TALK TO LADY JAY (naughty bits)

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auntybug

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Nothing has changed. Including Cray's Diapers

Pathetic. I changed him before I left. You people can't do anything. You'll have to get "on the ball" (I slay me). I'll be in that area early Sept. He's sure to have an accident. :D

Not sure if we'll make it your way or not... have SWAT on speed dial "just in cases". :)
 

Jaycinth

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Pathetic. I changed him before I left. You people can't do anything. You'll have to get "on the ball" (I slay me). I'll be in that area early Sept. He's sure to have an accident. :D

Not sure if we'll make it your way or not... have SWAT on speed dial "just in cases". :)

You are freaking hard to stalk, woman!!!
 

cray

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dear lady jay,

day 2 and they still want me to come to canada and this is after i cursed at someone in protest!

canada.


this ain't right.


srsly. i do not want to go to canada to 'speak to the team' when i can easily speak to the team on the phone. right?
i'm right, aren't i?


jaycinth, dawwwgs knows i don't ask you for much but i am asking that you move heaven and earth to make this right.
and by 'right' i mean make it so i don't have to go to canada in december.



i'll wait for a sign.









thank you and good day.



bllurve,


cray
 

GailD

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Going to Canada? In December? Isn't that like against all laws of common sense and decency and stuff? What kind of company would make anyone do that?



*waits to see what Lady Jay will say*
:popcorn:
 

Jaycinth

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Dear Cray,

How could you say those hateful and insensitive things about Canada?

Believe me when I type this:

The MAYOR OF TORONTO HAS FULL FAITH IN YOU.

He is embattled. His TV show was cancelled. Hooters won't let him in.


No self respecting meth dealer on the East Coast of North America will do business with him.


Walter White closed his very profitable business and went into hiding as a typical middle class suburban dad, just to avoid doing business in Toronto.

Cray: It is time for you to put on your stocking and pull up your 'Big Boy' thong. Put your fragile ego aside, and don't take crap from the fudgebunnies.

Just load your trunk up with 6 cases Negro Modelo, and drive!

Drive to Toronto like there is no tomorrow and tell the Mayor that you care.





Wear a hockey mask and padding, because it is cold in Toronto in July.
 
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cray

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i'm not going to lie, jaycinth,....

this is less than helpful.
 

Cella

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Cray doesn't have to go, I say.



Or, rather...I would say, if yanno......well, we've been over that.
 

PorterStarrByrd

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Cray ... Pathetic. He's sure to have an accident. :D

:)

I think he's got a Philadelphia accident

Going to Canada? In December? Isn't that like against all laws of common sense and decency and stuff? What kind of company would make anyone do that?


Sshhh It's Cray who is being sent

i'm not going to lie, jaycinth,....

this is less than helpful.

Cray who thunders like battery in teapot just doesn't display the fortitude of someone who should have to be allowed to spend the entire winter in the city of brotherly love or the dive on the Delaware so he might not understand how lucky he is to live in that dump unless he goes someplace where mountee means something different than it does in his neighborhood and there is always snow covered ice and stuff every day that you wake up and probably some others too probably and the maple sap is hiding under the ground to stay warm until it gets past the time when you have to walk in those big webby shoes and stuff because
 

Jaycinth

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I think he's got a Philadelphia accident




Sshhh It's Cray who is being sent



Cray who thunders like battery in teapot just doesn't display the fortitude of someone who should have to be allowed to spend the entire winter in the city of brotherly love or the dive on the Delaware so he might not understand how lucky he is to live in that dump unless he goes someplace where mountee means something different than it does in his neighborhood and there is always snow covered ice and stuff every day that you wake up and probably some others too probably and the maple sap is hiding under the ground to stay warm until it gets past the time when you have to walk in those big webby shoes and stuff because
...Canada...my Canadaaaaaaaa
 

PorterStarrByrd

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nous vous gardez or something because

How did that closing the borders after he gets there agreement thing work, Haggis?
 

PorterStarrByrd

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Looks like we made hell of a trade for cray since Im seeing all of the new or returning banned posters or somebody or did someone leave there door open or fix the welcome sign or is Mel cooking up a fresh batch of chicken lungs any one of witch could draw strangers or relative strangers or relatives strangers or relatives of strangers in here to the bar or something who I would welcome if I was sure that mother would be proud of the new company I might keep if I did something like that and all because
 
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cray

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dear lady jay,

did it ever occur to them that michael bolton songs might slow sales as opposed to boosting them?


*waits for answer*

*checks watch*


gah!
follow up question: why didn't it occur to honda that actually seeing michael bolton in the commercial singing michael bolton songs would make people by a toyota?
 
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cray

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dear lady jay,

i’m in a bit of a situation here and i could really use some advice. fast.

so, it’s just me and the dog home right now. actually, most days it’s just me and the dog.

we do our thing. yanno, i sit at my desk and work and she goes outside and does nothing. or she goes outside and stares at a blade of grass or a leaf and then barks at it if it moves. the other thing she does…..oh, btw, her name is lila…..
anyway, the other thing that lila does is come look at me every 15 to 16 minutes. yanno, just to make sure i’m still in the same exact spot. it’s fun.

sometimes she looks at me and walks away to look after the leaves and then other times she looks at me and comes over for a good scratching. i scratch all around her ears and then i do the belly for a while. she loves it. i swear she’s smiling the whole time!!

anyway, when i’m done she goes to walk away and i say things like, ‘who’s a good girl?’ or ‘are you going to get the squirrels? go get ‘em,…go get ‘em!!!”
and then i like to do this thing where i pretend to grab her tail as she turns to walk away. yanno, so she feels like i’m going to prevent her from going to get the squirrels or the grass or whatever. it’s funny as hell. i grab her tail really lightly, never really gripping it and say, ‘you’re not going anywhwere, are you? hmm, are you??’

:roll: :roll: :roll:

it’s super hilarious because i really don’t hold on at all. she just walks away. she thinks i have a lousy grip, i bet.

anyway, about 30 minutes ago she came into the office to make sure i was still looking at the computer (which i was) and then came over for a nice scratchy scratch. and guess what? yep,…when she went to walk away i did the funny fake tail grab thing! except something happen this time that has never happened before….

umm, yea, so as i went to faux grab her tail i grabbed to close to the base and my little finger brushed against her anus.

it’s been really super awkward around here ever since. really awkward.
as i mentioned this was 30 min ago and i haven’t seen her since.
normally she stops by every 15 minutes.

help!!! i have no idea how to fix this.


what’s more, mrs. cray will be home in like 10 minutes and i’d bet my life that she’s going to pick up on the awkwardness between me and lila right away.
fark.

yours,

cray


p.s. full disclosure: i may have misled you when i said my finger ‘brushed’ her anus.
i really mean that it got hung up there on if you know what i’m saying.
it wasn’t a full on ‘finger popping’ but again,…well yanno. anyway, this is weird.
 

CassandraW

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Dear cray:

Since Lady Jay is busy teaching Quickbooks to some sweet, dim, mustachioed lady at the moment, I thought I'd step in to help you out.

Lila is probably upset because you didn't use lube or even give her a friendly warning before you breached her anus. The next time you go to "grab her tail," be sure you have some ky handy. And remember, it's always best to ask first -- we don't all like surprises.

Hope this helps.

Cass
 
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