Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 2

M. H. Lee · Sep 13, 2012

Uncle Jim - Please share your wisdom

Uncle Jim,
First, thank you so much for this thread. It's been incredibly helpful.

I was hoping you might comment a bit on Harper Voyager's opening to unagented submissions in October. What should newbie authors consider in terms of pros and cons?

I couldn't find what the contract might be. It seems to be e-book only. Global publication in English. I can see how it might be fantastic exposure for an author, but is it really better than going the agented route? (Assuming that's possible.)

I figure I'll be querying beginning of October, so it's perfect timing for me. But I think I'm missing something. Please help!

Thanks,
M.H.

James D. Macdonald · Sep 13, 2012

I've been published by Harper Voyager (and edited by Diana Gill). The contract will be both competitive and negotiable.

There is also nothing saying that, should your work be selected, you can't call your top dream-agent on the phone and say, "How would you like to represent me?"

Silver-Midnight · Sep 13, 2012

James D. Macdonald said:
There are no bad ideas, only clumsy writers.

How do you stop being a clumsy writer?

Fallen · Sep 14, 2012

James D. Macdonald said:
There are no bad ideas, only clumsy writers.

Oh hell, is this me at the moment.

James D. Macdonald · Sep 14, 2012

Silver-Midnight said:
How do you stop being a clumsy writer?

Practice.

Shika Senbei · Sep 14, 2012

Silver-Midnight said:
How do you stop being a clumsy writer?

Stop spilling your drink over your keyboard.

Silver-Midnight · Sep 14, 2012

James D. Macdonald said:
Practice.

James D. Macdonald · Sep 16, 2012

From elsewhere at AW:

"All eyes fell on him" is an idiomatic expression. It doesn't have to make sense.

"Eyes" can also be an example of the rhetorical device synecdoche: a part standing for the whole. We use this all the time, and there's nothing wrong with it (unless you want to ding Shakespeare for writing "Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears...").

Not to be confused with metonymy, where one thing stands for another: Thus, The White House announced several new measures the Administration is implementing to help those impacted by the drought. Actually, the White House didn't announce anything. It's a building; it can't talk. Jay Carney, President Obama's press secretary, made the announcement. But "the White House" is easily recognized and universally understood, brief, and avoids the passive "An official announcement was made...."

(Nevertheless, free-roaming eyes are a problem in a lot of fiction: Her eyes flew around the room before landing on the curtains produces an odd image.)

James D. Macdonald · Sep 21, 2012

99 Bottles of Pee on the Wall

It's about a literary scam. Among other things.

FOTSGreg · Sep 21, 2012

"Her eyes blazed"
"His eyes crawled down her dress"
"A spike of pain lanced through him"

I love seeing those things in others writing. I hate seeing them in mine.

Calliopenjo · Sep 21, 2012

James D. Macdonald said:
99 Bottles of Pee on the Wall

It's about a literary scam. Among other things.

It's not there Uncle Jim. I got a "Does not exist" message instead.

Corey LeMoine · Sep 21, 2012

I had surgery on Monday. I have been more or less laid up for the week, and here it is Friday, and I have just caught up with the thread. I started all the way back at the beginning, watched the whole cast of characters grow and evolve with only one constant, Uncle Jim himself. Now that the worst of my recovery has passed, I have been putting in my Bic time to be sure.

Thanks Uncle Jim for making this thread in particular a hub of both useful information, but also useful ways of thinking about the art and the craft of writing. It takes a lot of effort and commitment to stick with something like this thread for going on seven years, and it speaks well to your character.

As an aside, I live down at the bottom end of New Hampshire. I got a real kick out of you suggesting Walpole as a fictional setting for that one gentlemen's book. I thought I'd add in case he's still around, Walpole has a very lovely Farmers Market in the summer.

Anyway, happy to join in with the cast of characters here in the learn writing thread.

James D. Macdonald · Sep 21, 2012

Calliopenjo said:
It's not there Uncle Jim. I got a "Does not exist" message instead.

Fixed.

Calliopenjo · Sep 22, 2012

Thanks, Uncle Jim. It was a long but interesting story.

James D. Macdonald · Sep 27, 2012

Entertainingly good books and entertainingly bad books have one thing in common....

Calliopenjo · Sep 27, 2012

James D. Macdonald said:
Entertainingly good books and entertainingly bad books have one thing in common....

Both are entertaining?

Corey LeMoine · Sep 27, 2012

I think Caliopeno has the right of it. They are both entertaining. But why are the bad books entertaining? Sometimes it's the "Oh god can this be this bad?" factor, and other times the story is good enough to survive the bad writing.

TheRob1 · Sep 27, 2012

I've read a few books, not because I thought they were good, but because they were the closest thing I could find to the novel that I wanted to read at that time.

James D. Macdonald · Sep 28, 2012

By a weird coincidence the books I write don't turn out (usually) to be the book I wanted to write, but they're the closest I thing I can do to the book I wanted.

If I ever write a book that fully satisfies me I may stop writing. Maybe.

FOTSGreg · Sep 28, 2012

Uncle Jim, yeah, right. Writing's in your blood. It's who you are. You could no more stop writing and live than you could stop breathing and live.

allenparker · Oct 1, 2012

James D. Macdonald said:
By a weird coincidence the books I write don't turn out (usually) to be the book I wanted to write, but they're the closest I thing I can do to the book I wanted.

If I ever write a book that fully satisfies me I may stop writing. Maybe.

Isn't it great that God doesn't give us that ability...

James D. Macdonald · Nov 2, 2012

Led there from another thread, this supposed 74 Reasons an Agent Won't Read Your MS Beyond Page One

What would probably be fun: See how many of those 74 "reasons" we can get into 250 words (one page in standard manuscript format).

Prediction: The act of trying to get them all will produce something pretty good and a strong reason for the reader to turn the page.

(The only rule: If it works it's right. Strong guideline: Be interesting. Cautions: Don't bore the reader. Don't confuse the reader.)

Duncan J Macdonald · Nov 2, 2012

James D. Macdonald said:
Led there from another thread, this supposed 74 Reasons an Agent Won't Read Your MS Beyond Page One

What would probably be fun: See how many of those 74 "reasons" we can get into 250 words (one page in standard manuscript format).

Prediction: The act of trying to get them all will produce something pretty good and a strong reason for the reader to turn the page.

(The only rule: If it works it's right. Strong guideline: Be interesting. Cautions: Don't bore the reader. Don't confuse the reader.)

"Can a full moon be any brighter?" Jill's words were met with silence. Shaking her head to clear her mind she stepped to the full-length mirror to examine the damage done to her delicate coiffure of cascading blonde tresses. She rearranged a few strands of hair, frowning. Something still didn't seem right. Squinting to see better, she caught a slight movement in the mirror reflected from the dark corner behind her.

"Oh bother," she said. She reached for the AA-12 full-auto shotgun she'd leaned against the wall next to the mirror, turned, and pumped another five shells of Double-Ought buckshot into the quivering form of her date's body.

"I told you not to touch me. See what you've done now?"

Like the moon, Steve wasn't answering her either.

---------------------------------------------

There's 130 of the 250 words (depending on how you count hyphens) and six or so of the 'reasons'.

James D. Macdonald · Nov 2, 2012

"And how many deaths will it take 'til we know that too many people have died?"

The words whispered out. Then: She opened her eyes, returning to consciousness. Taking in the dirty brick of the wall in front of her. Muddy water in oil-streaked pools, the smell of garbage. "My name is..." she muttered. A question crept into her voice: "My name is?" No answer.

She dug into her purse. A mirror. She needed a mirror. She found a compact. Opened it. Saw red-blonde hair, pixie cut. Blue eyes. Electric blue eyes. Upturned nose. Pouty lips.

She didn't recognize the face.

Gentle reader, I should warn you, what will happen next is shocking. For she will walk around the end of the Dumpster that currently blocks the entrance of the alley in which she stands and see it. Lying in the dirty mud of that night-time alley.

But that night happened five years ago. Our story truly begins tonight, for tonight is the Mayor's Gala, and we are dressing for a night of mild political banter. Tonight the thing we saw behind the Dumpster five years ago will begin to make a peculiar kind of sense. But that is for later. Now, it is time for us to dress for the Mayor's Gala.

The limo is here. We get in. The driver stays on his side of the smoke-glass partition. The in-car bar has gin, vodka, whiskey... top-shelf labels. Ice. Crystal glasses. We pour a shot–a double–of bourbon.

"Ma'm?" the sound of the driver's voice through the intercom. "Would you like to enter through the parking garage? Fewer paparazzi that way."

Duncan J Macdonald · Nov 3, 2012

James D. Macdonald said:
"And how many deaths will it take 'til we know that too many people have died?"

The words whispered out. Then: She opened her eyes, returning to consciousness. Taking in the dirty brick of the wall in front of her. Muddy water in oil-streaked pools, the smell of garbage. "My name is..." she muttered. A question crept into her voice: "My name is?" No answer.

She dug into her purse. A mirror. She needed a mirror. She found a compact. Opened it. Saw red-blonde hair, pixie cut. Blue eyes. Electric blue eyes. Upturned nose. Pouty lips.

She didn't recognize the face.

Gentle reader, I should warn you, what will happen next is shocking. For she will walk around the end of the Dumpster that currently blocks the entrance of the alley in which she stands and see it. Lying in the dirty mud of that night-time alley.

But that night happened five years ago. Our story truly begins tonight, for tonight is the Mayor's Gala, and we are dressing for a night of mild political banter. Tonight the thing we saw behind the Dumpster five years ago will begin to make a peculiar kind of sense. But that is for later. Now, it is time for us to dress for the Mayor's Gala.

The limo is here. We get in. The driver stays on his side of the smoke-glass partition. The in-car bar has gin, vodka, whiskey... top-shelf labels. Ice. Crystal glasses. We pour a shot–a double–of bourbon.

"Ma'm?" the sound of the driver's voice through the intercom. "Would you like to enter through the parking garage? Fewer paparazzi that way."

I like the first person plural for the MC. Or is that MCs?

Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 2

Your Genial Uncle

Stood at the coalface

Your Genial Uncle

Me want a cookie!

Your Genial Uncle

Your Genial Uncle

Today is your last day.

Esteemed thinker

A decent fella.

Your Genial Uncle

Esteemed thinker

Your Genial Uncle

Esteemed thinker

A decent fella.

Trained by the soft master

Your Genial Uncle

Today is your last day.

Naked Futon Guy

Your Genial Uncle

Plotting! Not Plodding!

Your Genial Uncle

Plotting! Not Plodding!