What's the worst song ever?

willietheshakes

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That's a great song (although overplayed.) "Paul is a real estate manger who never had time for a wife, and he's talking with Davy, whose still in the navy, and probably will be for life." That's a perfect lyric – in one short sentence you get a complete picture of two different bar flys.

Except that Paul isn't a manager -- he's a real estate NOVELIST, which I think adds considerably more depth to the portrait (and brings this thread solidly back into the AW fold).
 

Hittman

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he's a real estate NOVELIST, which I think adds considerably more depth to the portrait (and brings this thread solidly back into the AW fold).
You're right, my mistake, and a big one.

The point is you can really see those two people – you know all about them, their personality, what they look like, how they act – from a half sentence each. That's some damn good writing.
 

Xelebes

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Worst music? I have two candidates. These are also the worst music clips. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPnGPIMUnus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWOzUzJd6wM

I'm going to bump this thread because for some reason, I've been doing a bit of research on the first video. The second video is a spoof of Eastern European disco from the 1980s by an Australian comedy duo.

The first video is Armi Ja Danni - Tahdon olla sulle hellä. The Finnish popular dance crazes are a bit different. When we did the Congo lines, they did the Letkejenkka - which is what the line movements are based on. The Letkajenkka is still a popular dance, though not as dominating at the time. They also throw in the Finnish tango, a slower, less aggressive variation of the tango. The composition is a bit interesting, but compared to the repertoire of Finnish music, reflects their Schlager scene quite well during that period.

The background story adds to the facepalm a bit. Armi Aavikko was Miss Finland and had been put together with Danny (Ilkka Lipsanen) for the same reason that Anita Dobson would be put on British television to sing. The two, being man and women would have an affair. Danny was already married and Armi was 19 at the time, Danny couldn't offer and would eventually lead to Armi's life crashing and would not be seen in public life after 1980, dying of pneumonia twenty years later. Show business is just as crushing in Helsinki as it is in Hollywood.
 
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emax100

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Starship - We Built This City on Rock and Roll
Europe - The Final Countdown
Aqua - Barbie Girl
Garaldo - Rico Suave
Color Me Badd - I Wanna Sex You Up
Kris Kross - Jump Jump
Along with the ubiquitous Achy Breaky Heart, that about covers it
 

Andieee

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Miley Cyrus - We Can't Stop.
Also, anything by or with Pitbull. 'cause I hate that guy with a passion.
 

J.S.F.

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Hotel California is a classic. Period. End stop.

Bad is anything by Rebecca Black. Friday made me long for the apocalypse.

Achy Breaky Heart is vomitous. No other reason need be given.

Can't Touch This (and don't want to) by someone who's thankfully faded largely from public view--and the world is better for it.

Anything by L'il Wayne

Let's see, who else have I left out? Probably a lot of lousy artists, but those are standout bads. Much as I dislike Miley Cyrus' live performances and her 'tude towards things, I can't hate her voice. She's worked hard to improve her singing ability, so even though Wrecking Ball is a train wreck of a song and video, her singing voice is still quite decent, IMHO.
 

Wilde_at_heart

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There's some stiff competition but for me it would have to be one of the following ...

House of Pain Jump Around
Fat Boy Slim F**king in Heaven
Donovan Hurdy Gurdy Man
Tiny Tim Tiptoe through the Tulips
 

CrastersBabies

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Hotel California is a classic. Period. End stop.

Yeah this is a big wtf to me.

I will say that every time I hear the B52's sing LOVE SHACK, I want to hurl myself off a cliff. But I wouldn't call it the WORST SONG EVER. Just one that I hate with the intensity of a thousand suns.
 
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chompers

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Some song by Jewel where the words are like, "The cat goes meow, meow, meow, meow." No, ya think??
 

Xelebes

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There's some stiff competition but for me it would have to be one of the following ...

House of Pain Jump Around
Fat Boy Slim F**king in Heaven
Donovan Hurdy Gurdy Man
Tiny Tim Tiptoe through the Tulips

Tiptoe Through the Tulips is a 1920s Tin Pan Alley classic. How dare you!

Tiny Tim just does a hilarious take on it.
 

Maggie Maxwell

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I am probably one of the easiest people to please with music. 90% of the songs in this thread, I enjoy or at least tolerate, and the other 10% are songs I don't know.

But you couldn't pay me to sit through Pearl Jam's Last Kiss. Wikipedia informs me it's a cover. Don't care, it's a terrible song, and that's the version the radio plays until I turn it off.
 

xDream

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The problem with talking about bad music is that a lot of songs nowadays have awful messages or don't mean anything at all (Nicki Minaj's Anaconda, for example), but they sure are catchy.

.. does that make me a horrible person?
 

TessB

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Biz Markie, 'Just a Friend.' He can't sing, the lyrics are awful. I love a whoooole lot of crappy music (actually paid money for Samantha Fox CDs back in the day), and I turn the radio off on that one every time. It's an assault on the eardrums and I can't fathom how it got popular.
 

Xelebes

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meowzbark

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Big Yellow Taxi by Counting Crows

A Bay Bay by Hurricane Chris

Crank that by Soulja Boy
 

cornflake

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I haven't gone back through all 200+ posts but I'm confused. Why are there 200+ posts? Didn't the thread end once someone said Macarthur Park or Muskrat Love (seriously, how fucking high were the people who wrote those?) and then everyone agreed?
 

Fruitbat

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Ha! I saw the thread title and thought Muskrat Love, then found it mentioned first thing.
 
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J.S.F.

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Just a Friend had to be mentioned and that took 200 posts to get there.

---

Wow, you and Fruitbat just had to bring back bad memories with those song mentions, didn't you? ;)

Justin Beiber...anything by Justin Beiber. He's Canadian, making me ashamed to be one. Take him, please. Give him to N. Korea. Please.

Come at me. :D