Transgender teen commits suicide, leaves note on Tumblr

Signed and shared - Facebook and Tumblr.

I feel so incredibly sad about this. I actually feel a bit triggered. You think you can never escape your vile bastard parents. You think life will never get better. You just want to die to get away from their evil grip. I wish she would have thought of the alternative... To just walk away from them like I did. But your world is so small at that age. You don't believe you can save yourself from the people who should love and support you but don't. I've been crying over this wasted life. And trying not to hate her bastard parents to death...

Apparently one "journalist", and I use the term loosely, believes that if we cared about trans lives, we'd stop sharing Leelah's suicide note because it's going to make her a martyr and and encourage several other trans youths to committ suicide if it'll get them noticed...

http://www.donotlink.com/d20t

But when it comes to suicide, reporting can be a matter of life and death. “Copycat suicides” – in which individuals with an underlying vulnerability imitate suicidal actions from media reports – are a real and documented phenomenon.

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The sheer volume of reporting means that Alcorn has herself been made famous through death. There couldn’t really be a more compelling prospectus for copycats. The message an unhappy, isolated trans kid can take away from this is that death will bring you all the validation you’re missing in life. Your last words will be republished around the world and your parents will be punished for their failure to understand you. The reports even include a proven method you can follow.

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By all means, the loss of one life is but a drop in the big bucket of the world, but let's not infamize her to encourage others to take their lives. Nooooo. Because the lesson here to teach isn't about accepting people as they are, it's to bury it deep down, away from the media, because the obvious reaction from the public is to think "I can make a name for myself in death too."

And let's not forget the parents...

And there’s another disturbing aspect to the public reaction: Alcorn’s parents, and specifically her mother, have been directly harassed by those who blame them for the death of their child. It is hard to imagine much worse that burying a child, but to lose a child by suicide must bring an almost unbearable degree of self-reproach to the loss. There may well be many things Alcorn’s parents could or should have done differently, but none of them merit the punishment of global public shaming on top of massive private grief.

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It is hard to imagine anything worse than having to bury your own child... no parent should ever outlive them. But the number one thing that Leelah's parents "could and should" have done was accept her and help her, not belittle her identity and put her through conversion therapy to try and hide who she was for the sake of their dignity. Their selfishness and dignity not only cost them a daughter, but any right to hide from the public eye and the global shaming they're enduring. Especially if the rumours floating around on the petition page, twitter and facebook are true (i.e. that Leelah will be burried in a suit and her tombstone will read Joshua).

And the whole article is a constant judgement call.. calling on comparisons of how the media is treating Leelah's to the Samaritans Guidelines to Journalism and even calling her an unreliable narrator in her own death.

The guidelines tell journalists to “avoid the suggestion that a single incident […] was the cause”: the report doesn’t discuss any possible underlying causes, but presents the reported hostility of Alcorn’s parents to her trans status as the sole contributing factor.

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And the headline for the whole article? "If you believe transs lives matter, don't share Leelah Alcorn's suicide note on social media".... the hypocrisy... it just... argh...

Channy said:

Apparently one "journalist", and I use the term loosely, believes that if we cared about trans lives, we'd stop sharing Leelah's suicide note because it's going to make her a martyr and and encourage several other trans youths to committ suicide if it'll get them noticed...

http://www.donotlink.com/d20t





By all means, the loss of one life is but a drop in the big bucket of the world, but let's not infamize her to encourage others to take their lives. Nooooo. Because the lesson here to teach isn't about accepting people as they are, it's to bury it deep down, away from the media, because the obvious reaction from the public is to think "I can make a name for myself in death too."

And let's not forget the parents...



It is hard to imagine anything worse than having to bury your own child... no parent should ever outlive them. But the number one thing that Leelah's parents "could and should" have done was accept her and help her, not belittle her identity and put her through conversion therapy to try and hide who she was for the sake of their dignity. Their selfishness and dignity not only cost them a daughter, but any right to hide from the public eye and the global shaming they're enduring. Especially if the rumours floating around on the petition page, twitter and facebook are true (i.e. that Leelah will be burried in a suit and her tombstone will read Joshua).

And the whole article is a constant judgement call.. calling on comparisons of how the media is treating Leelah's to the Samaritans Guidelines to Journalism and even calling her an unreliable narrator in her own death.



And the headline for the whole article? "If you believe transs lives matter, don't share Leelah Alcorn's suicide note on social media".... the hypocrisy... it just... argh...

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Looks like Sarah Ditum could use a dash of shaming and shunning as well...

Her awful, awful mother. Dear lord, her awful, awful mother.

She's still insisting that her daughter was a son, even though the poor girl literally killed herself to get away from her poison. That woman has no right to her daughter's memory.

I've been reading comments all over the internet on this today, and I just want to RAGE at the Universe. It's a damned good thing I am not the Mistress of Magnetism...

Channy said:

Apparently one "journalist", and I use the term loosely, believes that if we cared about trans lives, we'd stop sharing Leelah's suicide note because it's going to make her a martyr and and encourage several other trans youths to committ suicide if it'll get them noticed...

http://www.donotlink.com/d20t

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That article really seems like classic concern trolling.

The counterargument, of course, is if we hide the contents of this letter, how many more transgender youth will end up committing suicide because they feel like they're alone and that their loved ones don't accept them?

It's pretty damned insulting to imply that young transgender people attempt or commit suicide in order to get attention. They do it because they are in overwhelming and intractable emotional pain. Not talking about this issue makes that worse.

Some quick Google-fu leads me to the following: the *attempted* suicide rate in the transgender community is already at 41%, or was in January of last year, and that's just the reported cases that we know about.

ETA: Because my reading comprehension is weak tonight.

The murder rate? Well, I can't Math sufficiently to get a percentage here, but Transviolencetracker.org tells me a transgendered person is killed roughly every 38 hours.

Leelah Alcorn shouldn't be news. She should be where the news ends. She should be the point at which people wake up and say, "Hey, that's not cool!" and actually, y'know, DO something about it. Because this shit happens literally every day.

Rhoda Nightingale said:

Some quick Google-fu leads me to the following: the suicide rate in the transgender community is already at 41%, or was in January of last year, and that's just the reported cases that we know about. Which is say, 41% of all transgender people have successfully committed suicide, to say nothing of the additional attempts that weren't successful.

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Whoa. I'm on your side and everything, but you misread your source.

41% of transgender people have not successfully committed suicide. 41% of transgender people have attempted suicide.

This is what your source says:

A whopping 41% of people who are transgender or gender-nonconforming have attempted suicide sometime in their lives, nearly nine times the national average, according to a sweeping survey released three years ago.

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This is the source that I found, which explains all the statistics in detail. It's a horrifying read, and it provides an interesting perspective on the whole thing. The 41% figure only counts people who currently identify as trans and have attempted suicide in the past. It doesn't include successful attempts.

I wasn't aware that they had taken down her whole tumblr... that brings further rage to a new boiling point. I assume it's at the behest of the parents, who want to cover up any evidence of Leelah and her blame on them... but it's going to make it a bajillion times worse. Are they that naive not to see that? Trying to cover it up in shame is going to make them even bigger scum in the eyes of the public.

@ViridianChick: Fixed. I've been following the bunny trail on this for *ahem* more than a few links and got lost. Sorry.

@viridian chick. Yeah, those figures jive with what Janet Mock mentioned to me well over a year ago. I'm sure the percentages have climbed. Add in factors such as lack of access to hormone treatment, perhaps low-income households, and general lack of understanding, and the figures could be even higher.

While Leelah's parents come across as being self-righteous and puritanical--and I'm sure they are--I'm also sure that they cared for her in their own way and since none of us lived with them, we can't know how far the abuse extended. Their religious blindness, though. for lack of a better term, prevented them from seeing what needed to be seen, that their child needed help. It's just horribly unfortunate that Leelah had to resort to doing what she did.

How upsetting!

It's so sad that things like this are still happening in 2015!

I dream of a world were every single person is treated equally. Hopefully it doesn't have to stay a dream forever.

Yes. Lasting change only comes about through the hard, sustained efforts of as many conscientious people as can be mobilized.

I think that article about making Leelah Alcorn into a martyr actually made a good point.

I was suicidal when I was a kid, and one of the things I most often thought was that if I killed myself, then I would be validated. Lots of people would grieve me, my bullies would feel ashamed, and everyone who had dismissed my feelings or hurt me or told me to suck it up would be proven wrong.

Obviously, I didn't kill myself, mostly because I didn't want to die.

Apparently, these fantasies are pretty common.

Basically, when I start to think about the many times my family has traumatized me in my early years, I fantasize about what life would have been like for them if I had killed myself immediately after any one of those times, in a way that would imply that my blood would have been all over their hands.

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In periods when my core is very starved I keep fantasizing about dying/suicide, not the action itself but the reactions of relatives and acquaintances toward it. It sounds grim, but it seems to be some kind of method of self-sufficiency because it is strangely comforting.

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Leelah Alcorn has gone from being an unknown, unhappy, abused teenager to being loved, accepted, defended, and validated by thousands.

The idea of stifling this story or ignoring what happened is abhorrent. But if I were a trans kid and I saw this story, I'd probably jump in front of a truck, too.

So when I see people like Maryn say "I'm so sad she chose this, suicide is not the right answer," I'm glad. Because we need to be spreading that message along with the story.

There are actual ways to report on suicide without subtly encouraging other suicidal people.

...I don't know what they are, but I know they exist!

would be great if bigots and racists of all sorts could be weeded out and gotten rid of

what a wonderful world it would be sans bigots !

ViridianChick said:

I think that article about making Leelah Alcorn into a martyr actually made a good point.

4)I was suicidal when I was a kid, and one of the things I most often thought was that if I killed myself, then I would be validated. Lots of people would grieve me, my bullies would feel ashamed, and everyone who had dismissed my feelings or hurt me or told me to suck it up would be proven wrong.

Obviously, I didn't kill myself, mostly because I didn't want to die.

Apparently, these fantasies are pretty common.


1)Leelah Alcorn has gone from being an unknown, unhappy, abused teenager to being loved, accepted, defended, and validated by thousands.

2)The idea of stifling this story or ignoring what happened is abhorrent. But if I were a trans kid and I saw this story, I'd probably jump in front of a truck, too.

3)So when I see people like Maryn say "I'm so sad she chose this, suicide is not the right answer," I'm glad. Because we need to be spreading that message along with the story.

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I added numbers to the points I'm addressing in the quoted which match my responses.

1) Leelah doesn't know that though. She died that unknown, unhappy, and abused teenager. She never saw herself elevated to a cause celebre. Because she's dead.

And most people would have the common sense to know that. Trans kids were probably gonna attempt suicide anyway. I've seen the stats up near 45% sometimes, but 100% of the trans people I've discussed this with...and that's a large number...have attempted suicide over trans issues sometime in their lives. It's a shitty situation, and hiding it from the world isn't going to help anyone.

Leelah Alcorn died alone and miserable on a highway, she is not in anyway enjoying her posthumous fame.

2) If you were a trans kid, you probably had been thinking of suicide already. However, I know lots of minds have been opened, and many people on the sidelines have joined the battle against ignorance, oppression and senseless death as a result of her story.

3) I agree, though for many trans people religious and societal opposition make it very hard for it to "get better" for them. We are third class citizens, where in many places we are legally discriminated against and harassed just for living. It's a battle, one that can be won, but not by maintaining the status quo. And closing our eyes as a society to Leelah Alcorn's death would have simply led to more of the same.

4) Suicidal fantasies are not uncommon in teens. I attempted suicide twice very strongly by drug over-dose at ages 16 and 18 (with ER visits and stomach pumps), and weakly by some risky drug combinations untold times between 15 and 25 (each time I went to bed praying not to wake up). Most of us who try this aren't trying to change society...we were simply trying to end the suffering that would never cease.

Education for the general public and for trans youth is the solution. It can get better. I turned my life around and found relief through transitioning, hormones, and surgery, though in retrospect i wish I could have done it as a child (sure, not the surgery, but 18 would have been nice). But, you're as likely to be thrown on the street as to be accepted by your parents...your odds at successful transition go down. I'm 50 and happy enough. I'm glad I wasn't successful in my early suicide attempts. But, we have to have this conversation, and without the hard, brutal shove that Leelah Alcorn gave us...we wouldn't be having it here on AW or in society in general. We have had plenty of dead trans kids and adults...nobody cared. We'll have more, and it won't be because of Leelah or the media, it will be because of hate and ignorance, and the curse of Gender Identity Dysphoria that no one should have to live with in this day and age.

I posted it in the thread in the other room too, but I thought it belonged here as well, to get the word out on this:

The Empire of Ignorance Strikes back.

In backlash against the positive support the trans community has received in the wake of the Leelah Alcorn tragedy, an anonymous internet group calling itself, "Go Truck Yourself" has taken up the challenge of encouraging trans people to kill themselves.

These people are:

actively celebrating the suicide of trans individuals, and urging its members to phone trans support hotlines, including those dedicated to preventing suicide, in order to block them.


There have since been reports from the United States of trans hotlines being blocked as a result, with time and resource being taken up by people whose primary aim is to prevent suicidal trans people from obtaining help and support.
The article also mentions how Facebook ignored many complaints about the Go Truck Yourself FB page, until finally taking it down. There's a link to their fun little dirty, hate-filled world in the article if you want to get sick.

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http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/f...ate-page040115

Magneto was right.

Anyone still looking to give in other ways, an organization called The Leelah Project is collecting cash donations as well as stylish, gently worn clothes of either gender to make care packages for trans teens:
http://theleelahproject.com/

I've been following this story since it broke, and I'm absolutely heartbroken If only somebody could have gotten to her before it was too late. A teacher. Friend. Neighbor. I'm sure so many people who knew her are kicking themselves right now, wondering "What if?" If there is one thing I am taking away from this is that we all need to make an effort to reach out and extend our support to the people around us when something seems not quite right. You never know what private hell someone is going through, or how a single encouraging word might tip the scales that day and keep them alive.

Roxxsmom said:

That article really seems like classic concern trolling.

The counterargument, of course, is if we hide the contents of this letter, how many more transgender youth will end up committing suicide because they feel like they're alone and that their loved ones don't accept them?

It's pretty damned insulting to imply that young transgender people attempt or commit suicide in order to get attention. They do it because they are in overwhelming and intractable emotional pain. Not talking about this issue makes that worse.

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I have some complicated feelings about the thoughts expressed in the article and about this whole incident, and I've been kind of reluctant to articulate it for fear that it would come across the wrong way. So if this is offensive to anyone, I will gladly delete it.

I absolutely disagree with the article's solution to stop sharing Leelah's suicide note, because--as you said--more silence is not the answer. The issue needs to be talked about. And talked and talked about some more.

But I think the dilemma raised in the article is a real one. Not because anyone commits suicide for such a petty reason as "getting attention" (and I don't think that's the implication) but rather because, when you feel like you're doomed to misery for the rest of your life anyway and death seems like the only escape and you can't find a good reason to keep getting out of bed in the morning to face another day of agony, the idea that your death can accomplish some kind of social good makes the prospect of relief that much more tempting. Leelah herself said it: My death needs to mean something. My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say “that’s fucked up” and fix it. Fix society.

Though depression and hopelessness is a prerequisite, suicide can be a political act. And I think that's the case here. It was done with the expressed intention of prompting change.

Again, the solution is not to stop talking about it. I don't know if there even is a "solution," really. But there is admittedly something about that aspect of it that I find really uncomfortable and troubling. Because the unintentional message is that killing yourself can, in fact, accomplish things, even if you're not around to see it happen. "Suicide doesn't solve anything," "suicide doesn't do any good" are the old cliches we're used to hearing, but it's not really true. Sometimes a tragic death makes people sit up and pay attention in a way that a lifetime of activism doesn't. Sometimes the public needs a body count in order to give a shit, and if there isn't tangible, bloody proof of human suffering right under their noses, they're perfectly happy to dismiss it. And sometimes even then, they'll just rationalize it away.

It's great that people are paying more attention now. But I hate the fact that it took a tragedy like this in order to make that happen.

The Otter said:

I have some complicated feelings about the thoughts expressed in the article and about this whole incident, and I've been kind of reluctant to articulate it for fear that it would come across the wrong way. So if this is offensive to anyone, I will gladly delete it.

I absolutely disagree with the article's solution to stop sharing Leelah's suicide note, because--as you said--more silence is not the answer. The issue needs to be talked about. And talked and talked about some more.

But I think the dilemma raised in the article is a real one. Not because anyone commits suicide for such a petty reason as "getting attention" (and I don't think that's the implication) but rather because, when you feel like you're doomed to misery for the rest of your life anyway and death seems like the only escape and you can't find a good reason to keep getting out of bed in the morning to face another day of agony, the idea that your death can accomplish some kind of social good makes the prospect of relief that much more tempting. Leelah herself said it: My death needs to mean something. My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say “that’s fucked up” and fix it. Fix society.

Though depression and hopelessness is a prerequisite, suicide can be a political act. And I think that's the case here. It was done with the expressed intention of prompting change.

Again, the solution is not to stop talking about it. I don't know if there even is a "solution," really. But there is admittedly something about that aspect of it that I find really uncomfortable and troubling. Because the unintentional message is that killing yourself can, in fact, accomplish things, even if you're not around to see it happen. "Suicide doesn't solve anything," "suicide doesn't do any good" are the old cliches we're used to hearing, but it's not really true. Sometimes a tragic death makes people sit up and pay attention in a way that a lifetime of activism doesn't. Sometimes the public needs a body count in order to give a shit, and if there isn't tangible, bloody proof of human suffering right under their noses, they're perfectly happy to dismiss it. And sometimes even then, they'll just rationalize it away.

It's great that people are paying more attention now. But I hate the fact that it took a tragedy like this in order to make that happen.

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The comedy horror sci-fi novel, This Book is Full of Spiders by David Wong is entirely about that...sans the trans angle. It discusses this brilliantly, and echoes your finely written, very valid points as well.