How much description?

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SergeantC

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How much description is appropriate for a secondary character in a 5000 word story?

I have the best part of a paragraph in a story I am working on devoted to a secondary character, and I think it's probably too much.

What do you think?
 

genlablanc

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Yeah, I personally think that is a bit too much. I honestly think that you should cut it down to a sentence or two at the most.
 

Elly_Green

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Depends on the secondary character. I just wrote a 5,000 word story wherein I had to introduce two main characters and a secondary one. What I did was dedicate a good 500 words to the secondary character's introduction, but at the same time making his intro part of learning about one of the main character's personality and moving the story ahead. If you can find a way to move the story ahead while intro-ing the secondary character, you should be fine.
 

Outofcontext

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I would approach the problem by deciding how much description of that character is necessary relative to their importance in the story. They play a supporting role. You don't want to magnify their importance beyond that. Otherwise, they may begin to overshadow the main character(s) and mislead the reader. In the end, it's not something that can be measured in numbers.

UoC
 

Polenth

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There's no single answer here, as it depends entirely on the story. Your best bet for a useful answer is to get someone to critique the story. If they feel it's dragging at that point, they'll tell you.
 

Jinsune

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I agree with Polength's idea of getting a critique partner. I would suggest not to spend a whole paragraph on the character's description, as that could slow the pacing of the story down.
 

Outofcontext

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Curiously enough, this afternoon, I came upon an article by Hallie Ephron: "How to Write Effective Supporting Characters." It provides some good answers to this dilemma. It has been reprinted in various places. Google is your friend.

UofC
 

Polenth

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Surely it depends even more on the the length of the paragraph?

Not really. If I told you the paragraph was eight sentences, could you tell me if it works or not? How about if it was twelve sentences? Or one word? You're obviously going to look at structural things like length, but that's only one aspect of a story. It's not enough on its own to make a judgement.
 

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Eleven. No more, no less.



Seriously, asking a question like this without any form of context or example is like asking somebody how big a dog should be.

caw
 

Jamesaritchie

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The short answer is you should put in exactly as much description as you personally enjoy reading. You're the one who has to be pleased with the story. Never, ever, for any reason, allow anyone else, othe rthan an editor who actually works at a magazine, tell you how much or how little description to use.

But one paragraph for a secondary character in a 5,000 word story? On a percentage basis, of course that's not too much. It may well be too little. Or just right. It depends on how well it's written, and how it brings the character and story to life.

Description is important. It's certainly possible to go overboard, but most stories suffer from the opposite. Ignore anyone who says they don't like a lot of description in stories. You aren't writing for them.

The best way to judge how much description to use in a story is to use roughly the same amount, and the same kind, or description your favorite writer or two uses. When you start writing such things as description to pleae other, or by percentage, or because somene says they don't like it, you'll almost certainly get it wrong, and have a story you don't like.
 

blacbird

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The effectiveness of description is intimately related to the manner in which it is expressed, too. POV matters a lot, as just one aspect. Point being that it isn't simply a matter of quantity or ratio to other parts of the narrative.

caw
 

Eddy Rod-Kubry

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Description has been a problem for me as well, chiefly, knowing when it is too much or too little. But it all depends on the story itself. You can get a lot more help from submitting the work in question.
 

blacbird

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How much blue paint should be used in a painting? How many F-sharps should be used in a musical composition? How many letter T's should be used in a story? How many angels can sit on the head of a pin?

caw
 

jaksen

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I've never sold a short story that short. (5000 words) But if I did, I'd keep description to a minimum, or even omit it altogether unless it paints a certain scene, as in describing a decrepit building or the attire of a very distinctive character.

Otherwise, leave it out. With 5000 words, you don't have much to work with.
 

Jamesaritchie

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I've never sold a short story that short. (5000 words) But if I did, I'd keep description to a minimum, or even omit it altogether unless it paints a certain scene, as in describing a decrepit building or the attire of a very distinctive character.

Otherwise, leave it out. With 5000 words, you don't have much to work with.

I've sold short stories a short as a thousand words that sold primarily because of the description. By and large, the shorter the piece, the better and more detailed the description has to be. 5,000 words is not short, it's pretty darned long. At least ninety percent of the short stories I sell are well under 5,000 words. 2,500-3,000 is about average, and it's the description that editors raise to death.

No matter how short a story is, either readers can see it, or they can. Either it has a setting that comes to life, or it doesn't. Description is what makes this happen.
 

Jamesaritchie

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How much blue paint should be used in a painting? How many F-sharps should be used in a musical composition? How many letter T's should be used in a story? How many angels can sit on the head of a pin?

caw

One quart, nineteen, fifty-nine, and four hundred and seven.
 

Ride the Pen

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Very good answers above. I think by now you got the message: "It depends..."!

As a tendency, it sounds too much though. How much do you need? In 5000 words, if you can make your main characters 3D, that's well done already. Don't be worried if your secondary characters don't feel that real.

But the best would of course be to have characterization as a by-product of plot, to bring it in really unobtrusively. Because your OP also sounds like you concentrate on telling instead of showing there.
 
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