Is this grammatically correct?
- Thread starter Quilliam
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It was a weird feeling. One second I was surrounded by hundreds of admirers, the next I was alone.
or, not so passive:
It was a weird feeling. Hundreds of admirers surrounded me one second, and the next I was alone.
or, not so passive:
It was a weird feeling. Hundreds of admirers surrounded me one second, and the next I was alone.
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If you don't like it, or if you're not sure it's correct, go with the ole' comma or period. It's better to not use a colon or a semicolon than to get it wrong and have a reader notice the error.
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"It was weird how the environment of a (the) hospital was so sickening."
"It was weird how a (the) hospital environment was so sickening."
"It was weird how an (the) environment of a hospital could be so sickening."
There are many ways to rewrite that sentence.
"It was weird how a (the) hospital environment was so sickening."
"It was weird how an (the) environment of a hospital could be so sickening."
There are many ways to rewrite that sentence.
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'It was a weird feeling - basking in the admiration of hundreds and next thing, alone.'
I suggest this because neither of the two 'events' lend themselves to seconds.
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APC
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On another note: what does "weird" tell the reader? Isn't it (in this particular context) your everyday euphemism?
Perhaps a selection from the four main feeling food groups (mad, sad, glad, or afraid), and their respective derivatives, might prove more illuminating?
Perhaps a selection from the four main feeling food groups (mad, sad, glad, or afraid), and their respective derivatives, might prove more illuminating?
I think that in that use "weird" would tell the reader that it was strange. There may be better words, but the evil one's idea wasn't bad. I don't think that "mad, sad, glad, or afraid" would have fit. What word would you have used that might have given some senes of the irony?
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I'm usually wrong with my suggestions, but a few things struck me about this sentence to make it better...
What a weird feeling! One second I was admired by hundreds, the next I was alone.
(don't believe you need to say hundreds of people - unless surrounding sentences give the impression you're surrounded by hundreds of something elses like fishes or rocks, etc.)
(alone with yourself? - If no one else/thing is implied to be near, then being alone means no one else/thing is around. Unless, you're with your doppleganger, then it could be said you're alone with yourself)
The colon is always a sign of a poor sentence. Just rewrite this one so it doesn't need the colon. It isn't correct in this sentence, anyway. Start with something like:
Being admired by hundreds of people one second, and then being completely alone the next, was a weird feeling.
Go from there. Structure matters. Colons are almost always an after thought, used because the writer starts the sentence in the wrong place, or gets halfway through a sentence, and suddenly decides he wants to say more. Rather than rewriting as he should, he shoves in a colon, and you have a sentence that could be, and should be, a lot better.
And avoid such phrases as "being alone with yourself".
Being admired by hundreds of people one second, and then being completely alone the next, was a weird feeling.
Go from there. Structure matters. Colons are almost always an after thought, used because the writer starts the sentence in the wrong place, or gets halfway through a sentence, and suddenly decides he wants to say more. Rather than rewriting as he should, he shoves in a colon, and you have a sentence that could be, and should be, a lot better.
And avoid such phrases as "being alone with yourself".
To tag on to what JAR just posted, when you find yourself tinkering with punctuation in an attempt to clarify a sentence, chances are the sentence is just structured poorly, and needs to be recast. Good sentences are rarely difficult to punctuate.
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