Scottish insults

Scottish is not entirely one language, in that there are local variations in what might be considered insulting (in the same way that insults in England vary hugely by region).

That said, one term equivalent to wanker that my Edinburgh friend is fond of using is bawbag.

Numpty would be a loveable idiot. If you want unlovable crazy try nutjob.

(While I'm English, I lived in Scotland for nearly 10 years so I have some familiarity with the language).

Numptie?
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=numptie

Having watched numerous episodes of 'Taggert' He used to call everybody a "Dinderhid" which I guess translated into English is a "Dunderhead"

I think they still use "cadger" for a bum, right?

They say 'wanker' in Scotland too.

I always liked 'he's got a big schwally...' as in a grand capacity for alcohol....'line them up barman.'

Not such an insult I suppose. Also the second Scottish person I met had never heard of this expression...so, so. I use it on my wife, she reels every time eggc...

Otherwise there is 'bampot' and oh I dunno Scots authors always bang on about their special dialect, I'd leave them to it.

Nothing beats 'Oor Willie.' God bless Scotland, <sniff>.

D. Cameron, esq

Until a year ago I used to work with a bloke originally from Edinburgh, who was in his late 30s/early 40s. He generally didn't come out with too many Scottishisms (a shame, as I also regularly declared my undying love for his accent!) as most Sassenachs at work would just look at him and think ?????

For idiot he'd sometimes say bampot or heid the bawl (head the ball) or tube for stupid. Numpty has been rife in northern England for a fair few years now so he was safe with that one. He'd also refer to a contemptible person as a wee jobby (jobby = poo).

Mind you, I know he went to university in Glasgow, and their slang is the best ever (I wanted to go to university there, but didn't revise for my A levels so ended up at Manchester). Some of his occasional tartan lingo (absolutely brilliant words/phrases, but not what you're after) might therefore have been from the other end of the M8.

Fanny
Fannyballs
Fud
Bawbag
eejit
bampot (usuay said as fucking bam)
dead banger
bang tidy slut

You can also watch a few episodes of Chewing the Fat.

oceansoul beat me to it.

Another suggestion for crazy, though, would be "mental." Or "Off your/their nut."

Koschei said:

oceansoul beat me to it.

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I really enjoyed posting that string on a public forum.

oceansoul said:

I really enjoyed posting that string on a public forum.

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It's a very comprehensive list.

I'm half Scottish. I would stick with wanker, totally- Crazy would be "nutter" or if you want to make it extreme "off his or her heed"

I had to google the spelling, but glaikit means stupid/idiot. I remember that one from watching Rab C Nesbitt, so it might be a Glaswegian-ism instead.

My perfect man is Nestor Carbonell with Rab C Nesbitt's accent, btw.

Two I was told by someone who lived near Edinburgh was

Stitch that Jimmie/pal (Can yer mither sew? <headbutt> Well stitch that Jimmie)

Or "See you pal" (As in see you later/outside to settle this with fists.)

Not for wanker but for general threats - might come in useful somewhere else.

And in Edinburgh women tend to be address as "pet" or "hen" by strangers - so bus drivers, taxi drivers etc.

Hey, I practically AM your main character. I'm 30, come from middle-class family and used to live in Edinburgh, now just an hour away.
For crazy I'd just use "mental" or "total nutter" or "nutjob".
For wanker you could just use that word, people use it in Scotland as well as England. Or if you want something particularly Scottish you could use "fanny" or "fud" as suggested above. Hope this helps!

oceansoul said:

Fanny
Fannyballs
Fud
Bawbag
eejit
bampot (usuay said as fucking bam)
dead banger
bang tidy slut

You can also watch a few episodes of Chewing the Fat.

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All of the above plus

Heidthebaw
numptie

They might also say 'Yer heids fu' o' mince.'

for younger kids, they might call somebody a jobbie or a shite

Wouldn't the deepest insult a Scot could use be: "Englishman!"?

Deb Kinnard said:

Wouldn't the deepest insult a Scot could use be: "Englishman!"?

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Nope.

I stand corrected, then. While in Wales, I heard quite a few "dumb Englishman" jokes. Wondered if it might be the same in Scotland.

Shilpit wee nyaff.

I'd vote for 'bampot'.

The best Scottish insult I ever heard was 'He'd eat the poultice off a scabby boy's head'.

Any insult sounds good in a Scottish (preferably Glaswegian) accent.

Swoon...

Incidentally, as a Sassanach I've never encountered anything other than a friendly welcome north of the border. (North) Wales was a whole different matter, and on more than one occasion. Saying that, my cousins are from South Wales and say they get the same treatment in the north.

Pop onto YouTube and have a look for Chewing the Fat, Burnistoun and Still Game. All are comedy shows but there are plenty of insults in them to keep you ticking over.

While it's a bit more lower class than middle class, have a skim through Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh for a good idea of the vernacular. 'Cunt' can be used a lot (both as an insult and as a term of affection) but I understand that despite HBOs best efforts, that's a step too far for American audiences.

Read Trainspotting or Flith by Irvine Welsh. Basically every phrase uttered is an insult.