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Melanii

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So I'm writing my first draft of my major first WIP, and my writing seems so basic. XD I know I can edit later, so I keep trucking.

It just seems all "She walked over to here and sat down. He followed her, but crossed his arms instead. Resting her head upon the table, she closed her eyes. Watching her, he smiled."

It's always, she walked over, he sat down, she smiled, he did that, she did that, etc--and only the form of the sentence changes.

Is this normal? Is like to prepare myself for editing. XD
 

Filigree

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Try going more into your characters' heads while you're writing the 'generic' action. What are they thinking and feeling? What senses are engaged as they interact with the space and each other: scent, hearing, taste, small? What kinds of emotional feedback are triggered by those interactions?

But how you are feeling? Completely normal.
 

Dennis E. Taylor

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I'm working on my second WIP right now, and my style is just to brain-dump. I'm actually writing an entire sequence where the colony is talking about setting up a government and legal system because they have a guy who committed a crime. I'm writing everything, and I mean to the point where it's boring ME. But once the brain-dump is done and the story line is there, I'll go back and chop, rewrite, and clean up. No biggie.

I'm sure lots of people have other systems, but I don't think what process you use matters nearly as much as what you end up with when you're finished.
 

mirandashell

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Yep. Totally normal. Kicking your story into shape is the definition of editing.
 

veinglory

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I would suggest trying to see and describe the world thought your character's senses, rather than acting like an external stage director.
 

Roxxsmom

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So many ways to write. I'd second the people who say that it can be helpful to describe what the pov character is perceiving, reflecting on and feeling as well. But this may be a layer you're better at adding once you block out the what, where and how of your story.

And there are writing experts who insist that you're supposed to stay the hell out of your characters' heads. No matter what style you use, someone won't like it. I think it really comes down to what sort of point of view you gravitate towards when writing. Maybe your natural style is more towards omniscient, or even objective?
 
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Melanii

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So let's say I have this passage:

Not long after, Sylphia skipped ahead of him and headed to her room. She changed into dry clothes silently, trying not to wake Millette. Pulling out the potion from Rhys, she took a couple of sips and got into bed, not sure what to expect. Sleep took her quickly, and Sylphia had no trouble that night.

I'm curious on how one would make it better. I'll want to know when I edit. I feel like a weirder who sees no way to improve, knowing I CAN improve. D:
 

jaksen

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Even if you are a reader, you need to read more. You need to immerse yourself in diff. writing styles - not to copy them, mind you - but to inspire you to try diff. things.

And why not put yourself in one of your character's place as you write? Imagine you are the young woman or old man or little kid. Now what do you see, say, feel? How do you move, sit, run, react, smile, frown, etc.? And when done, read everything aloud. Sound good? Then keep writing.
 

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It really depends on the purpose of the passage.

You say she has no idea what to expect from sipping the potion, but what might be missing is what she hopes for, or what she fears might happen as a consequence of taking it. When passages feel bland, it's often because the character's wishes or motivations are being omitted or glossed over.

Small example, but why doesn't she want to awaken Milette? Simple courtesy, or is she keeping a secret from Milette, or does Milette get all nasty when she's woken up? A little hint at the reason for her being so careful might add a bit to the tension.

And why is she taking a potion when she doesn't have any idea what to expect? Seems a bit silly. Doesn't she at least hope it will do something? Is there anything she might be afraid of? Even if that's already been revealed, this might be a place to show the apprehension, the butterflies in the stomach, the last minute second thoughts, or even her self recriminations about how silly she's probably being and she really shouldn't be expecting anything.

But it's hard to say for sure without a larger context. Maybe it's just a little connecting passage that doesn't need a lot of detail. It's not always bad to summarize things. I mean, if it's just the fantasy equivalent of nyquil or something, then it might not need more than a passing mention, if that.
 
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Melanii

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Even if you are a reader, you need to read more. You need to immerse yourself in diff. writing styles - not to copy them, mind you - but to inspire you to try diff. things.

I'm on my phone but I wanted to mention that I feel like I have the worst time remembering how great certain books are written, despite knowing it was good. Like I'll read something and be like "this is great or beautiful", then hours later or the next day I forget the style and prose. So it feels like learned nothing.

This may be why I think I write so basically. XD
 

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Now that I have an e-reader, I tend to bookmark pages when I read something I think is really well done. Then I can find it again later if I want to study it in more depth.

I sometimes pull books I love out when I'm stuck writing, so I often have a stack next to my computer. That's one thing that's cool about an e-reader. I can have dozens of books right next to me with bookmarked scenes. I don't copy other writer's styles, but it can be useful to see how a writer handles, say, a sneaky transition, or prolonged dialog, or a complicated fight scene. It gives me an idea how to work it into my own approach.

There was one I just marked where the writer had two characters engaged in a deep, intense conversation while other things were going on around them. I often feel like I have trouble dealing with that sort of thing in my own writing without making it become too talking heads and losing the sense of setting entirely without breaking the pov or simply the flow of the back and forth. So a light bulb went on over my head when I read this scene, but I knew I wouldn't remember it later, so I just bookmarked it and read on.
 

Anna_Hedley

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It's totally normal. I think the important thing with the first draft is just to get it done. Write your story from beginning to end. I always find my first couple of drafts are very sparse; a lot of action and dialogue but very little reaction from the characters, and not much description. I add layers as I edit. Or try to, at least.
 

starrykitten

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I agree that it's perfectly normal at this stage in the game.

One thing I would suggest if you want to punch up your language a bit is, when you sit down to write, spend a little bit of time first reading a writer whose prose crackles with electricity. (Nabokov does this for me, as does Toni Morrison, but those are two of my own examples, and you probably have your own.) Then maybe some of what you learn from them will likely trickle into your own work.

Best of luck!
 

Jamesaritchie

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Normal, yes. Good, no, not usually. It is normal to use all these directions and movements. Doing so, however, tends to be boring as old dishwater. Keep an eye on it, look for times when you can skip all the movements and get to the real action of the scene.

XD I know I can edit later, so I keep trucking.

Yes, you can always edit later. Everyone says so, which means it must be true. This, of course, is why slush piles are filled with wonderfully written stories that were edited later, and that all become great, publishable books after they were edited later.

Editing later is a great idea, but it only works if you have something that's already reasonably good to work with.

This may be moot because it's entirely possible that good writers can't write really poorly, even in unedited first drafts, and that poor writers can't write really well, even after a thousand drafts, but I've never been comfortable with "you can always edit later."

Of course you can edit later, but what will you be editing? Will it be a hundred thousand words that need work, but that aren't horrible, or a hundred thousand words that suck in every possible way, and on every possible page? If you can write well, why not do so on the first pass? Is writing well too difficult?

How about editing just one chapter right now? Just one average length chapter. If you can turn it into good writing, good story, and good character later, you should be able to do the same right now. If you can, then facing an entire novel of such editing won't be daunting when the thing is finished. If you can't. then facing 100,000 words of such editing isn't going to work, and you need to back up and find out what the problem is right now.
 

featherpen87

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[FONT=&quot]I can relate to this! I certainly felt that some of my writing wasn’t what I wanted it to be when I started to do some of my editing. When I just got into editing it that quickly changed. [/FONT]
 

Debbie V

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