Do You Let Your Characters Cry?

My characters cry, but I typically save it for traumas (physical or emotional), frustration, and moments of strong compassion/empathy. I have a male character that is cheery and upbeat. When he gets angry (rare) he gets teary since he can't process negative feelings well. Not sure if that counts.

Crying never bothers me in books, as long as the event naturally calls for it.

Sniveling on the other hand...

I've only added crying when I thought it served a purpose to the story, as a tool to drive things forward or to make a point, rather than doing it because I don't know how to express a character's emotions in any other way. For me, crying unnecessarily is the same as people losing their temper unnecessarily, it's contrived and boring and obvious and, for me, shows a lack of imagination.

I've never really thought of making my characters cry. They get sad, but haven't gotten to the point where crying would fit. I would let a character cry if I ever get to that point though.

I am of the Aristotle school, crying = catharsis. If a character needs to have a cry before picking him/herself up and kicking some arse, then let them cry.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catharsis

Mine generally only cry once everything's over and they've lost important people/things - they don't cry while they need to be doing things (like getting the bad guy), but after, it's fine for them to get hit by all the stuff that's happened (and, probably, more realistic, seeing as adrenaline stops people from crying).

I might let a brave character slip a tear loose occasionally

It makes no more sense to me to say the character should never cry than that they should never laugh at a joke in the book. If you've made them cry or laugh unjustifiably then the reader won't be fooled. But if you don't have them do those things when a real person would do them, then the reader might think, what the hell is the matter with these people? Are they robots?

Crying is something real people do in a variety of circumstances, some more readily than others depending on their personality, culture and upbringing. If real people do it then characters should do it, at times it fits the character and the situation.

The mistake some writers make is relying on the crying to lend emotion to the scene rather than the cause of the crying.

I think having a character cry is fine, especially if it is relevant to the story. When there's sadness, despair, stress, people often cry. To be honest, I think this is an odd thread because crying is such a natural human reaction to whatever it is that is upsetting them. I guess the question should be is, how often should a character cry until it starts to annoy the reader? I don't think a lot of people like crybabies.

My characters cry. My MC is trying (and failing) to save a friend's life, and her father has just told her she has to marry this guy she's not fond of, and it's just too much and when he's gone, she cries.

But tears do have to be used sparingly. I mean, here in real life, I'll tear up just watching TV commercials because I can find the music and whatall so moving, but if I did that in a book, you'd probably think I was really kind of off in the head.

Too much of the characters crying starts to sound like authorial manipulation. "LOOK! PATHOS!" and then the reader just starts rolling their eyes.

Real people cry. I know; I've seen it. My characters are, if not real people, at least facsimiles of real people. Therefore, my characters cry.

I've never heard of a prohibition on crying characters in fiction. I'm sure it's one of those "guidelines" put in place to stop new writers from doing something dastardly, like staining every other page with their characters' tears.

kuwisdelu said:

The mistake some writers make is relying on the crying to lend emotion to the scene rather than the cause of the crying.

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This. You have to dredge up what they're feeling before you actually make them cry. I'm not going to believe something is sad just because a character is crying. I have to know what they're feeling. Make me feel what they feel.

I can't invest in characters who don't respond emotionally. That's not to say I want them crying in every other scene, but I need believable emotional reactions. I loathe completely stoic characters.

Haikujitsu said:

Hopefully I'm categorizing this correctly... I did a search and didn't find anything similar.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately--I don't ever have my characters cry. I might put them through the most horrible things and they may be wallowing in despair at rock bottom, but it's always absolutely dry-eyed...or at least unsaid. The closest I've gotten is someone observing someone else and thinking that they might be crying.

I guess to me it feels so intrusive--like you're telling the reader how to feel instead of drawing them to that conclusion. Words like "tears, wept, sobbed," etc. have me automatically reaching for the backspace button.

But then again, I've read books where it felt perfectly natural.

How do you deal with it?

-Hj

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My main character in my WIP is pretty solid. Only one time throughout the novel do I mention that he cries, but then again I have most of the characters in shock due to the circumstances.

Sure, my characters cry. And for different reasons. Trauma, frustration, even doing what they must do and not liking it.

But yeah, I get turned off by characters that cry on every page.

For me, it always depends on the character. I know a lot of people in real life that cry all the time. ALL the TIME! About anything and everything. Not that I've written a character so histrionic as that, but if I did, then I would certainly do that so the reader could feel that 'boy who cried wolf' sort of annoyance and lack of compassion as I have in the past. Similarly, there are people who only cry toward certain subject matter (children in pain or danger, death, etc) and also people who don't cry at all. So it absolutely depends on the type of person my character is. Otherwise, it would feel unrealistic to me, cause damn... real people cry so damn much. (I rarely cry... biannually as it were).

gothicangel said:

I am of the Aristotle school, crying = catharsis. If a character needs to have a cry before picking him/herself up and kicking some arse, then let them cry.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catharsis

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It's the audience that's supposed to undergo catharsis, surely, not the characters.

Yes. My main character did something stupidly selfish and destroyed the longest/deepest/most important relationship she had. Cried when the crap hit the fan, and tears up when she thinks she might not ever get a chance to try to repair the relationship (actually doing so is a bit far off from her, though...)

As for 'using' crying, I don't have a problem with a character who bursts into tears easily, as long as said character tries to do something about it. Nothing irritates me more than a passive character, or one who wallows in self-pity; make him/her take agency and solve their problems.

I find it to be more powerful if they don't. They do cry in comedic situations every now and then

Being I am working on the first draft of my novel, I find I am having my protagonist cry when thinking she will lose people she will love by watching them die, when she is failing or when she is angry however I am realizing that when I do my revisions I am going to use more gestures to show those emotions.

I was observing one of my MCs a short while back and when he started to cry, I was shocked. My first reaction was, "Why? There's no point to that." Then I realized that it was my reaction. For him, it made sense.

I still get uncomfortable writing weepy characters though. It's way out of my comfort zone.

ETA: Though, so far, none of the crying has had plot purpose, so it ends up being cut.

Haikujitsu said:

I've been thinking about this a lot lately--I don't ever have my characters cry. I might put them through the most horrible things and they may be wallowing in despair at rock bottom, but it's always absolutely dry-eyed...or at least unsaid. The closest I've gotten is someone observing someone else and thinking that they might be crying.

I guess to me it feels so intrusive--like you're telling the reader how to feel instead of drawing them to that conclusion. Words like "tears, wept, sobbed," etc. have me automatically reaching for the backspace button.

But then again, I've read books where it felt perfectly natural.

How do you deal with it?

-Hj

Click to expand...

I've been criticized for making my characters cry too often. I ended up toning it down a little.

As for being wary of characters in your story crying, it all depends on the events that preceded it. If they spilled their milk and bawled like a baby then... yeah... it's silly. But if the events leading up to the crying are dramatic enough to warrant tears in real life, then it's only natural to have them crying if it's in their character.

I think kuwisdelu hit the nail on the head. I've read some novice writers who seem to think just because a character is crying, we the reader should be sad, too. Crying is a reaction; like other reactions, it won't ring true unless we the reader understand what the person is reacting to and why they reacted that way.

Crying doesn't lend emotion per se. It's a product of emotion that should be created through the story.

But to answer the question--my characters hold themselves together pretty well. There's been the stray tear, but no breaking-down.

It's very hard for me to write crying scenes. I am the kind of person who has a good cry and then gets the hell on with things,if I even cry at all.

Writing such a scene always reads awkwardly and I get quite frustrated with it. But I feel like we all have scenes that are hard to write and the more we work at them,the better we get.

Or at least manage to write a scene that makes sense! My characters cry a little bit. Just a little!

Mine cry. Or almost cry, but keep it just under the surface. Or both.

I'm a crier. Often for not much discernable reason (fun with depression and anxiety!) My characters don't cry as much or as unpredictably as I do, and I don't expect the times when they cry to be when the audience reaches for the tissues, but it's one of the few areas of my expertise, so I'd be a fool to waste it.

Near the end of my WIP, the protag says, "I'm so bored of crying." That thing of getting sick of your body doing the same thing over and over, even if it's justified by circumstances, is a part of the human experience I wanted to include. Tears are also a way I've explored the character's skewed relationship with her own strength. Without really acknowledging it, she does some pretty brave things during or just after a good cry. To me, tears don't negate bravery.

I don't feel like the author's telling me to cry when the character cries. Having a hard time thinking of a crying scene that gave me that response. And like I say, I'm a crier.