Greetings, potential minions!

Today I, the brilliant Dr Dinosaur, am at last poised to take over the world! Using the force of my incredible genius, I have traveled through time from my own, incomparably wonderful era to this pathetic time, where you puny mammals think that you rule the world.

You think that, but that is not so! For I, Dr Dinosaur, am in fact in charge of everything!

Previously, I have exerted my influence in secret, controlling the minds of the deluded mammals who thought that they had invented all of the clever things of this world. Computers? Cars? Chocolate? Pah! All of these things were originally my ideas, but using the power of crystals, I beamed them into the brains of the people who then followed my plans and brought them into being. It is only a poor delusion of your tiny minds that the works of your civilization are your own.

Well, except for the serial comma. You did that on your own. Long story. Do not ask.

But now it is time for me to declare myself, and step into my rightful place as the ruler of this world. It will be tiresome, controlling all of these poor puny mammals. So! I propose to make this rulership easier upon myself by enlisting minions!

The first steps of my cunning plan are already in place. I have infiltrated this writing site and suborned the most suitable of the moderators. Chickens are practically dinosaurs anyway, so it was simplicity itself to use the power of my crystals to control this "evilrooster". It is now time for me to collect a suitable set of followers who will obey my every order.

I will not lie. You may die in my service, and if you do I will be only a little sad.

But if you survive, perhaps I will share with you a little of the power of my crystals. And I may beam a clever story idea into your brains, because I hear that you writers like having story ideas. (But if you publish it you have to share the money! For it was my idea and that is what is important!)

So tell me, poor pathetic mammal creatures, do you feel yourselves worthy to become my minions? Do not be too shy, for although my genius entitles me to the very best army of mind-controlled slaves, I am willing to settle for whatever potential you may have. And if any of you are brave enough to ask to become my henchmen, I will listen to your petition.

For I am Dr Dinosaur, time-traveling genius scientist, controller of crystals and hidden master of the world! Join me!

(And if you do not then I will know that you are my enemies, and I will be cross with you. You will not like that.)

Some of you do not have a very respectful attitude.

For that, I will not make the foolish "King" Neptune (what is he king of, anyway? perhaps he is king of a kitchen, with his garlic and his gravy) and Thothguard my minions. And Alessandra Kelly is not wise with her talk of plucking. I will control your minds with crystals, and you will be the cannon fodder of my great war.

Nyram, you may be my henchcreature. If you serve me well, I will reveal to you the secrets of my genius. You will not understand them, for I am a genius, but you may at least marvel at them.

Wh--what happened? And what are these shards of crystal all around me?

Did...did I miss something?

Albedo said:

Lots and lots of wine?

Click to expand...

Well, I appear to be missing a certain amount of alcohol, but that's not quite the same thing.