25 Reasons I Hate Your Main Character

Roxxsmom said:

I really wanted to link to it for a friend on another writing site who asked how to write from the pov of the opposite sex, because it was hilarious (an AW member wrote a short scene from the pov of a guy, with lots of exaggerated awareness of and references to his junk during a space battle), but heck if I can find it now.

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I am so sad that this is missing from my life.

I seem to remember rather liking Catcher in the Rye but I was probably about 15 whan I read it.

I *have* a buzz cut.

kuwisdelu said:

I don't like buzz cuts either.

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Me neither. Reminds me of the haircut worn by the football players back in my highschool days. I hung out with the artsy types, when I hung out with anyone

PeteMC said:

I *have* a buzz cut.

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You jock, you!

Roxxsmom said:

You jock, you!

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Heh, these days it's more of a "balding middle aged guy" thing

Roxxsmom said:

I really wanted to link to it for a friend on another writing site who asked how to write from the pov of the opposite sex, because it was hilarious (an AW member wrote a short scene from the pov of a guy, with lots of exaggerated awareness of and references to his junk during a space battle), but heck if I can find it now.

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I think I recall that thread

Wasn't there something about him checking his junk and thinking about how perky it looked? Plus lovingly running a hand over it while he contemplated its heaviness? And would she like it like this and...

Mr Flibble said:

I think I recall that thread

Wasn't there something about him checking his junk and thinking about how perky it looked? Plus lovingly running a hand over it while he contemplated its heaviness? And would she like it like this and...

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Do- do other guys not do this?

PeteMC said:

Heh, these days it's more of a "balding middle aged guy" thing

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I've been wondering when my husband will decide to go that route.

Then I'll learn to love them

Mr Flibble said:

I think I recall that thread

Wasn't there something about him checking his junk and thinking about how perky it looked? Plus lovingly running a hand over it while he contemplated its heaviness? And would she like it like this and...

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Darn it, it might be the same one. I want to bookmark it to share every time that question comes up in a thread, before it gets beaten to the point where everyone goes home mad at each other.

I just remembered -- that thread or one very like it caused me to write this (Note if you are of delicate sensibilities, you may wish to avert your eyes)

Clint ran a loving hand over his nipples, tweaked them, so they stood erect and proud from the manly ring of dark hair that surrounded the areolae. The mirror seemed to enlarge them so they stood out like organ stoppers. One hand ran lazily down his side, over the ripped abdomen, to his taut, pouting buttocks before he assessed his junk.

Testicles round and manly, cock full and ready, skin as soft and smooth as he could get it. He cupped his balls and noted how sensuous they looked. They weren’t yet starting to sag – but it wouldn’t be long before he could no longer get away without wearing a hammock to stop the unattractive droop. What woman wanted a man with drooping balls? Still, they were perky enough for now. Pubic hair freshly permed, waxed, washed and perfumed. A tweezer grabbed a stray hair. A dab of rouge just so, on with the skimpy new loincloth that only just covered his vitals and he was ready. He hoped she’d approve. Did this loincloth make his dick look small?

ETA: I think I may have to finish the story I started here. Clint ends up accosted by three women in an alley and accused of being a clit-tease.

Bwahahahaha! That's awesome! But permed though? Any curlier and...never mind.

It's an aid to the natural curl!

(Shameless Red Dwarf quote)

Gotta love a bit of Red Dwarf.


Smeeeeeeeg....

Sadly, yes, the woman contemplating herself such is all too bloody common


(And I know, I couldn't resist smutting it up though!)

Mr Flibble said:

ETA: I think I may have to finish the story I started here. Clint ends up accosted by three women in an alley and accused of being a clit-tease.

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This isn't the scene I was thinking of (that was the one that took place on a space ship and had the protag taking a standing up leak and thinking about his junk and how glad he could pee standing up) during a space battle. It was in a thread where someone had asked about writing opposite-sex characters.

But it's hilarious nonetheless. Though I remember your original post on this mentioning something about his manhood standing out like the trunk of an alert elephant or something.

And I think that a heroine should come along and rescue Clint the clit tease from the pack of wild women and mock him with her sardonic smile and insolent eyes as she lectures him about how foolish it is for a handsome young man to walk the streets alone in this neighborhood.

kuwisdelu said:

Lost me at #1 and #2.

I actually like passive, reactive characters.

So fuck you.

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I do, too. Sometimes having events roll over an MC and having them struggle just to stay afloat can make for interesting reading.

I had to Google who this Chuck Wendig person was and why I should give a shit if he likes my characters or not.