...Yes, you DO want to get creative with your tags. Yes, you DO want to use things other than said, replied and asked. Yes, you DO want to use exclamation points.
No. You
don't want to get creative with dialogue tags.
You'd be as well stripping naked, painting yourself purple and running across the rooftops singing, "Hello, hello, I'm an amateur!"
"The dog just ran off with my pants," the man said
vrs.
"The dog just ran off with my pants!" the man screamed
They paint very different pictures in the mind of the reader. The second one instantly gives a clear image of a man with some sort of emotional response. In the first you can't tell if he cares or not.
Um, no.
In the first sentence, I have the information I need. In the second, you're treating me like some sort of ming mong whose only brain cell is dying of loneliness and what's more, apparently I'm too stupid to get the meaning of your words so you have to beat me over the head with more.
And I'll say it again -
dialogue is never discrete. It's always taken in context. What surrounds it, enlightens it.
You're not writing for WRITERS, you're writing for READERS.
Yes. Readers. Not vegetables.
The picture you're painting is important if you want them to see the same image that you see.
I'm a reader. And I don't enjoy being patronised.
Read Kazuo Ishiguro's novels. He's a master of brevity and no-one can say he's not a professional.
I am constantly having to go through submissions and delete multiple lines of text when I do line edits for the magazine or our books, because the writer refuses to use something other that said and won't use exclamation points.
Doesn't sound like a magazine I'd ever want to submit to, then.
Which forces them to get wordy and descriptive when a single sentence like the above works perfectly well.
No.
Nothing forces you to get wordy or creative, apart from a mistaken sense of 'this will sound better'. It won't. The above sentence you gave as an example was diabolical.
First, find a thesaurus. An actual thesaurus, not an internet one. The internet is an evil distracting thing (so is the original Nintendo, but that's another story).
No. Don't. Thesauruses - thesaurii? - are evil things. If a word is not a natural part of your vocabulary and you have to go searching for it, it will seem tacked on to your writing, and make you look like a try-hard.
Use words you would normally use.
Even better, use words your
characters would normally use.
Second, I'm sure it's been said that 'said, asked, etc.' are not to be used. I think that (much like everything else in life) in moderation is okay. However, if there is an emotion that needs to be conveyed, then do so in the dialog tag.
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
And for clarity - NO.
Third, they really should be kept to a minimum..
Well yeah, you got that right!
it doesn't matter if you can actually shrug or giggle a word.
Excuse me?
This is a site for writers and you're telling us
it doesn't matter?
What matters is that you are painting the image of a person talking and giggling at the same time
Something which is impossible to do.
So, if you want to be as good as Dan Brown, carry on.
or shrugging while talking.
This is possible. But you do not 'shrug' dialogue. IMPOSSIBLE.
You can write:
"I really don't know." He said, and then giggled
Or you can write
"I really don't know," he giggled.
No. You can't write the second example.
Unless you want to look a bit...well, daft.
Both send the same image to the reader.
Yes. And I don't need to tell you what image you'd be sending if you used
that sentence in your writing.
That the person speaking is saying something and is also giggling
If I ever meet someone who can do that
at the same time, I'll be amazed.
And probably off my tits on acid, if you want the truth.
The second version is preferable.
IN WHAT UNIVERSE???
THE ONE WHERE DAN BROWN IS GOD???
The first requires the reader to have to think just a bit harder
Oh god forbid the reader should have to think.
True, and your examples are excellent. However, I was trying to make a point between a bland, boring sentence and one with more impact.
A scoop of vanilla ice cream is much more interesting with only one cherry on top than a plain scoop is, though not nearly as interesting as a scoop of vanilla ice cream with sprinkles, a dollop of whipped cream and a cherry on top.
Yeah.
When I eat ice cream I don't want to kill it with too many flavours.
Would you add every spice available to a meal, or enough to make it delicious?
...NeuroFizz is right on the money, as is ScarletPeaches.
Quoted to say thank you.
I'm not an editor or a ghostwriter, but I am a published author. I write for readers, and I'm careful not to use adverbs and wonky speaker tags like giggled and growled, LOL!
My agent would cut me loose if I butchered my dialogue like that. Fifteen years of writing has taught me much, and I could never buy what you're selling.
AMEN.
You may not be an editor or a ghostwriter, but hell - we're all writers here. And all readers
I hope and we know bad writing when we see it.
I sometimes stick a character's name into a snipet of dialogue to clarify that the other one is speaking
I do that too...however, a nasty habit I have it ending up writing scenes with three characters, which makes for some sticky situations clarity-wise. Dialogue attribution, names, actions...ick.
But I get through it, I think.
Clarity and brevity are the names of the game here
Who decided that whisper is allowed?
Ray did.
How did they come up with the number three for how many are allowed afterwards?
Ask Ray.
What happens if someone uses four?
Ray deep-sixes them.
What happens if someone uses four and the publisher goes ahead and publishes it anyway?
The world explodes.