The Compleat 'Thorn Forest' (A Gift for AW)

Perks

delicate #!&@*#! flower
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Wickedness is a common term used for women as relates to sex. It is the reason ankles and hair must never be shown. Their wickedness can't be resisted by man.

Holy hell, can you imagine what a turn on hairy ankles would be? Saved by tube socks.
 

poetinahat

say it loud
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I'd suggest stockings here instead. Then, when she gets the inevitable run in one, they can giggle and call it Jacob's Ladder.

Well, because that's what they call them in... oh, never mind.
 

Magdalen

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A fine poem, I find I must again comment, reading again this weekend, at leisure...really a compelling read as I approached it again just now. So thanks and will revisit this thread again!!
 

Stew21

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Oh wait, difficult for you? I thought you meant difficult for Jacob. I was Not trying to make light of your challenge with that comment.

But I suppose difficult is a natural part of Anna, whether for her author or her co-star.
 
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Williebee

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"Appalachian Biblical" comes to mind. But so does an east Texas revival sermon.

I find myself with a handful of questions I want to ask, but will hold on to for fear of disturbing the flow.

I'm just glad to get to take the ride. Thank you, sir.
 

Debbie V

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I believe that girl may turn out to be worth all the trouble she caused you. What she causes Jacob is another matter.
 

Kylabelle

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Thank you. I was missing it.
 

Stew21

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I am gratified by his human-ness in this one.
Beautiful work, William.

I can't wait to dive deep on this again. (Soon!)
 

cray

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it was worth the wait! beautiful.
thank you for sharing this, william.






and i'll tell you what (finally) struck me as i read part 19....

a lot of these parts are simply beautiful as stand alone poems.
19 is just one (wonderful) example.
 

William Haskins

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thank you, trish and cray, for reading and for your comments.

means a lot to me.
 

CassandraW

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I've come late in the game, and can't help but wonder what it was like for those who got here early and heard it piece by piece. I can say it's wonderful to read straight through the sections you have so far. It's extremely powerful, and the movement of rhythm from section to section and the use of rhyme is very effective.

Also, taking aside your writing voice, you have a nice speaking voice. I was half afraid to click on the sound link in case you didn't -- and I didn't do it until I'd read the entire poem a couple of times. It's terrible of me, but I'm sensitive to voices and though it's a wonderful thing to hear poetry read aloud, it ruins it for me when the unfortunate poet is cursed with a squeaky whine. Color me shallow if you must.

(And now I'll go back and read all the comments, which I don't like to do until I've commented myself!)

A few things that particularly struck me:

and learned like
any animal learns—
ears nipped and angry

-- tells us so much about Jacob in a single image


Jacob's sweat dripped
and beaded into mudpie
buttons in the dust.

-- I love, love, love this image.


and a boy alone
cleaved to the skull of a dog.

-- nice. very nice

Dirt has a way
of swallowing tears

-- A lovely echo of the mudpie button image I liked so much.


The way you used rhyme in "The Interview" was particularly effective for me. And you've done a wonderful job of capturing the jeers in their voices.


Her lips the color of turnips
fixed on words that referred to grace.

I like the image and your choice of "referred" ("fixed," too, actually.)

Thus an orphan was delivered
from a wicked life of sloth
and processed into bondage to
a creature of the cloth.

I like the use of rhyme and the irony.

for it was by the hand of God
that the strap was swung.

-- nice.

The Wretched Sing the Song God Wants to Hear

-- love the title of this section.

But Jacob's was the prayer
of the mockingbird.

--Harper Lee would approve.

whose thorns
like concertina wire
guarded the
forest edge.

-- wonderful image.

as Jacob salted his lips
at her cheek.

-- I like this a lot.
 
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