How personal do you get in your blog?

juniper

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So - the thread title is my question - "How personal do you get in your blog?"

I've read some popular blogs that are intensely personal, and others that daydream, and others that just chat about daily experiences.

Since the internet is 4-evah, how do you feel about spilling your guts for the universe to savor?

I'm rather paranoid about it. And am thinking of starting my blog up again, but don't have much to say about big issues; my thoughts are somewhat focused on my own dealings right now.

Hmm.
 

ap123

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My blog is a mix, personal, political, writing, and some nonsense. ;)

I'm fairly open, but do try to keep in mind a) it's forever, b) like any other writing, I hope for the posts to be interesting to an audience larger than myself, and c) I post with the privacy of others, particularly my children, in mind.

I think it's a personal comfort level, what works for one blogger won't necessarily feel ok for the next.
 

kkbe

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I've waffled on that subject more times than I can count. I've shared some things that happened to me, health things and pain and stuff. I needed support and I got it. Very grateful for that. But I'm mindful of the permanence of a blog and the fact that anybody can read the thing. I've tried to temper my more personal posts with posts about the writing process and querying, broaching some of the doubts and mindless minutia (aka: waiting) relative to that. The fine lady who posted right above me has found the perfect mix, I think. :)
 
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Maryn

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I don't like to reveal anything about myself which would allow someone to find me or any family members. But within that level of impersonal, I feel free to spill my guts.

Maryn, messy
 

00Pepper

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I started blogging as a way to preserve memories and to share what was going on in my life with family and friends. I've written about some personal things but mostly it's just what's happening in my world.
 

V.J. Allison

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I have two blogs on the same account. One is the one I have listed in my signature here, and the other one is one I hardly use.

The one in my siggy is my main one, it details my writing journey, reviews of any live music shows I attend and a few other things, like grumbling about computer woes and so forth. I don't get overly personal in it, because I don't believe in airing dirty laundry on a public blog. I did that a few times a few years back and am still paying the price for it today. (Lesson learned!) Even though most people who read my blog know me personally to some extent, I still don't like posting stuff publicly that would be overly personal for the most part.

The other blog is to document my son's journey with autism and his accomplishments, setbacks and other things related to it. It's set up mostly for parents of kids on the spectrum like mine, to know they are not alone and to let them know that it IS possible for a kid who was as non responsive for four years like my son was, to open up, grow, learn and succeed. If I can give hope to one parent out there, that blog's job is done. I post on that one once or twice a year. Son has made a lot of achievements since his diagnosis, but if I posted each time he did something to bust another autism myth, I'd be posting sometimes five or six times daily. Best to jot things down in a word doc and write up a longer entry every few months. ;)
 

melindamusil

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Ohhh boy...
When I first started blogging, many moons ago, I was in college and wrote about stuff going on in my life. Then I moved overseas and wrote about those experiences... which proved to be pretty challenging because I discovered I was living and working with a non-profit organization that was less than ethical.

After I moved back to the US, I started to do paid blogging... then around that same time I had a couple of other major upheavals in my life, stuff that I really couldn't blog about without offending the individuals involved and making my life much more difficult. One day I looked at my blog and realized it was just a really bad billboard, and I was not proud of it at all.

I took down the blog and haven't tried again since. I want to blog, but... I just feel like I don't have much to say without becoming too personal. I fear winding up in that situation again. And now that I have become an official (albeit unpublished) author, I worry about harming my future book sales, or publishing anything that's not reallyreallyreally good.
 

NateSean

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There are two lines for me. Would I talk about it in public and would I care if my family, close friends, or coworkers found out about it. There is a time and a place for every subject and not all of those subjects have to go in my blog.

If the blog is a story of someone, anyone, positive or negative, then I change their name every single time. I could literally be writing twelve stories about the same person and give them a different name every time. The same goes for where I work, since it's the source of 95% of my entries.

When deciding how personal to get, keep three basic rules in mind.

1: Don't write anything you don't want anyone to read.

2: Be prepared for possible unintended consequences.

3: Moderate your comments.
 

JulianneQJohnson

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I'm fairly personal with my blog. I share bits of my life and my feelings and opinion. All the pictures on my blog are ones that I have taken. That doesn't mean I'm not careful. I don't share things about family and friends. I don't speak specifically of where I live. I don't specifically share where I work, unless it's a past job. I don't air the dirty laundry of family or friends. In short, I'm happy to share of myself, but am constantly aware that what I write is there forever, and can effect those close to me if I share too much about them.
Even so, write personal stuff and one is bound to offend someone. I once wrote about the trials of moving, and a family member took it personally and got angry about it. It wasn't about them, it was about me, but words are easy to misconstrue.
 
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TB4me2000

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I'm a very conversational writer, so I tend to use anecdotes from my personal life. That being said, my "website" blog (which doesn't have its own domain yet, poor neglected thing) is more professional and my blog blog is more personal. Ingenue Diaries is mostly essays and musings about things I've experienced, or reactions to current events. I try to keep in mind what I would want other people to read and know about me, and what I think people in my life wouldn't mind if I shared.
 

ElaineA

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I'm pretty far to one side on the privacy spectrum. My blog isn't obviously associated with my name, I don't do Facebook/linkedin-style networking. The question for me was "Why am I starting a blog?" and the answer is so that if my dream comes true and an agent reads my query and is curious enough about me to look me up, I want there to be something out there that isn't fiction. So I have a very abstract audience in mind and I make that my main parameter.

I also gave myself a very broad "theme," so within that there are personal stories, how I look at the world or things that have surprised me. But nothing intensely personal, and, most importantly nothing hard core negative.

As others have said, your personal comfort zone must rule all. Your own "dealings" can be made to feel less personal by the angle you choose to write them from, and still be very interesting for others to read. I think "spill my guts" is the key phrase. There's a line there. You just have to stay on the comfortable side of it.
 

Williamschmit

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Well i don;t really think so that one must reveal something relating himself in blog but rather to stay off topic one must simply just search on the web and make their way to be getting the right audience at their professional blog.
 
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juniper

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I'm pretty far to one side on the privacy spectrum. My blog isn't obviously associated with my name, I don't do Facebook/linkedin-style networking.

I read a few of your posts and really like your blog.

I think maybe what you said here could be key. My blog can be traced back to me personally, if someone connected the dots (as if anyone is that interested in me!). And I'm just paranoid enough to think about that.

Maybe I need to disconnect. Or keep a personal blog about my garden, vacation, etc for family/friends, and another one just for my thoughts/ideas, as yours seems to be.
 

Anna Spargo-Ryan

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My blog is highly personal. Mostly I talk at length about my experiences with mental illness, love, grief. I use my real name.

Nine times out of 10, the feedback is from people who are also struggling with depression or anxiety or something else and find some degree of solace or camaraderie in reading my blog. Often it's from people who aren't comfortable sharing their own experiences, but take comfort in seeing someone else do it. That's a pretty good reason to keep doing it, as far as I'm concerned.

Overshare may be a symptom of my brain malfunction, though ;)
 

Wilde_at_heart

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I don't like to reveal anything about myself which would allow someone to find me or any family members. But within that level of impersonal, I feel free to spill my guts.

Maryn, messy

I don't like to reveal anything about myself which would allow family members to find me :D
 

melindamusil

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My blog is highly personal. Mostly I talk at length about my experiences with mental illness, love, grief. I use my real name.

Nine times out of 10, the feedback is from people who are also struggling with depression or anxiety or something else and find some degree of solace or camaraderie in reading my blog. Often it's from people who aren't comfortable sharing their own experiences, but take comfort in seeing someone else do it. That's a pretty good reason to keep doing it, as far as I'm concerned.

Overshare may be a symptom of my brain malfunction, though ;)

I envy you. I've been "bit" so many times when I posted something personal on my blog... Even though I never, ever use anyone else's name and always change personal details, I've had (people who I thought were) friends and extended family members become really unreasonably angry with me. They'd attack me personally and do whatever they could to make my life miserable... Which often meant attacking my parents or sister. And yes, this has happened more than once. :(

Now whenever I try to blog, I become paralyzed by my fear of upsetting someone else. I don't care if they attack me, but I do NOT want them to come after my parents. So I don't really blog at all anymore.
 

Anna Spargo-Ryan

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I envy you. I've been "bit" so many times when I posted something personal on my blog... Even though I never, ever use anyone else's name and always change personal details, I've had (people who I thought were) friends and extended family members become really unreasonably angry with me. They'd attack me personally and do whatever they could to make my life miserable... Which often meant attacking my parents or sister. And yes, this has happened more than once. :(

Now whenever I try to blog, I become paralyzed by my fear of upsetting someone else. I don't care if they attack me, but I do NOT want them to come after my parents. So I don't really blog at all anymore.

I get those too. Once or twice someone has commented that I should have aborted my children, should kill myself, am a bad parent, etc.

I'm sorry that experience has turned you away from blogging :( People can be so nasty.
 

JustSarah

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I mostly just talk about the craft of writing, sense I really don't feel comfortable talking about personal details about myself online. (Specifically related to gender expression, and stuff like that.)
 

melindamusil

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I get those too. Once or twice someone has commented that I should have aborted my children, should kill myself, am a bad parent, etc.

I'm sorry that experience has turned you away from blogging :( People can be so nasty.

Thanks Anna. I haven't blogged in awhile, but I actually still want to blog. I just struggle to find something to say. The "events" in my life are pretty low-key... I don't have a "real" job, kids, or pets to write about, and I honestly don't feel like I'm enough of an expert in anything to be offering advice on a regular basis.
 

Shadow_Ferret

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I'm not sure what you mean by personal. I tell stories from my childhood. When my brother died, I did a two-parter on him. I am very open about my ADHD and some other struggles. I'm open about my political, social, and religious views.

But I don't, or try not to, air dirty laundry. I don't believe I've ever written about say, my in-laws and my opinion of them (although I may from time to time write about what an ass my father was, now deceased). Nor do I write about things my own family does that irritate the crap out of me.

To ne, the first group of things may be personal but they define me and help anyone who cares to understand me better.

The last part isn't anyone's business.
 

Laer Carroll

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I was impressed when I read through the previous responses. There’s a lot of wisdom shown, and a wide variety of responses. Anyone reading them can likely find a path that feels right for them.

Let me change the focus a little, to a blog whose main purpose is professional. Most of us in these forums are authors, some just beginning, some already with a growing list of books to sell. What kind of blog do we need, and how personal can we get within that framework?

Nora Roberts and several other well-known writers have web sites which are good examples. They have three parts. The Home page is a blog but with short posts, mostly announcements of new books or events such as book tours. The second part is several pages with stuff such as a bio, writing samples, and backgrounds for some of their more famous books (some fictional, some historical). The third part is a chatty blog.

That last is where the author gets most personal. It’s stuff about daily events such as the youngest daughter starting kindergarten, the cat having kittens, and movies or TV shows about which they are excited. It may get more deeply personal, such as a loss in the family or bouts of depression.

But rarely do these blogs go into their mostly deeply personal selves, especially those about relationships with other people. For several reasons. One of which is the fact that there are some sick people in this world. Every week you can read about a serial killer murdering people, or some such. And some of these people are online, ready to attack others in the most hurtful ways they can.

Lastly, a practical note. I’ve found that WordPress is the most flexible free hosting platform available. It makes it easy to have the kind of three-part web site I’ve described.
 

dantefrizzoli

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I definitely think it depends on the situation or the emotions in that moment.
 

atthebeach

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These posts are great, as it is very important to decide beforehand what type of online presence you want, because once out there, you really cannot go back, at least in general.

I do love the idea of keeping everything private enough that people could not find me or my family, but I have chosen the life of an educator, so that is just not an option for me. I have a website as faculty in a secondary classroom (therefore revealing the exact school I teach at), and also a faculty profile at the university where I teach.

In addition, as an academic, I need to be mindful that everything relates to my professional online presence (and really, to me, also as an academic author). What this means is I do have a friends-only Facebook, but those lines blur when colleagues are added, so I am even careful what I post there.

On blogs, I also love Wordpress. And while I know it is a blogging platform, I use it as my professional website under my real name, for many reasons, not relevant for this discussion (but my own domain, separate from where I teach).

So I have to always think, does each post enhance me as an author and educator? So for me, while always professional, I still personalize it, I still include my own "voice", just limiting the topics to relevant ones there.

My suggestion is for you to be sure you do not mind fans or family seeing what you post, because at some point this may very well happen.

And in case anyone mentioned anonymous blogging (I don't recall right now), I did that years ago under a Pseudonym. It was pretty successful, and I am proud of what I wrote. But, while the website/blog is no longer there, I can still do a google search and see people talking about my posts (it was a personal development focus). Now these were good comments, but the point is that the information is still out there, and could possibly end up linked to me someday. But I knew that going in, and really I would be fine if that happened (although, perhaps a few more years first, if I could choose, so it is connected once I begin bringing out some of my non-academic writing that I have had on hold for a while).

My point is kind of what we say here all the time: own your words. I think that sums it up. Otherwise, what they are is up to you. I sometimes see people using a blog to vent, without realizing it is like writing all your private thoughts in your diary, and then posting them outside for everyone. But, as long as you were writing for everyone anyway, then go for it! Just know what you are choosing.
 
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slhuang

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I tend to err on the side of privacy.

It's actually difficult. I'd kinda like to be more personal. I get the best responses to my posts that are heartfelt and relay intense personal anecdotes.

But I'm cautious. Anything I put out there can't be taken back, and I figure I can always share more later, if I choose to. It's a hard line to walk, as I know I'd be able to write better (and more) posts, and thus have a more popular blog, if I were willing to be more open, and a lot of times it's not that I'm even unwilling to talk about something in the moment but that I'm afraid there are ways I can't imagine that it could come back to bite me in the future. It's possible I'm paranoid, but I don't feel it's overly onerous for me to bet on the side of keeping some things to myself. :)

It is something I put a LOT of ongoing thought into, so I commiserate! Right now most of what I post is external commentary -- me looking out at the world and saying things about it, rather than talking specifically about myself. If that makes sense. :D