly gorgeous . . . had that whole Jennifer Lopez thing going on with the long brown hair and high cheekbones, except she more heavily muscled and curved. But no . . . that wasn’t it.

He slowed briefly as he passed her, turned on the interior light and their eyes met. He nodded as he would to any other officer on duty—with a sense of comradery, but it was more difficult to pull his eyes back to the road than it should be. A shiver raced through him because her eyes had been those of a predator.

And there was nothing he liked better than a dangerous woman.

I like describing at least a BIT of the characters, especially when writing in first person. I know I like to read it in other novels, and presume I'm not the only one. :)
 
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Bufty

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But to me, CC, that's good description, written in a way that enables me to build the 'character' picture as I read.
 

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There are so many ways. Direct, dialogue, indirect/action, body language, etc.

Direct:
She had dark brown hair, blue eyes, and full lips. If not for her size 10 frame, she could be a super model.

Dialogue:
"I'm looking for an evening gown," she said.
"You're a size 10, right?" the Saks girl said.
"Is it really that obvious?"

Indirect:
She put on her lipstick, a full shade of bright red. She knew Roger loved women with gorgeous lips like rose petals on Miracle-Gro.

...

You also need to determine if the characteristics are essential to the story or the character. Full lips? Why is it important? Because her lover loves to kiss her full lips? Size 10? Why is it important? Because "she despises all those skinny, size-2 girls"? Brown hair, blue eyes? If they're not relevant, then as a reader I don't really care.
 
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