Not directing this at anyone or anything in particular, but it's interesting to me that the thread opened with quotes from two YA authors and yet we've sort of moved into discussing erotica. Or perhaps I'm just imagining it to make my point. (Sorry for the blathering.)
It really, really pisses me off that lesbianism is automatically sexualised. Not just in the 'obvious' sense that it's "two girls having sex" (although of course it's not always - it's like being asexual is actually a thing, wow!), but the (very few) f/f relationships I've read seem to fall into two categories - very explicit stuff and incredibly PG stuff, nary a mention of bras, let alone vaginas. I've read YA m/f and m/m rape scenes with more details and that's seriously wrong. *shudder*
I will admit that I don't particularly like sex scenes - they just don't interest me - but they definitely have their place, so I don't mean to speak from any voice of authority AT ALL, but explicit f/f scenes make me uncomfortable only in the (wrong) context that I'm so used to seeing the female body sexualised for "masculine" pleasure - descriptions of how turned on the female characters are, very delicate gasping/moaning etc. - that I'm far more critical of them (and m/f, to be fair) than I am a m/m scene because I find it so hard to imagine somebody writing for a female reader and not for the male gaze. I want there to be more f/f relationships, and it galls me that all the 'iconic' pairs seem to be male (where are my tragic wonderful lesbians? where are they?) but I can't get away from the media lens.
There is a massive double standard. M/m YA books are more likely to be praised for their beautiful love stories; f/f YA books are most likely, at best, to be praised for their "brave representation." It's a complex issue, but I think it also stems from how much more generally acceptable the male body is. YA novels are constantly tearing off shirts, examining chests (as well as shoulders, ankles and just about every other part of the body you could conceive of), and describing penises (not explicitly, but I've read tons of descriptions of guys jerking off or getting hard - ugh) but the female body is nowhere to be seen. You'd think we all had smooth, sweet-smelling marble under our clothes, and nothing else. Also, as sad as it is to say, girls tend to have hella internalised poison about their bodies - describing ripped abs and swelling muscles is a fantasy, but rock-hard female abs are a sad failed comparison, slutty or pornographic.
[/incoherent rambling]