Instalove...Does it turn you off?

Instalove sucks, but I have to admit it's been awhile since I've read a good romance in YA. I don't like it, when you can tell who the heroine will end up with form the very beginning. Nowadays you can tell just by reading the blurb on the back. It's always the handsome new guy with the secret.
It takes all the tension out of the romance and all of the fun out of shipping.

Most of the time yes, but I've got to admit that the instalove in Twilight had me hooked. (I'm not starting a Twilight debate here!) There has to be a reason for it to be believable.

Insta-attraction is fine. Insta-you-are-the-one-and-I-would-die-for-you is only believable if your character has VERY low self-esteem. (In which case I'd still want to slap her.)

I have seen real people "instalove". If the characters are written as people for whom that would happen, it's fine.

I'm not against anything in literature. So long as they get me on the ride, I'm going down the big hill with my arms up.

Like anything else, it depends on how well the author sells it. I know of quite a few real-life occurrences of love at first sight (my parents included) on one hand; on the other, "It really happens all the time!" isn't a get-out-of-suspension-of-disbelief-free card. If the author wants the readers to believe the characters are instantly in love, they must convince them. Lots of people see lots of other people they find attractive all the time; a love-at-first-sight scenario absolutely must show us, the readers, why this time turns out different from every cute barista, cashier, and exchange student the MC randomly encounters in a day. It's only bad if it's badly done.

Because, IMO, as another person who's not all that big on romance most of the time, long courtships aren't any more convincing when they end with the readers still seeing no reason the characters are together beyond "the author says so."

ETA: For a good example of instalove, I'd bring up Deep Into the Heart of a Rose's romance between Miss Ashley and the Wicked Tinker. She's someone who can both literally and metaphorically see things other people can't, and he's a brilliant artist who has been unjustly made a pariah. She seeks him out after seeing an example of his work, and next the reader encounters them, they're the beta couple... but with their backgrounds, and the book's general dreamlike tone, that made sense to me.

(Fair disclosure, the story I'm writing plays with a few tropes, and one is insta-love. The hero and his LI kiss within ten minutes of meeting without even knowing each others' names... because they share a flaw of being extremely impulsive, and by the time the reader finds out about the kiss, they'll have seen both characters take far more reckless actions on the spur of the moment. However, the kiss isn't the point they actually fall in love. That takes the whole book to happen).

I guess it depends on the circumstances. I think there are cases where instalove would be believable--perhaps where the characters were in a situation where they felt a sense of urgency. Plus, in real life, my sister just fell in instalove, so I guess I'm more open to it now.

I'd very much like to see one done wherein the object of the MC's instalove really *is* actually a psychopathic, blood-drinking, malevolent vampire in the end and now she must stand up to and defeat him.

Now that would be pretty amazing.

My go-to fallback for this question is the ever-infuriating "it depends."

If it's written well and believably, and in very select circumstances? I can get behind it. If it's a shortcut used in place of building real attraction and characterization? Nah.

As a teenager, one of my favorite shows was Roswell, which had definite hints of instalove (male LI is secretly in love with protagonist but he is AN ALIEN, she gets shot, he uses his ALIEN POWERS to heal her, she is burdened with keeping his secret and becomes part of his circle, instant sparks). But it felt like more of a slow burn. She had a boyfriend, but was burdened with this big secret that tied her to someone else. They spend more time together, she realizes she's super attracted to him, she breaks up with her boyfriend so they can be together, queue three seasons of typical teen drama.

Instalove has to be done really well. When it is, I adore it. There is only one example I have ever found of it being done well enough that I enjoyed it thoroughly - it's in a romance novel called My Lord Murderer - one of the secondary characters rescues a young woman from a bad situation and they more or less fall desperately in love with each other on sight, but due to a variety of circumstances they end up parting ways without knowing each other's names or anything at all. Finally they are reunited through the major plot that affects the main characters, and it's awfully sweet and always makes me smile. The two characters are so overwhelmed by a sincere longing that has nothing to do with lust and they are left simply holding hands staring at one another, caught up in their closeness. It's refreshing because the main female love interest in the novel is incredibly graceless and rude and self centered and all-around dislikable but the secondary subplot is so sweet. I really enjoy it. I think part of what I like is that there is a certain amount of "oh he's handsome/oh she's so lovely" but there's no pants-tightening or anything and honestly that whole "she's so hot I must love her" thing in romance gets pretty old.

(I had a horrid flu over the last week, so wound up reading all of the old romance novels my grandfather gave me; he is a connoisseur of romance novels going back decades)

maybegenius said:

If it's written well and believably, and in very select circumstances? I can get behind it. If it's a shortcut used in place of building real attraction and characterization? Nah.

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Too many use it as the shortcut. That's a good way to put it.

veinglory said:

I have seen real people "instalove".

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Especially teenagers.

Re-watching Snow White with the kids I was amazed at how little they actually spend time together before they decide they're in love. Seriously, Snow White and her prince just see each other, and they're in love. At least Cinderella danced with the guy and had a conversation, and let's face it, her life sucked anyways so she should totally head off with him whatever the reason. Same with Sleeping Beauty, they at least talk and dance, and they have the added level of having been betrothed as kids.

Anyways, my point is why did it take me 30 years to realize that Snow White could not possibly be in love with her prince? Because Disney sold it. They presented it in a way that I thought, of course they're in love and isn't it romantic. Does that always work? No, but it can be done.

As a Disney aside, I loved how they talked about insta-love in Frozen. Brilliant.

Niiicola said:

Especially teenagers.

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I think teenagers often confuse attraction for love. Attraction can be very instant.

Chazemataz said:

I'd very much like to see one done wherein the object of the MC's instalove really *is* actually a psychopathic, blood-drinking, malevolent vampire in the end and now she must stand up to and defeat him.

Now that would be pretty amazing.

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It's not instalove or YA, but Robin McKinley's SUNSHINE features a relationship between a young woman and a pretty gross vampire. He's not glamorized in any way, which is pretty cool.

kenpochick said:

I think teenagers often confuse attraction for love. Attraction can be very instant.

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Well yes, but in their minds it's love, so it works for the purposes of books. That's one of the things I love about YA -- it's often not the most rational, but is more emotionally raw/beautiful as a result.

I think, sometimes, insta-attraction (which is very, very real and legitimate) is mistaken for insta-love. Savvy readers pick up traces of insta-attraction and automatically flip the ABORT ABORT INSTA-LOVE switch. They've probably been burned by a few truly bad insta-love stories and are overly-sensitive to it.

Insta-attraction, though, is probably what happens to most of us when we meet someone we find gorgeous/hot/intriguing. You see them and just have this "Oh, wow. Look at you" moment. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now, but I've known of him for like eight years. When I was fourteen, I would see him around town and get butterflies in my tummy every time. It always felt like there was something there, something between us even though we'd never even spoken.

Turns out, I was right. He found me on a dating site, mentioned a few fandom-type things we have in common and a few mutual acquaintances, and then said "also I've seen you around a lot and basically always liked you."

It's real, but your starting point is "predisposed to like you, super attracted to you" not "I love you madly and I would die for you." So as long as it isn't over-dramatized, I can buy it easily.

Insta-crush, no. Insta-love -- as in I only met you last week but I'd die for you -- yes.

EDIT: Fixed!

I don't mind insta-love when done well, especially when the writer then takes an unflinching look at how, a lot of the time, insta-love quickly sours when the characters find out that their newly-found soulmate has a bad habit of, say, farting loudly after eating cheese, or has a gambling addiction, or whatever. I really like it when insta-love is taken past the honeymoon stage and forced to face problems that don't just stem from external forces (i.e. other people trying to break them apart) but from internal forces (i.e. their personalities not matching up and so on).

Insta-attraction is totally fine by me. I'm a lecherous hippo. I'm instantly attracted to hot guys all the time. Mr. Putt knows this and is always saying, "As long as you know you have the hottest guy around..."