The Annoying Passive Aggressive People I've Endured Thread

Ken said:

Another thing I've noticed with cashiers in general is that niceness doesn't completely pay off. Those who are nice are sought out by customers who love being rung up by them. So they get more customers during their shifts in comparison to those who are not so nice. Ironically the later have few customers b/c many attempt to avoid them. (I happen to have some really nice cashiers by me. Is there some way I could show my appreciation? Tell the manager? Give a card?) //end of tangent//

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I wouldn't send a card. But you might tell the manager, in person or in a letter, how nice those cashiers are and how they make shopping in the store a pleasure. That would be a very nice thing you could do for them. They might even get a bonus out it -- at the very least, the manager would give them a pat on the back and remember it.

If you also want to tell them personally what a pleasure it is to do business with them, I think that's fine, but I would keep it short and sweet so that (a) you don't hold up their line , and (b) so they don't think you're trying to ask them on a date. I'm laughing, but I'm serious -- especially if they are female, they've probably had it happen a few times! You don't want your very nice gesture to be misinterpreted. A simple "you're so nice you make it a pleasure to shop here," along with a smile, does the job perfectly without going overboard, IMO.

I have done this at least once -- there is a very funny, friendly guy at my local grocery store and it always makes my day when he rings up my stuff. And I've seen him handle difficult customers -- he's so good at smoothing them down. I did tell the manager how great he was.

You might break somebody's brain if you pay them a compliment, especially a cashier. In this day and age, all you ever hear about is the horrible service.

BenPanced said:

You might break somebody's brain if you pay them a compliment, especially a cashier. In this day and age, all you ever hear about is the horrible service.

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True enough! But after the broken brain reassembles and processes the compliment, it's probably pretty happy.

CassandraW said:

But you might tell the manager, in person or in a letter, how nice those cashiers are and how they make shopping in the store a pleasure.

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Thnx Am going to go with a letter. The manager is always about. The next time I'm there will do so.

Ken said:

Thnx Am going to go with a letter. The manager is always about. The next time I'm there will do so.

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You're welcome. I'm sure the manager and the cashiers will be pleased. As Ben points out, most people only complain, and don't bother to say when they are happy with the service they get.

I have new colleagues and one of them is very p/a. Today we had a run-in when I did something to some paperwork and she said 'You can't do it like that.'

'But it's fine.'

'No, you didn't check it properly. You have to do (list of unneccessary bullshit)'.

Me >

Her > 'I suppose you think I should do it'.

You should have seen her face when I handed it to her.....

regdog said:

Today's complaint

I truly hate it when I ask someone a question about what they want and they answer "Whatever you want." or "If you want."

Why do I have to do all the thinking and decide what other people want?

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That's not p/a. That's just laziness.

It can be part of a P/A setup, believe me. My mother is the absolute master at this. Imagine three rounds of 'what do you feel like' and 'oh, nothing in particular; you decide!'... and then after deciding, serving, eating, the followup comes... "well, Italian was nice... I suppose I'll just have to do Indian some other time... (heavy disappointed sigh)."

:

A checker at our grocery store "helpfully" cautioned me not to mistakenly eat the refrigerated dog food I was buying. Because that's real likely.

When I got my pug puppy, one of my FB friends immediately posted a really ignorant (in the true sense of the word) video trashing dog breeding (My gawd it's just like incest!) which was particularly harsh on pugs, and full of gross falsehoods (They're miserable their whole lives! They can't even breathe! They're better off dead!) I couldn't hit the "unfriend" button fast enough.

TessB said:

It can be part of a P/A setup, believe me. My mother is the absolute master at this. Imagine three rounds of 'what do you feel like' and 'oh, nothing in particular; you decide!'... and then after deciding, serving, eating, the followup comes... "well, Italian was nice... I suppose I'll just have to do Indian some other time... (heavy disappointed sigh)."

:

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Ah! I see. I come from a non-p/a family so didn't recognise the scenario.

My mother-in-law to my then 5-year-old son when I was telling him off in a little-bit-shouty-but-not-really way for throwing food on the floor after he'd been told not to 3 times: "Tell mummy to use her inside voice."

LucyPR said:

My mother-in-law to my then 5-year-old son when I was telling him off in a little-bit-shouty-but-not-really way for throwing food on the floor after he'd been told not to 3 times: "Tell mummy to use her inside voice."

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My MIL is one large reason I never had kids. I saw how she was with other peoples' children. Cookies (biscuits) before meals when they had been told no by parents. Allowed to mess with TVs and other devices. All kinds of things. Gah! She started bugging us within six months of marriage about grandchildren. After a while I told her that if she wanted a baby to play with, she had my permission to have one. It was still marginally possible at that time. That cut off the grandchildren conversation, at least as far as we were concerned. Started up again when the next brother got married, but that was their problem to deal with.

MM

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