The Festivus season really seems to magnify what's missing if family or close friends have passed away or you're estranged from them. Is anyone else ready for it to be over?
Debbie Downer
Debbie Downer
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Bah Humbug
- Thread starter Fruitbat
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Sat Nam! (Literally "Truth Name"--a Sikh greeting)
It helps to focus on what and who you still have. And to enjoy giving. And to enjoy the music. And to enjoy the scents of the season. All those things just for what they are, to see them as a gift.
Blessings,
Siri Kirpal
It helps to focus on what and who you still have. And to enjoy giving. And to enjoy the music. And to enjoy the scents of the season. All those things just for what they are, to see them as a gift.
Blessings,
Siri Kirpal
I'm sorry to hear that you're having a rough one this year, Fruity. 
My family has had quite a few very smooth holiday seasons in recent years. It's a little uncomfortable to admit it, but most of the relatives that passed away were the ones who made this time of year an extreme challenge for the rest of us. I sincerely miss every single one of 'em, but they almost always brought a large Santa Claus-size sack of negative memories and old grudges to the annual Christmas bash. I mean, stuff like "I've never forgiven him for that time in 1953, back in Brooklyn, when he left Christmas dinner early because he had a date with that little tramp, Lilly Goldstein. Grandmother Mulligan was in tears!" Those kinds of things.
Seems like everyone left in my family circle is a "reason for the season" type of person, or a fun-loving hedonist who makes a point of enjoying every holiday party, or someone who's willing to stash away their bad vibes for at least one day every year, for the sake of everyone else. (I'm pretty much a combination of all-three, in case anyone's wondering).
So, Fruitbat...Santa Vito sez, "Happy Holidays to you!"
My family has had quite a few very smooth holiday seasons in recent years. It's a little uncomfortable to admit it, but most of the relatives that passed away were the ones who made this time of year an extreme challenge for the rest of us. I sincerely miss every single one of 'em, but they almost always brought a large Santa Claus-size sack of negative memories and old grudges to the annual Christmas bash. I mean, stuff like "I've never forgiven him for that time in 1953, back in Brooklyn, when he left Christmas dinner early because he had a date with that little tramp, Lilly Goldstein. Grandmother Mulligan was in tears!" Those kinds of things.
Seems like everyone left in my family circle is a "reason for the season" type of person, or a fun-loving hedonist who makes a point of enjoying every holiday party, or someone who's willing to stash away their bad vibes for at least one day every year, for the sake of everyone else. (I'm pretty much a combination of all-three, in case anyone's wondering).
So, Fruitbat...Santa Vito sez, "Happy Holidays to you!"
I used to adore winter for the snow, and December for the Christmas music (I can remember the words better ), but I've grown to dislike this time of the year.
Everyone is so chaotic, and now that my family WANTS to spend the holiday together, we are separated by several states. ;_;
I just want this stuff to end.
On to 2015! But please, keep it in January forever.
), but I've grown to dislike this time of the year.Everyone is so chaotic, and now that my family WANTS to spend the holiday together, we are separated by several states. ;_;
I just want this stuff to end.
On to 2015! But please, keep it in January forever.
It's never a good time for a loved one to pass, but I do believe when it happens this time of year, it seems to magnify the pain. My grandfather passed away this time of year over 5 years ago now, but every year, I still think of him and ache with missing him and wishing my husband and daughter could have known him.
My mother and I are what you'd call estranged, and for the most part, I don't let it bother me. But it's harder to ignore it this time of year.
I'm so sorry you're having a rough time this year, but it will be over soon. *hugs*
My mother and I are what you'd call estranged, and for the most part, I don't let it bother me. But it's harder to ignore it this time of year.
I'm so sorry you're having a rough time this year, but it will be over soon. *hugs*
It's okay to feel that way. Accept it and know that January and a whole new year is only a week or so away.
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I've never gotten along well with this season.
Too many people who just see this as the SPENDSPENDSPEND season.
Too much of the oneupsmanship, the gimmie attitude.
Family never really got along, so we really didn't develop "traditions."
It seems to start earlier and earlier every year. (A store here had Christmas trees up in AUGUST! For frak's sake!)
Not enough daylight.
Too fricking cold.
Yeah, I could start to rattle off hundreds of excuses to dislike the season.
Instead, I state the obvious: My wish for the season is happiness, joy, and forgiveness for past wrongs.
This stops most people in their tracks.
Too many people who just see this as the SPENDSPENDSPEND season.
Too much of the oneupsmanship, the gimmie attitude.
Family never really got along, so we really didn't develop "traditions."
It seems to start earlier and earlier every year. (A store here had Christmas trees up in AUGUST! For frak's sake!)
Not enough daylight.
Too fricking cold.
Yeah, I could start to rattle off hundreds of excuses to dislike the season.
Instead, I state the obvious: My wish for the season is happiness, joy, and forgiveness for past wrongs.
This stops most people in their tracks.
OK...Now y'all done did it! I come from a dysfunctional family that, still in all, realized what familia is. And if I'd kept my stoopid mouth the hell shut, my little brother might still be alive. I heard the hard hit a mile away picking wild strawberries with my lil sis. Little did I know what it really meant. Now I have to live with that. Both sets of parents are long since dead, my siblings & best friends scattered to the 4 winds. My daughter took off to SoCal years ago & my 5 sons merely put up with me. They just don't friggin' get it. But there's still my little love, my little dove, that flew too close to the ground one day to alight with me. This one also describes her in my mind...from the late great Stevie Ray Vaughn!...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhKLTX7ugME
I've never gotten along well with this season.
Too many people who just see this as the SPENDSPENDSPEND season.
Too much of the oneupsmanship, the gimmie attitude.
It seems to start earlier and earlier every year. (A store here had Christmas trees up in AUGUST! For frak's sake!)
Not enough daylight.
Too fricking cold.
Instead, I state the obvious: My wish for the season is happiness, joy, and forgiveness for past wrongs.
This stops most people in their tracks.
Bolding mine. Totally agree.
By the way, just what is a Humbug?
Interesting question. Apparently, a "humbug" is a deceit or a person who deceives:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humbug
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humbug
I'm with you on the bah humbug this year, Fruitbat.
But this should cheer you up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pv0hlbWpa1w
But this should cheer you up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pv0hlbWpa1w
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My grandfather died on Saturday. We had the funeral today. After this I will have four days of Christmas celebrations, so it's a strange holiday. But I think the first Christmas after my mom died was the hardest.
/best wishes to all
/best wishes to all