Dear book

Cyia said:

Dear Book,

Why do you insist on sounding awesome in my head, and then not being so awesome when I put you in written format? It's not funny.

I don't appreciate the stress, and I'm putting you on notice that if you don't get yourself together, I have no problem applying the delete key to large swaths of your person.

You've dawdled for two months, and refused to incorporate any of the hundred and fifty thousand words written in that time. I've had it. Don't make me resort to "and then a rock fell off a mountain and everyone died, THE END."

I'll do it...

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I think there's still a space on the On Notice Board under "grizzly bears." You can probably borrow it if you want.

Dear Book,

You suck.

All my love,
q

Dear Book,

I wrote you. I edited and reedited and rewrote you. For 3 years I remained devoted to you with mere short stories to provide me solace and comfort. I've sent you to agents, presented you to publishers, and queried about you. You've been well-received by agents, publishers, and betas, but still you won't sell yourself for me. You seem determined to avoid returning the love I've given you in the only way you possibly could.

So, I'm forced to keep you on the street until you sell yourself for me. At some point you have to give in and accept that this is your fate. I still love you, but I have to move on and you have to do what you do best. I have other loves that require my attention until their turn comes to be put out on the street as well. Never forget, however, that you were my first and I still love you. I just can't bear the sight of you these days.

Respectfully,
GW

Dear Book,

You and I both know which scenes are vital to the plot and which ones are just there for our own amusement. Let's keep it that way, shall we?

Love,
Me

Dear WIP,
Why can't we get it right? I know, endings are hard for us both, but I thought we could work it out this time. I thought you wanted everything to end. I thought we could be adult about this and tie up those loose ends. Instead, I see you wandering off into those uncharted territories where the story doesn't go and the characters are puzzled by their own behavior. Don't drag this out any longer - let's end it properly now, while there's still love.
Respectfully,
Me

Dear book,

Are we there yet? Are we there yet? How 'bout now? Are we there yet?

Dear book

Why do you keep stalling? I want to add more words, finish the chapter. Don't be so difficult. I have time later today - let's call it a date

XO

mirandashell said:

You're looking thin. I need, really really need, to fatten you a bit. Give me a clue what you need. Talk to me. Stop sitting there, staring at me.

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Dear author,

I'm sorry but I don't know your name because I'm pacing my constraints, STARVING for lack of character interaction. You've given me these wonderful characters to play with but you won't take your hands off them and let me play too.

Please share. I promise you I will grow robust and callypigious!

heyjude said:

Oh dear heaven. Somehow we attracted quickWit... is this a first for MTS?

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If I tell, it wouldn't be much of a mystery, now would it?

Dear Book,

I should have written you when I stayed at the little-known village of Theory. Because in Theory, all books are easy to write.

-cb

Ruv Draba said:

Dear author,

I'm sorry but I don't know your name because I'm pacing my constraints, STARVING for lack of character interaction. You've given me these wonderful characters to play with but you won't take your hands off them and let me play too.

Please share. I promise you I will grow robust and callypigious!

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BLAH! Don't you give me that! I want you to play. Play damn it!

Dear Book,

I'm sick. Leave me alone.

Dear Book,

Dale, we've got a problem. I know, I know. It's not just your fault. It's everyone. But you're the one in charge. You're the one telling this thing, so you need to understand something: It does me no good when you keep insisting on telling me your awesome lines while I'm far from a piece of paper or computer!

It's not like I have a lot of time right now, so get with it. If I've got ten minutes at the computer, hit me with it then. Not when I'm covered in paint and can't get to a pen. Thank you.

Dear Exile,

I say it more than qualifies. Besides, we want to know! Post away!

Love,

Mama Jude

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Does that mean I could perhaps squeeze in as well? It would be heartening, indeed. (if not, feel free to delete)

dear 1/3 finished tale,
I don't know how you were produced from the suds and bubbles of my new kitchen sink, but somehow, you were. The day was hot, and I was sick of scrubbing dishes while everyone else went to and fro, unloading, unpacking. Moving is hard, but from it came you; dare I complain? You have brought me more joy and buoyancy than words can describe... although you've also brought me more tears, more solitary hours alone, slowly weaving you, only hoping that you might bring the joy and grief to others that you have brought to me- a beautiful gift, for which I thank you.

And while you have brought me all that, I still selfishly ask for more. I ask that you would dispatch my commands with promptness, not your usual pace- it is making me weary! I ask that you grow darker- yes, you heard me; I ask that you grow darker and more hopeless so that the light that shall be brought about shall be all the more brilliant. I ask that you continue to write yourself with your usual grace and beauty-- ah! There I give you more credit than is due... my Father is to whom that is due. although really, everything you do good at is because of him. seriously.

Unfinished tale, I also ask of you that you stop bragging and humble yourself, for as I have just mentioned, you give yourself FAR too much credit.. you're really not that great.. perhaps one day when you are actually read the truth regarding your "greatness" shall be revealed (though I dare say it shan't be as glorious as you would like to think).

dear book, I ask that you keep going!! the last paragraph was bad, admit it. dear book, learn how to use the internet and research wolves so you can get a better grasp on them.. so you can actually depict the way the light shines on their yellow eyes..



dear book, please don't stop. please keep teaching me. dear book, please keep going.

with love,
kat

Dear book,

I miss you. I know we've only been apart for 2 weeks now, but Stephen King says you need to stay in that drawer for at least 6. But absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? Right?

Love,

COchick

Oh, absolutely! Everyone's welcome here. What genre do you write? Sounds like you love it, which is fantastic!

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Oh, why thank you!

I write fantasy, which I just love. love love love. From the time I began to read fantasy I loved it... so it's insane to think that I'm writing something that I love that maybe someone else will love and then they'll write a book (which maybe I'll love) and round and round it goes! haha. I love the fact that when I write, I have full control! haha! I also love the fact that I've woven bits of poetry in.. poetry is so.. ineffable!

Dear Book,

I've got such a crush on you now

Dear Book,

Don't go anywhere. I'll be back. Eventually.

Dear book,

I know your a NaNoWriMo novel but jeeeezzzz would you get to the point already?

Dear WIP,

Please tell your friends, the other potential WIP rattling around in my head to wait their turn. This random mixing of plotlines from one story and characters from another has got to stop.



Laura

Dear Book,

Please don't start going all short-choppy-chapters on me. It makes editors cry.

Dear book.
Stop being so damn accurate with your AR15s and your Glocks and your bullet descriptions and realistic penetrations. You're making it all seem too feasible. You're giving me ideas, and it should be the other way round.