I'm different

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maxmordon

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I'm different (Be checking latest Page for updates)

See any gentle-spirited, well-spoken, shy male person and the first thought of any average person is that that man cannot be heterosexual since heterosexual men are meant to be crass, silly, outgoing and arrogant, an average Fred Flintstone. See any woman who enjoys sports, prefer pants over skirts and doesn't care about looking like Cindy Crawford, the average person thinks that woman could possibly a Lesbian. You wouldn't say John Barrowman (openly gay actor who plays Captain Jack Harkness in Torchwood) is not manly, but you would certainly say straight actor David Niven wasn't, at the same time, you can't say openly Lesbian actress and Ellen DeGeneres' wife Portia De Rossi is not feminine, but wrestler Chyna, who is straight, is not feminine.

Me? I never cared about soccer as a child, cried during half of my birthday parties since I felt bad they would always beat the piñatas (what has the piñata done to you???) and felt more comfortable going to a party wearing a bowtie, suspenders and a jacket than simply shirts, jeans and hair on whatever fashion was going on (When I was a kid, I was mocked by other kids because I wanted to wear ties and tuxs on celebrations. If girls have the right to look as princesses, why boys don't have said right to look like princes?).

I preferred to watch The Neverending Story than going to a school party when I was 6, wondered why women could wear make-up but men couldn't when I was 7. I was bullied in Middle school for being a loner and was teased, with the nickname The Priest for being quiet, smart, shy and wearing the shirt buttons all the way up. I saw Mishima when I was 10 and felt related, saw it again last month and I still feel related.

I thought I was gay when I was 14 and told mom in middle of mass just to excuse myself saying it was a bad taste joke, realized I am not gay since I like women far, far more than men but nonetheless couldn't see why a woman would prefer a meek man. When I was 17, I thought of becoming a priest, not because I was very religious, just because I felt they had a nice job, helped around a lot and a strong guild.

And that's just not even half of it.

I'm different, and learning to accept that has helped me to remove a big weight from my shoulders. A lot of guilt gone. I like dominant women, especially if they look like men and effemitive men especially if they look like women, at the same time I find the idea of having sex (with anyone) a tad scary, awkward and intimidatory.

I am who I am, I am different and whoever or whatever I turn out to be in life, I hope and wish to be respected for who I am.
 
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Mr Flibble

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I am who I am, I am different and whoever or whatever I turn out to be in life, I hope and wish to be respected for who I am.

I am so pleased for you, that you've come to terms with yourself. The first step in making yourself happy.

*huge huggles*
 

Alessandra Kelley

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Well shucks, the Great Hiccup of July 11-12 erased all our lovely comments, including mine.

So, if I recall aright ...

Bless you, maxmordon, for being who you are. I believe I mentioned two of my close relatives who are extremely soft-spoken, gentle heterosexual males. One is shy, but big and burly, and got dragooned into (American) football in high school, which he hated for its violent, macho culture. The other, although happily married, is often assumed to be gay by people who don't know him.

Everyone is a unique individual, and everyone has their own life and loves and interests. I'm glad you are sorting out yours.
 

mccardey

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Don't remember if I said it here, or in a rep point - but you remind me of someone I love *very* much ;) Just keep being you. We need more gentleness :)
 

Zoombie

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Gentleness is almost always a greater strength than beating your chest and waving your fists about.

<3 <3 <3 <3
 

Bartholomew

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Eres magnífico. Don't let the machismo dweebs of the world get you down.

You're loved.
 

nighttimer

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When I was in high school going through my super cool, pro-Black, "ain't gonna read no damn Great Expectations" phase I was into Black authors. Read Angela Davis and Eldridge Cleaver and Ralph Ellison and Richard Wright.

Then someone told me I should read this guy named James Baldwin. So I went to the library. Checked out this book called Giovanni's Room.

Scared the shit out of me. :eek:

Okay, what's dis book about? Some guy named David goes to Paris to think about his woman who wants to get married. He meets some dude named Giovanni, they talk, they drink, they go back to the dude's room and...

Holy Shit! Gay sex? LEMME OUTTA HERE! :e2salute:

James Baldwin was a problematic writer for me. I knew the brother could write, but his stuff was just "too gay" for me. I couldn't be caught reading his books! What would people say? What might they do to me?

Later on when I was a bit smarter and a lot less homophobic, I learned that reading a book won't make you gay. Neither does watching Paris Is Burning, listening to Barbra Streisand or going to a gay club to dance or even hanging out with gay folks. One of my best friends was a lesbian. Hanging out with her didn't make me a lesbian.

I would go to visit her in Philadelphia and she'd show me around where she worked. A bookstore named Giovanni's Room. Pretty sure I even bought a book or two there...

Life makes you whatever you are and whatever you are as long as you're happy with what you have to be happy with, that that is about as good as it gets. There's no correspondence course that makes you gay any more than there's one that makes you straight. You just are. Be happy with that because its not likely you can change it like the sheets on the bed.

Everybody's journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many Americans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality.

~ James Baldwin
 

CACTUSWENDY

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We must all be true unto our own selves. Let the rest eat cake. :Hug2:
 

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I am who I am, I am different and whoever or whatever I turn out to be in life, I hope and wish to be respected for who I am.
Yay for Team Open-Minded!

I hope one day no one will give a toss to what your gender and sexual preferences are. We're not there yet, obviously.
It's fine for me to dress like a man. I'm even allowed to behave a bit like one. I can brag like the best of them! (Okay, probably not my best attribute :tongue)
I can be as feminine or as masculine as I want, and I can change from one day to another (and often do).

It's a lot more difficult for men to openly show feminine attributes.

Holy Shit! Gay sex? LEMME OUTTA HERE! :e2salute:
:ROFL: (Not mocking you, btw. That was just plain fun.)

Everybody's journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many Americans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality.

~ James Baldwin
Wow. I love that.
 

Diana Hignutt

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Max, my friend. I'm so proud of you. Being true to oneself is the greatest accomplishment in life, trying to live up to others' expectations is the biggest mistake others can make. Live your life as you see fit, for no one can die for you. You just be the best Max you can, and no one can fault you for it. Just be you. Cause that's who your real friends love anyway.

You have a bright, bright future ahead. I'm so happy for you. If there is a secret to life, you just found it.

I'm a little jealous of the new freedoms you just discovered.

And if there any bumps in the road, we're here for you.

D
 

kuwisdelu

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Darn, looks like we lost a lot of replies in the time warp. Eh, at least I think you remember how I feel! ;) :D
 

Diana Hignutt

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Darn, looks like we lost a lot of replies in the time warp. Eh, at least I think you remember how I feel! ;) :D

Yeah, my new reply isn't as good as the pretimewarp reply, but all the thoughts from the first one should be transplanted to my new one.
 

darkprincealain

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Max, I missed this thread in the first go-around, but I have a lot of respect for you.

It seems to me that a lot of that is a contest to see who can piss the farthest. And no one wins in those. Even the "winner" is urinating in public, and I was always taught that was a no-no. Don't let the world get you down.
 

Kitty27

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James Baldwin=G.O.A.T.

Max,Do YOU in all things:Hug2:. Being true to self makes life easier, happier and dare I say,FUN!
 

Rhoda Nightingale

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:nothing

My first reply was pretty short, but Max--you're still awesome. And bow ties are still cool. As you were!
 

thebloodfiend

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Wow. You sound like a character right out of my WIP. I'm sick of people saying that you have to be gay if you act a certain way or vice-versa. And that you can suddenly become gay by watching movies with gay characters or reading books with gay characters. Unfortunately, my parents believe that sort of thing. And I've had a real hard time trying to change my views.
 

Rufus Coppertop

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No, fezzes are definitely just a bit....well....:rant: Diana knows what I mean, don't you blossom?
 

Rufus Coppertop

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and felt more comfortable going to a party wearing a bowtie, suspenders and a jacket than simply shirts, jeans and hair on whatever fashion was going on (When I was a kid, I was mocked by other kids because I wanted to wear ties and tuxs on celebrations.

Sounds quite a bit like my MC.

If girls have the right to look as princesses, why boys don't have said right to look like princes?).
Indeed.

I am who I am, I am different
Sameness/normality are completely overrated and street cred can take a running jump.

and whoever or whatever I turn out to be in life, I hope and wish to be respected for who I am.
May it be so!
 
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maxmordon

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As are fezzes and stetsons.

My, who would say The Firesign Theater would become fashion icons?

2009-10-09-firesign02.jpg
 

Mr Flibble

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Sameness/normality are completely overrated and street cred can take a running jump.

Quoting my son when he was 10:

You know what? The really weird people are the ones who are utterly normal, because almost everyone's got something a bit weird about them. Weird is good! So if there's absolutely nothing weird about you, that makes you in the minority. And that makes you weird.
 
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