- Joined
- Mar 9, 2011
- Messages
- 414
- Reaction score
- 50
Hmm. Reading again, this time without the expectations of reaching the worst line ever at the end, I will say that it changes the tone a fair bit. Without it, I like how the twist comes clear in the non-italicized portion on its own. With it, it's a bit of a broadly grinning gotcha! moment a bit after most readers have probably worked out what was happening. Still, though, I wouldn't say it's so incongruous that, were I an uninformed reader, I'd instantly spot foul play or a horribly botched ending.