Last goes first:

Beach would look beautiful tonight, if it weren't for all those ignorant armies.

Ignorant armies are tracking all over my freshly waxed darkling plain! --s6

Plain English is hard to find in scholarly writing.

Writing demands a complex skill set of thought, linguistic ability and talent, with some commercial savvy in the mix.

Mix metaphors at your own risk.

Risk being ridiculed if you participate in this thread.

Threadgood is a wonderful name for a fictional family but who could dream up a better name than Fannie Flagg?

Flagging, she pedaled up the steep incline until her desire to crest the hill gave way to inertia.

Inertia and her sister Apathy are not much fun to play with.

With that, he proceeded to attempt to work the ping pong ball up his nose.

"Nose and throat is where you should specialize in medicine" he said, but no, I had to go and choose toes.

Toes? Ten fine ones to wiggle in the sand. --s6

Sand stretches from one side of the screen to the other during that dramatic shot in Lawrence of Arabia when Omar Sharif makes a long, slow entrance from a mirage.

Mirage! That's all you are to me! --s6

Me and my friend are going to build a ridiculously long sentence (ok, maybe not that long) with lots of commas ,,,,,,, and chocolate cake and bifurcation and head cheese and blood sausage and we're going to end with a preposition to (yeah, I know it ain't spelled right).

Right intentions do not supercede bad grammar, and the sentence written by the previous poster is deplorable.

Deplorable makes me wonder what is plorable.

Plorable writing is so bad it makes you want to weep.

Weep not, my fine-feathered friend.

"Friend" is a word that is often used very loosely, meaning anything from a bosom buddy to someone you just met yesterday.

Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away ... but then effing Monday morning rolled around--s6

Around and around and around she goes, and where she stops, nobody can imagine.

Imagine a world where lunatics could not get their hands on guns. Some may call me a dreamer--s6

Dreamer or not, a writer should respect his readers.

*montage*

His readers lost all respect when he imagined a lunatic world where nobody wept over deplorably long sentences and never waxed their guns with sandy toes on loosely effed Mondays.