Hi Bunker
You may not be aware, but we have a 50-post requirement here at AW, both for posting work for critique and for advertising work. Also, this room isn't really the place for either thing. That's why i'm locking the thread and breaking the link in your original post.
If you do want your work critiqued, i'd highly recommend spending time in the
Share Your Work section (password 'Vista'), commenting on the work posted there. This will help you get to 50 posts in a constructive way, will help you get to know the writers who'll be commenting on your work, and will help your own writing a whole lot. Often, it's far easier for us to see what works and what doesn't when reading someone else's writing.
Happy fictioneering!