Kick-butt opening or no?

Dances With Words

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My genre is thriller/suspense, and I'm mulling over something I'd like input on. I was a member of a online critique group when I finished the first, rough draft of my first novel. The first chapter contained no murder or mayhem, just the MC silently standing at his office window (cop, police chief) thinking on the one case he hasn't solved, the murder of a young woman.

It was pretty well done, I thought. It gave a good hint of what was to come, but they hammered me with it. NO, they said, you need to hook the reader in the opening paragraph! We need to see some action, right off the bat! It's got to be exciting.

Ehhh, ok. I get the point. So I rewrote it and I'm pretty well pleased with the outcome, but I never liked it as much as the first. To me it wasn't as fresh or interesting as the original. One issue I had was these people were doing things and I haven't even introduced them. According to my group, they needed to be doing something right away.

So my question is, What do you like to see in the beginning of an action/suspense novel? How do you "hook" your reader? I just started the next one, but I'm still curious on what your views are.

I have trouble with this because I don't want to stop and have to introduce my characters and break up the flow, but if I open with an action sequence, I don't have much choice, the readers won't know who they are.
 

Magnanimoe

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I have trouble with this because I don't want to stop and have to introduce my characters and break up the flow, but if I open with an action sequence, I don't have much choice, the readers won't know who they are.

Agents aren't too fond of being thrown into the middle of some major dramatic event without context. The reader needs a sense of character and setting. Action without those is not suspenseful, it's just confusing. It's nice to have something happening to engage the reader, but you want them to invest in the MC and your world as quickly as possible.
 

Osulagh

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Agents aren't too fond of being thrown into the middle of some major dramatic event without context.

Ah, no. Sure, there's probably some agents who don't like this--like some readers. But like readers, they all have their own tastes. I suggest you don't group some agents as them all.


It's not about opening the book with action or excitement, but keeping the reader on the page with the first sentence, and the second, and the third, and further making them read. The hook is important for both agents and readers, but it doesn't have to be some action-blockbuster opening. Find things that are interesting, give the reader some movement and progression in the story at hand, and IMO you're good.

Your first opening sounds like we were all in his head talking about a lot of backstory. IMHO, not an opening, but an info-dump. Readers want the story; give it to them.

You're right. You shouldn't have to stop and introduce your character--or anything. But you can still have a high action sequence and bring the character to the reader without stopping anything. Characters are made by their actions. Their actions create the plot. Their interactions with the setting create the world.
 

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Well, without seeing your openings, I can't really venture which one I would personally like better. What is true is that your reader has to start caring about what's going on very fast, and while it's possible to do that without action, a well-written action scene will generally make a very good hook. So I'm not going to tell you your crit group was wrong. :)

I do want to address this:

I have trouble with this because I don't want to stop and have to introduce my characters and break up the flow, but if I open with an action sequence, I don't have much choice, the readers won't know who they are.

I think it's perfectly possible to give your readers enough of who your characters are in the middle of an action scene without breaking up the flow. How your characters react in tense situations can tell the reader a lot about them without having to interrupt the action at all. What do they notice? What worries them? Does their mind flash to other things, and if so, what? What choices do they make when they're not sure what will happen next?

Your more leisurely piece may well work as a beginning, but I don't think an action scene means all of your subtlety and character development has to get lost.
 

etherme

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It's not about opening the book with action or excitement, but keeping the reader on the page with the first sentence, and the second, and the third, and further making them read. The hook is important for both agents and readers, but it doesn't have to be some action-blockbuster opening. Find things that are interesting, give the reader some movement and progression in the story at hand, and IMO you're good.

This right here. Last year I had submitted to an agent who was kind enough to email me back a personal note: "This is interesting, but nothing BIG happens right away. Speed it up!"

I ended up cutting almost 20 pages of exposition (in the beginning) and it made all the difference in the world. Beginnings are about arousing the reader's curiosity to make them want to find out more!
 

Dances With Words

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Your first opening sounds like we were all in his head talking about a lot of backstory. IMHO, not an opening, but an info-dump. Readers want the story; give it to them.


I see what you mean, but no, the original didn't contain an info dump. Just a little introduction and mainly, his thinking on the failure thus far to find the killer. It was quiet, yet emotional. I wanted the reader to see his anger and frustration and his renewed vow to find the killer. But alas, it was changed and stands now, and one agent has requested the full manuscript.

The WIP, however, is more troubling to me. In the previous one, the bad guy was already bad, already a killer. He just moved to the area and started killing again.

The WIP has a guy who is in the process of becoming a bad guy, and I want to follow his story, let the reader see his motives and frustrations that lead him to where he is.

But the issue of how to start it troubled me, because there isn't a lot of action there. So I decided open the book with a flash-forward to a later time, when the bad guy is about to do something and we know the President is nearby, and our MC must stop bad thing from happening. We won't know until much later if he is successful. But I wrote that very short chapter, left it cliff-hanging, and then began the story to get those characters to that later place.

I just worry this is too gimmicky. I have seen in done before and while it seems a bit gimmicky to me, it also works in good hands. So, that's where I am.
 

Magnanimoe

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Ah, no. Sure, there's probably some agents who don't like this--like some readers. But like readers, they all have their own tastes. I suggest you don't group some agents as them all.

Fair enough. I should clarify by saying it's something I've seen agents commenting on in more than one blog lately. I regret speaking in absolute terms
 

Jamesaritchie

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Agents aren't too fond of being thrown into the middle of some major dramatic event without context. The reader needs a sense of character and setting. Action without those is not suspenseful, it's just confusing. It's nice to have something happening to engage the reader, but you want them to invest in the MC and your world as quickly as possible.

I'd say four out of five novels I read start exactly this way, so a lot of agents must love being thrown into the middle of major, dramatic events without context.

I do believe MC and setting should be as immediate as possible, but there no reason at all that a novel can't have both dramatic opening, and MC plus setting.

But some of my favorite novels, particular thrillers, often open thousands of miles away from MC and setting, usually with some dramatic, world changing event taking place.

Context is in the hands of the writer. If I blow up Air Force One in the first paragraph, readers are smart enough to know that a big story is coming, that the world just changed, and that someone is going to have to step up and stop the chaos. That someone is the MC.
 

blacbird

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I've read and enjoyed lot of some very fine mystery/thriller writers, and they employ a wide spectrum of openings. The best fit their openings to their stories, and that can vary even for an individual writer. What must happen, however, is that the opening engage the reader. Static scene description rarely accomplishes that.

Go look analytically at a bunch of books in the genre, and evaluate how the beginnings function.

caw
 

Wilde_at_heart

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..... the MC silently standing at his office window (cop, police chief) thinking

This, IMO, is a problem. Although we as writers deal with words, books are still a visual medium in the sense that words help the reader picture the scene. Maybe not everyone reads this way, but many do.

So a person staring out their window, thinking, is a static scene - in a visual sense, there is nothing going on.

By action, you don't necessary have to start in the midst of some crisis or a bomb going off, but it does still need to be interesting - the scene usually needs some movement, or the MC doing something.
 

ironmikezero

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A simple observation: we sometimes lose track of why we write.

If you're writing for the money, you'll have little choice but to pander to the masses - give them what they want (and will pay for, of course). This is the business; herein you'll find agents and publishing enterprises.

If you're writing for the love of it, you need only please yourself. Should anyone else find pleasure in reading your work, that's wonderful - but by no means a requirement. This is the art of the craft; herein you'll find artists.

If, in writing for the love of it, others find it so appealing that they insist upon paying for the privilege of reading your work... well, congratulations... Herein you'll find the successful artists, satisfied and comfortable within themselves.

But hold on - cannot the writer who panders to the masses be considered successful, even satisfied and comfortable? Possibly... In truth, each writer must decide upon one's personal definitions of satisfaction and comfort. After all, happiness will always be largely a matter of one's perception.

If you're not enjoying it, why are you doing it? Rhetorical perhaps, yet worthy of consideration...

The best guidance may well be to do what you love to the best of your ability. Please yourself first. Should it blossom into a career, you'll never regret it.

Whatever path you chose, or may yet choose, may you encounter the best of luck!
 
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onesecondglance

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"Action" doesn't necessarily mean explosions. It means something happening - something that drives the plot.

Staring out of the window doesn't sound like it drives the plot. But just adding a bunch of stuff blowing up for the sake of it won't drive the plot either. Start where the story starts!
 

Namatu

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"Action" doesn't necessarily mean explosions. It means something happening - something that drives the plot.

Staring out of the window doesn't sound like it drives the plot. But just adding a bunch of stuff blowing up for the sake of it won't drive the plot either. Start where the story starts!
Adding to this good advice: Keep in mind that where the author starts is not necessarily where the story starts and where the reader should start. That's part of why you'll see advice like "cut your first three chapters" and "start in the middle." The author always needs to know more than the reader. Figuring out the difference between those two points can be a challenge.
 

tko

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the million dollar question

The idea opening would blend suspense while establishing character, setting, and back-story in an unobtrusive way. But even in published works, only one in a hundred authors can do this.

You don't need action, but you do need tension, mystery, or the strong promise of such to come.

As others have said, pure action is boring. But unfocused character development isn't much better. You can't care about action until you know the person, but simple background isn't interesting w/a purpose. Nice to know he was a Vietnam sniper, but if he's at the grocery store buying dog food, who cares?

Figure out a way to put it all together, and you've got a winner.
 

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I definitely think a slow opening can be done well (as long as there is something to draw me in, a mystery, an incredible voice, etc) but I have read enough agents say that something should happen in the opening. That doesn't have to mean explosions or car chases, but generally not characters just musing about themselves.

Unfortunately, your beginning could be amazing but I think you are hurting yourself by using the kind of opening that many agents won't read beyond.

I googled "why agent stopped reading" and found this quote:
STARTING TOO SLOW
“Characters that are moving around doing little things, but essentially nothing. Washing dishes & thinking, staring out the window & thinking, tying shoes, thinking.”
Dan Lazar, Writers House
***


http://writerunboxed.com/2013/04/22/april/
 

Thomas Vail

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If your critique group hammered your opening, then that probably was a pretty good indicator that it did not work for them as well as it did for you. I'd say that there advice meant well, because in theory opening with action means there's something there to immediately grab the reader, but it's certainly not the only way to do it. You can open your book any way you can imagine, so long as you can do it well. :)

The problem as stated with your original idea is that as presented, even if it does present an important character moment is that it really does not seem engaging to someone just picking up the book.
 

Bergerac

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My genre is thriller/suspense, and I'm mulling over something I'd like input on. I was a member of a online critique group when I finished the first, rough draft of my first novel. The first chapter contained no murder or mayhem, just the MC silently standing at his office window (cop, police chief) thinking on the one case he hasn't solved, the murder of a young woman.

I started my last novel in exactly the way you describe, only the MC was driving down a highway as opposed to looking out an office window. My publisher asked if I could tighten it up just a bit and I complied. My original opening was 1 page long. The revision was 3/4 page.

A chapter of mulling something over? If my publisher hadn't shot me, my agent would have.

It doesn't matter how well written something is -- what you're describing is basically an expository info dump.

You need to get moving and talk on the way, exactly as if you've started a road trip with a friend. You don't stand around talking in the driveway after the SUV is loaded, gassed up and the engine idling, do you?

GET GOING, then dribble the background in, like road trip bathroom breaks.

When the action is in full swing, I can even get away with a weather report (since my setting is pretty spectacular) and I mean a 1 1/2 pages of a weather report. No one notices because things are going full steam ahead.
 

HistorySleuth

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Well Dances, maybe once you have 50 posts you can put it up in the Share Your Work forum and see what people think. It's hard to tell without reading the words.
 

jmichaelfavreau

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I think most people recommend action right off the bat because it has been done much and often so telling people this will give them a better shot. I think that being sucked into an interesting story right away is what people should really be told. Action or not, if you can suck me in I'll keep reading.
 

Dave Williams

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The "hook" is necessary in a newspaper story, or anything on television, because your reader or viewer can flip the page or punch the remote.

Your reader already bought your book, or at the very least made a trip to the library to get it. He has an investment in it. You can afford to take a little time to set things up, as long as you don't drag things along until you run out of slack.

If you decide to use a hook, remember it doesn't *have* to be a dramatic scene; it just has to be something to capture the reader's attention. You don't necessarily have to beat them over the head with it.
 

lexxi

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The "hook" is necessary in a newspaper story, or anything on television, because your reader or viewer can flip the page or punch the remote.

Your reader already bought your book, or at the very least made a trip to the library to get it. He has an investment in it. You can afford to take a little time to set things up, as long as you don't drag things along until you run out of slack.

You can't really count on that. The reader may be flipping through books in the bookstore or library (or virtual equivalent), deciding whether to buy/check out or put it back on the shelf, read the first page of several different books as well as yours to see which one grabs her.

In that case, if the first page is not engaging in some way, the reader won't make the investment to start with.

If you decide to use a hook, remember it doesn't *have* to be a dramatic scene; it just has to be something to capture the reader's attention. You don't necessarily have to beat them over the head with it.
This I thoroughly agree with. For me as a reader, what will usually grab me and make me commit to reading a book (and buying/borrowing in order to do so) is the narrative voice on the first page, along with whatever I already know about the premise from blurbs, reviews, word of mouth, etc.
A sense that the writing itself will be strong enough to keep me interested throughout the book.

And also some kind of question that is raised in the first page that makes me want to read on to page 2 and beyond to find the answer. Doesn't have to be a big mystery, doesn't have to be action-filled suspense -- just a sense that the author has (an) interesting character(s) in an interesting situation and that something interesting is happening or about to happen now.

An opening that's all backstory, no matter how well written, will generally make me put the book back on the shelf.