Comedy Cabaret--2012 Road Trip

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Silent Rob

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A gas station in Mississippi was trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying, "Free Lurve with Fill-Up". Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free lurve. The owner told haggis to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free lurve. Haggis then guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry, no lurve this time."

A week later, the same redneck, along with a buddy, cray, pulled in for a fill-up. Again he asked for his free lurve. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. Haggis guessed 2 this time. Again the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free lurve this time."

As they were driving away, haggis said to his buddy cray, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free lurve." cray replied, "No it ain't, haggis ray. It ain't rigged ---- mrs. qW done gone won twice just last week."
 

regdog

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Sure, here you go.

macaroniandcheese.jpg
 

KellyAssauer

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Speaking of cheese...

What's the chance of a Tot siting today?
Ya know,
since it's her birthday and all...

:D
 

CassandraW

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Huh. Everything looks normal. I'd expected to see all kinds of cray-wrought havoc. What a forgiving guy! Maybe he decided to abstain in honor of tot's birthday. Or maybe he really is all about love, peace, and butterfly kisses.
 

cray

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i am.




*looks at cassandra from the reflection while standing in front of mirror polishing pip*


i knew today was going to be a great day when i woke up at 3:49am with the sun in my face!
 

CassandraW

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i am.




*looks at cassandra from the reflection while standing in front of mirror polishing pip*


i knew today was going to be a great day when i woke up at 3:49am with the sun in my face!

Are you in Finland? Or does your pip glow in the dark?
 

cray

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ha.
actually i eventually came to realize that it was cray jr. holding a flashlight 4 inches from my eyes.
'dad?'
'i can't see!'
'dad?'
'GET THE LIGHT OUT OF MY FACE!'
'the tooth fairy came!'

*cray jr. proceeds to lay out three crisp one dollar bills on the bed*


'great! go back to bed. it's still dark out.'

'will you put me back in bed?'



so, i walk cray jr to bed, tuck him in and he says, 'i really thought there would be more money.'

'well, maybe the tooth fairy is saving up for some zipp 808's for his bike? go to sleep.'
 

parumpdragon

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Nice.

I once got a twenty from the tooth fairy. Long story. :D
 

CassandraW

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ha.
actually i eventually came to realize that it was cray jr. holding a flashlight 4 inches from my eyes.
'dad?'
'i can't see!'
'dad?'
'GET THE LIGHT OUT OF MY FACE!'
'the tooth fairy came!'

*cray jr. proceeds to lay out three crisp one dollar bills on the bed*


'great! go back to bed. it's still dark out.'

'will you put me back in bed?'



so, i walk cray jr to bed, tuck him in and he says, 'i really thought there would be more money.'

'well, maybe the tooth fairy is saving up for some zipp 808's for his bike? go to sleep.'


:ROFL:

I like Cray Jr.'s style.

Three bucks a tooth seems like a good deal to me. I think I used to get a shiny quarter.
 

CassandraW

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A dime for me. Then again, my father wouldn't have given a toothpick to a starving woodpecker.

And I was one of those obnoxious little tykes who, at age 5, tells her little brother that there really isn't a Santa or an Easter Bunny. I'm not sure I would've given me a quarter.
 

Cella

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ha.
actually i eventually came to realize that it was cray jr. holding a flashlight 4 inches from my eyes.
'dad?'
'i can't see!'
'dad?'
'GET THE LIGHT OUT OF MY FACE!'
'the tooth fairy came!'

*cray jr. proceeds to lay out three crisp one dollar bills on the bed*


'great! go back to bed. it's still dark out.'

'will you put me back in bed?'



so, i walk cray jr to bed, tuck him in and he says, 'i really thought there would be more money.'

'well, maybe the tooth fairy is saving up for some zipp 808's for his bike? go to sleep.'
:roll:

A dime for me. Then again, my father wouldn't have given a toothpick to a starving woodpecker.
:roll:

I used to get a half-dollar medallion.
 

cray

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we used to get a handful of change,...
it rarely amounted to more than a dollar.
 

KellyAssauer

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'well, maybe the tooth fairy is saving up for some zipp 808's for his bike? go to sleep.'

With tons of outdoor and recreation leisure areas and services where I live (30 minutes to Camp Woodward) I often get to see families traveling in and out of our area...

and having known some bmxers and Mt bike racers...

Nothing pisses me off more than seeing the 4-bike rack on Beemer SUV next to me at the gas station carrying two top of the line IronAges (Canondales/Giants/Treks/Biancas) for Mommy & Daddy and two of the cheapest POS wallbikes for the kids.

I just wanna smack them stupid.

*you've been warned* ;)
 

Cella

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With tons of outdoor and recreation leisure areas and services where I live (30 minutes to Camp Woodward) I often get to see families traveling in and out of our area...

and having known some bmxers and Mt bike racers...

Nothing pisses me off more than seeing the 4-bike rack on Beemer SUV next to me at the gas station carrying two top of the line IronAges (Canondales/Giants/Treks/Biancas) for Mommy & Daddy and two of the cheapest POS wallbikes for the kids.

I just wanna smack them stupid.

*you've been warned* ;)
Kids ruin everything.




They also outgrow most stuff.



I'd rather put the money put out for nicer things when the kids will be able to see a lot of use, personally.


:)
 

cray

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With tons of outdoor and recreation leisure areas and services where I live (30 minutes to Camp Woodward) I often get to see families traveling in and out of our area...

and having known some bmxers and Mt bike racers...

Nothing pisses me off more than seeing the 4-bike rack on Beemer SUV next to me at the gas station carrying two top of the line IronAges (Canondales/Giants/Treks/Biancas) for Mommy & Daddy and two of the cheapest POS wallbikes for the kids.

I just wanna smack them stupid.

*you've been warned* ;)


kids grow out of bikes in about 4 months.
there's almost no reason to get them a good one until they're old enough where it will be used for a few years.
 

cray

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I'd rather put the money put out for nicer things when the kids will be able to see a lot of use, personally.

she's talking about zipp 808's here.
i mean, the kids can personally watch me ride with those wheels on.








cray, accepting donations.
 

KellyAssauer

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When you've seen POS wallbikes snap seatposts clear off
the first day the kid has it...

or derailleurs fold in half and jam the back wheel to a dead stop
tossing the tweener into traffic...

And you know darn well that a entry level 20 inch bike from a reputable manufacturer at the local shop will probably get 5 years of reliable safe use... the 300 dollar investment seems minor compared to the kid's life.

But, that's just me...
and I have a lot of trust in natural selection.

:D
 

Cella

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When you've seen POS wallbikes snap seatposts clear off
the first day the kid has it...

or derailleurs fold in half and jam the back wheel to a dead stop
tossing the tweener into traffic...

And you know darn well that a entry level 20 inch bike from a reputable manufacturer at the local shop will probably get 5 years of reliable safe use... the 300 dollar investment seems minor compared to the kid's life.

But, that's just me...
and I have a lot of trust in natural selection.

:D

So unless I can spend $300 dollars on a bike for my kid then he shouldn't ride one at all?

That seems a bit extreme to me.
 

KellyAssauer

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So unless I can spend $300 dollars on a bike for my kid then he shouldn't ride one at all?

Variables:

It really does depends on his/her age.

He... might be more likely to do more 'adventurous' riding beginning at about age 12-13...

I mean I still have the bike my M&D bought me when I was 10, and oddly my Mom still has the bike her parents bought her new when she was 11... so...um...

I'm getting uncomfortably close to making a perhaps unfounded gender biased statement here... :D

A really good boys 20incher that might be a year or two old can go for 100 in local want ads.

;)
 
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