Fortunately...unfortunately

Nymtoc · Apr 20, 2015

...you find yourself face-to-face with an angry orangutan. Fortunately...

shakeysix · Apr 21, 2015

you have a banana in your pocket. Unfortunately...

lizo27 · Apr 21, 2015

You're wearing skinny jeans, and there's no way that banana is coming out of your pocket. Fortunately. . .

shakeysix · Apr 21, 2015

It's not that kind of banana. Unfortunately...

Nymtoc · Apr 21, 2015

...the orangutan takes an up-close and personal interest in it anyway. Fortunately...

shakeysix · Apr 21, 2015

She is distracted by the yellow fire extinguisher. Unfortunately ...

Nymtoc · Apr 21, 2015

...while the orangutan is preoccupied, you hear a rumbling sound, and you turn and see a black rhino charging straight at you. Fortunately...

shakeysix · Apr 21, 2015

Just that morning your elderly Tibetan neighbors had asked you to drop by the Asian Market and pick up a paper of finely ground rhino horn for them. Unfortunately...

Nymtoc · Apr 21, 2015

...this black rhino is a protected species--and he knows it--so he gives a deep, mocking laugh and keeps charging. Fortunately,

shakeysix · Apr 21, 2015

You are wearing your Depends today. Unfortunately...

Nymtoc · Apr 21, 2015

...your elderly Tibetan neighbors are getting impatient, so they phone you, and the ringing of the phone (your ringtone is a song by Paris Hilton) causes you to freak out, with the rhino only inches away. Fortunately...

lizo27 · Apr 22, 2015

The Paris Hilton song is just the music to soothe the savage beast, and the rhino is momentarily entranced. Unfortunately. . .

jaus tail · Apr 22, 2015

he is also aroused and is circling you, giving you a few nudges with his horn. Fortunately,

shakeysix · Apr 22, 2015

You have your nail file handy and coax the nuzzly rhino into letting you file a couple teaspoons of powder from his horn while pretending to give him noogies. Unfortunately...

Nymtoc · Apr 22, 2015

...uniformed men pull up in a humvee, accuse you of violating laws against harming rhinos, throw you into their vehicle and head for the police station. Fortunately...

shakeysix · Apr 22, 2015

One of the officers is having a hell of a time with gout and typhoid fever, so you mix up a powdered rhino horn potion. Unfortunately..

Nymtoc · Apr 23, 2015

...the officer drinks the rhino horn potion and promptly turns purple and dies (some allergies are like that). The other officers put you in restraints and continue to the police station, where you are charged with murder. Fortunately...

shakeysix · Apr 23, 2015

A bystander with a phone camera has filmed the whole incident. He sends the video to PETA instantly inflaming rhino lovers world wide. Unfortunately...

CDSinex · Apr 23, 2015

their ire is aimed mostly at you. Fortunately...

Nymtoc · Apr 23, 2015

...the prisoner in the next cell slips a message through a crack in the wall. It reads, "I know how we can bust out of here." Unfortunately...

shakeysix · Apr 23, 2015

He is a raving lunatic who believes that he must consume a warm human liver to remain immortal. Fortunately...

Nymtoc · Apr 23, 2015

...you filch some Spam from a supply cart and moosh it around and heat it up so he'll think it's liver. You give it to him hoping that he'll show you how to escape from jail. Unfortunately...

jaus tail · Apr 23, 2015

the jail guard snatches the spam, eats it and farts fire. All guards blame you for it. Fortunately,

CDSinex · Apr 27, 2015

I think this should be "Fortunately,..."

the fire prompts the guards to evacuate the jail. In the confusion you manage to, yet again, escape and run into the nearby forest. Unfortunately...

shakeysix · Apr 27, 2015

Bigfoot Bob has set up a pit trap hoping to snag a swear to god Yeti. Unfortunately...

Fortunately...unfortunately

Benefactor Member

blue eyed floozy

Speshul snowflake

blue eyed floozy

Benefactor Member

blue eyed floozy

Benefactor Member

blue eyed floozy

Benefactor Member

blue eyed floozy

Benefactor Member

Speshul snowflake

blue eyed floozy

Benefactor Member

blue eyed floozy

Benefactor Member

blue eyed floozy

Imagine something clever here.

Benefactor Member

blue eyed floozy

Benefactor Member

Imagine something clever here.

blue eyed floozy