BS your way through

I'm going to save you the trouble and say such is life (because you really don't want the moose answering that question, trust me).

Who came up with the bright idea of mixing strawberries and chocolate?

My cats. Then again, one of 'em came up with mixing chili and chocolate....

Why does the moose answer questions, rather than ask them?

The moose answers questions because he didn't go to Harvard to get that degree for NOTHING.

Why does chocolate taste so good?

It tastes so good to make women happy. I Love You Godiva!!!!!

Chocolate bacon. When will it be available to the masses?

As soon as we finish developing chocolate pigs. The main snag has been that they taste so good that they've been eating each other. Maybe we should concentrate on breeding 'em for flight instead??

Why can't pigs fly?

Scientists have done a lot of studying up on the and have concluded they can't fly for the same reason bees cant fly. The math just doesn't work out for the to be able to do so.


Wouldn't it just be easier to pass up temptation? brb .. gotta go check the freezer for chocolate.

Temptation is there to be used. Now hand over that chocolate.

Why aren't there more temptations?

Because there have never been more than five. The Temptations began recording in 1960, and they remain very popular. Though the membership has changed over the years, one of the original members, Otis Williams, is still with the group.

Should writers have a coat of arms?

I tried that once. Sewed a bunch of arms into a coat. It was awfully lumpy, and what's worse, it groped me.

If there are five Temptations, why are there seven Deadly Sins? Shouldn't they match?

The Temptations didn't sin; they only tempted. That's why they don't match.



The seven deadly sins. I am rusty. Does one involve chocolate?

Why, indeed - both gluttony and lust. Just ask the cookie monster. Double Chocolate Chunk Cookies have been inspiring that poor blue monster to lust to gleeful extremes - "COOK-IEEEE!". And once he has one bite, he just can't stop. I think the ER has lost count of how many times he's had to have his stomach pumped now from chocolate overdose.

Why did an evil fairy conspire to cast a spell crashing my royal costume ball? (I mean, it's not like I went and touched a spindle or call a fairy a pixie by accident or anything - I did read the stickies after all.)

Fairies hate costume balls because so many ladies like to dress up as Tinkerbell. They have gripes against Tinkerbell for reasons unbeknownst to me. Therefore, they try to thwart costume parties. Too bad so sad.

How many bad costume ideas are prevalent this year?

Well, actually the costumes have been pretty promising since it's all Royals dressing up as fantastical royalty. Someone DID threaten to show up as an Emperor without any clothes, but thankfully the dragons seem to have stopped said personage at the door.

How would you advise avoiding the grass trying to rise up and trip me in my outdoor ventures tomorrow? (It's happened before.)

Apply Roundup. Barring that, mow the lawn. Better yet, stay indoors. Otherwise your ass is grass. (Is this the Give Someone Advice thread? I forget.)

Why do people trip over their own feet?

Because they perceive them as foreign objects. It is a medical condition known as Dysmorphophobia and requires long and expensive treatment. A simpler cure can sometimes be effected by learning to tap dance.

Why aren't orange shoes more popular?

Orange shoes are very popular in The land of Clemson, South Carolina. Gamecocks hate the shoes, and rivalries have ensued.

Acid washed jeans: are they now or will they ever will be threatening to come back into style?

C.bronco said:

Orange shoes are very popular in The land of Clemson, South Carolina. Gamecocks hate the shoes, and rivalries have ensued.

Acid washed jeans: are they now or will they ever will be threatening to come back into style?

Click to expand...

They have never threatened coming back into style. However, they have promised it, and it will happen on January 1st, 2012 as a precursor to the world ending.


Do I have any shame whatsoever in pitting myself in a bs war against myself?

If you don't, you will. Self-bullshitting leads to hairy palms.

Why are tortoises so good at climbing?

They are obsessive social climbers, intent on proving themselves better than turtles.

Do people actually eat turtle soup?

Yes, served on the half shell usually


Which way is the nearest salantium?

Three blocks to the left, next to the Salty Nums food stand.

Why are garden gnomes so prevalent?

They breed fast as rabbits -- and with rabbits, if given the opportunity.

Why are doughnuts fried?

Doughnuts were originally steamed, but no one paid attention to them because they assumed they were angry.

Being fried made them appear far more friendly, especially to the Grateful Dead fans. After that, they became accepted in modern culture.

C.bronco said:

Doughnuts were originally steamed, but no one paid attention to them because they assumed they were angry.

Being fried made them appear far more friendly, especially to the Grateful Dead fans. After that, they became accepted in modern culture.

Click to expand...

...What's the new question? (Maybe that's it.)

Hmmm...if I answer that question with another question and it's the incorrect question, I have this vague suspicion that I might go flying off the bridge into the volcano below while an old man cackles and asks the next person to bs about his favorite color. But perhaps if I answer that question with another question that is the RIGHT question, then a troll might come out from under the bridge and help me take care of my lawn gnome problem (because those things are making like rabbits).

So, what...is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
(and before you even ask, it could be an African OR a European swallow in your answer. Choose wisely. *cackles*)