Words you overuse constantly?

cmhbob said:

That's one of the really nice things about something like yWrite. It (and I assume Scrivener and other packages) will tally word usage for you, letting you see just how often you actually use a particular word. It's really a pretty handy little function.....

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That sounds like a great function. I've always thought about actual writing programs other than standard old Word, but have never made the switch... but a function like that would be nice to have.

Brian

You can use wordle as well. Plug in your text and it makes a pretty picture using the most used words (bigger the word, the more you use it)

For me it's just and almost

Mr Flibble said:

You can use wordle as well. Plug in your text and it makes a pretty picture using the most used words (bigger the word, the more you use it)

For me it's just and almost

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I'd used this before, but I stuck my latest chapter in it, just for funsies.

Not surprisingly, my MC's name is the most used word. Then the love interest's name (it was a romance subplot chapter). But I was surprised at a few others.

'Back' was one, although not all that surprising considering the scene involves a back injury. But also 'thought', 'something', 'know', 'just' and 'little' crop up an alarming amount.

*is now paranoid she has a problem with filtering*

*goes to feed more chapters into the word policing machine*

summontherats said:

Yeah, I should probably nix that from my list, since it's not really a "bad phrase" that you can mass remove. But usually (but not always) it can be replaced with like. It also has a tiny hint of loftiness to it, like using "as well as" instead of "and."

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"Like" and "as if" are both used to construct similes, which are a legitimate writing tool, though like anything else, they should be used to create a desired effect (which can be characterization as well as description).

The rule (as I remember it) is that you use "as if" when you have an subject-verb combo following, and like if there's no verb. And "as if" creates a subjunctive mood (hence the "were," though that's something you don't see used so often anymore).

She stared, as if she were a cat.

vs

She stared like a cat.

Sometimes it's not so easy to swap out the "as if" for a "like," though.

She stared, as if he'd just said the most offensive thing in the history of civilization.

Use of "like" in the latter sentence would be very informal, and would technically be non grammatical. Whether it fits really depends on the feel you're shooting for, I think, and maybe even the pov character. One of my betas is British and he points out my use of like instead of "as if" (I do it deliberately with one pov character in particular) in this way each time it pops up. He insists that it's jarring, though of course he grew up immersed in a different vernacular than I did (I'm a produce of 80s-era southern CA, where everything was like, wow).


One category of word that can get overused, imo, are those little "gesticular" words that are used to attribute dialog or insert beats or provide context. Things like shrugged, nodded, grinned, frowned and so on. I actually blogged about this a while back, because I discovered (upon counting some words in my manuscript) that I used some of them too often. But then I did word searches in a number of novels I'd read recently and discovered that published writers tend to do this a lot too. I found dozens, even hundreds, of shrugs, frowns and nods etc. in some writers' work, including some who are critically acclaimed and popular. And every writer I checked had at least a couple of "those" words.

My conclusion is that you should be mindful but not obsessive about these things. If you get hung up on fixing every little "tic" you discover about your writing, you may well purge it (and your characters) of their personality and voice. And of course, you won't ever finish the thing either, which is a serious problem I have.

Roxxsmom said:

One category of word that can get overused, imo, are those little "gesticular" words that are used to attribute dialog or insert beats or provide context. Things like shrugged, nodded, grinned, frowned and so on. I actually blogged about this a while back, because I discovered (upon counting some words in my manuscript) that I used some of them too often. But then I did word searches in a number of novels I'd read recently and discovered that published writers tend to do this a lot too. I found dozens, even hundreds, of shrugs, frowns and nods etc. in some writers' work, including some who are critically acclaimed and popular. And every writer I checked had at least a couple of "those" words.

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Yeah, I used to get hung up on those words, worrying that I overused them, but trying to find a substitute for something that is such an effective and efficient tool just made it worse. After a while, I started to regard shrugs and nods and shakes and grins almost like 'said' in dialogue tags. That is, they perform a function so well and so innocuously, that you don't really notice them.

Unless, of course, you use them to real excess. But that's true of any word, said included.

I think when there's too much shrugging, sighing, grinning, glancing or what have you the thing to be aware of isn't so much the individual words that get repeated (although that's important to avoid) but over-reliance on stock gestures and inconsequential movements.

Novels aren't TV. Everything doesn't require a character to make a face or have small bodily response. This is where narrative or scene details may convey meaning better than a character making yet another face, or sighing, or shifting, or frowning or biting her lip.

I have major issues using that. When I am tired, I might even include it twice in the same sentence.

I do edit out the most egregious examples, but I have decided not to sweat it too much in my current project, in favour of finishing the damn thing. After, I shall go on an extermination drive and get rid of the buggers.

Decided. My characters are a very decisive bunch.

I overuse breathing. Sounds kinda lame, but it's actually a problem. The phrase "[character] took a breath" or some variant of it always ends up being used wayyyy too often.

Roxxsmom said:

"Like" and "as if" are both used to construct similes, which are a legitimate writing tool, though like anything else, they should be used to create a desired effect (which can be characterization as well as description).

The rule (as I remember it) is that you use "as if" when you have an subject-verb combo following, and like if there's no verb. And "as if" creates a subjunctive mood (hence the "were," though that's something you don't see used so often anymore).

She stared, as if she were a cat.

vs

She stared like a cat.

Sometimes it's not so easy to swap out the "as if" for a "like," though.

She stared, as if he'd just said the most offensive thing in the history of civilization.

Use of "like" in the latter sentence would be very informal, and would technically be non grammatical. Whether it fits really depends on the feel you're shooting for, I think, and maybe even the pov character. One of my betas is British and he points out my use of like instead of "as if" (I do it deliberately with one pov character in particular) in this way each time it pops up. He insists that it's jarring, though of course he grew up immersed in a different vernacular than I did (I'm a produce of 80s-era southern CA, where everything was like, wow).

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This is fascinating. I've never actually heard about that rule, and I've certainly never been slapped down for it. And that's kind of shocking, because I work with some really eagle-eyed editors and I use like like (Whoops. Er. As if...) the 80s never ended.

It seems you are completely right, and this is yet another one of those places where language has been changing for a while, but grammarians disagree.

So I learned something. Thank you!

(That said, I still abuse similes much too much, but that's different than overused words.)

Devil Ledbetter said:

I think when there's too much shrugging, sighing, grinning, glancing or what have you the thing to be aware of isn't so much the individual words that get repeated (although that's important to avoid) but over-reliance on stock gestures and inconsequential movements.

Novels aren't TV. Everything doesn't require a character to make a face or have small bodily response. This is where narrative or scene details may convey meaning better than a character making yet another face, or sighing, or shifting, or frowning or biting her lip.

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Exactly. And sometimes when I edit, I discover that I needed to provide more information than a simple "he shrugged" could convey. Other times, I didn't need anything there at all, because his words or the overall context got the mood across. But I don't agree with those bloggers who say you get three nods per manuscript or whatever arbitrary number they've decided is the "magic" cut off. A quick word search (reading books on a reader or tablet makes this easy) shows that published, even award-winning, authors use these little literary tics far more often than three times each.

I doubt a few extra shrugs or likes or whatever will be a deal breaker with an agent or editor anyway if the story and writing are good otherwise. These are really easy things to fix during the editing process. In fact, one of my writing buddies got an agent a while back, and they're working though some revisions that are much more deep and profound than just word choice. The amount of work they're willing to do when they think a novel or writer has commercial promise is nothing short of amazing.

For Summontherats, here's an explanation of the like versus as rule, and a description of when "as if" is proper (and now I can't help being plunged back into the 90s, when everyone was saying, As if!" all the time). But since fiction is informal writing, and the style of the narrative will be driven by many things besides a strict interpretation of formal grammar, your editor may feel that using "like" instead of "as if" works just fine for the pov or narrative voice.

http://www.grammar.cl/Notes/Like_vs_As.htm

http://cliffordgarstang.com/?p=3831

"Wall", "hand", "think", and both "smile" and "mouth", used as bases for describing expression. I'm an ex-actor, so I tend to fall back on facial expressions when describing an attitude or reaction.

Also, according to yWriter, my first draft contains 142 instances of the word "fucking", which I consider a tad excessive. If I was a first-thought-best-thought kind of writer, I'd be very curse-heavy.

There are times when my characters are a little nod-happy, but during editing I try to limit nods, shrugs, etc. to certain scenes where they are used to create an effect, e.g.:

"Going out?" John asked.
Harry nodded.
"Oh." John nodded. "Where?"
Harry shrugged.
John shrugged, and shrugged again. "Whatever."

...Which is meant to indicated strained communication. And possibly frustration, on John's part, because I've only seen someone shrug twice in a row if they are very, very annoyed. Then I jump back to real description, ha-ha.

ManOfTongues said:

I overuse breathing. Sounds kinda lame, but it's actually a problem. The phrase "[character] took a breath" or some variant of it always ends up being used wayyyy too often.

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Ditto.

So then, what number would be considered excessive? Say, per 10k words. 50? 100?

If I had a first draft of 50k and I had 500 nods? Too excessive?

There are words I use far too much. I believe "and" is one of them, "nods" is another, "seemed". I've noticed that I have been using "seemed" far too much.

I know I have some issues with trying to tell rather than show and to compensate, it ... seems... that I have been using "seemed" in an attempt to show what is going on from the MC's POV rather than just simply telling what was going on.

Examples:
"The muzzle flashes seemed to come from every direction. Even the women and children were trapped. They were being herded, pushed back farther and farther from the woods back toward the center of the clearing."

"At least she seemed content with a shy smile and an occasional giggle when Gabe bounced her around."


"The sound of the barking grew even more frantic and the footsteps that seemed to be all around her picked up their pace. It was working. They were following her, not Jacob."


"She threw her head back and a scream ripped out of her throat that seemed to come from the depths of her soul."




[FONT=&quot]Though after searching for 'seem' I only had 56 matches out of 52k words, so I guess that's not as overused as I first thought. Though there are 14 occurrences of 'appeared' which I tend to switch to if I believe I've been using 'seem/seemed/seeming' too much.
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It's very difficult for me to keep very out of my very verbose writing at very odd and very interesting times...

MiraMoone said:

I know I have some issues with trying to tell rather than show and to compensate, it ... seems... that I have been using "seemed" in an attempt to show what is going on from the MC's POV rather than just simply telling what was going on.

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Hm. This sounds to me like you're filtering or waffling, or both. Just saying "the footsteps were all around her" is a more powerful statement, and it makes me more confident in your narrator. When you say something "appeared to" or "seemed", I feel like you're saying, "Don't quote me on this, I'm not positive, but..."

Of course, "seemed" and "appeared to" have a place--when the narrator is specifically unsure of herself, when you're indicating that a light appeared to come from the north, but decidedly did not, etc.

Also, I think that saying "The footsteps were all around her" is definitely showing--you're providing us with auditory information, not telling us what it means or how to feel about it. What people generally mean by telling is when you say, "She was being chased by thirty guardsmen, and this was a terrifying situation to be in!" Instead of painting a picture of the chase--"footsteps all around her"--you're summarizing it, and telling us your MC's feelings when they should be apparent, because you've shown us all the signs of her terror (her sweating palms, her rapid heartrate, etc.). The raw information is what you paint the picture with.

EDIT: If a character was sure that a scream definitely came from the depths of her soul, I would be very, very interested in that scream and what caused it.

graygrammar said:

Hm. This sounds to me like you're filtering or waffling, or both. Just saying "the footsteps were all around her" is a more powerful statement, and it makes me more confident in your narrator. When you say something "appeared to" or "seemed", I feel like you're saying, "Don't quote me on this, I'm not positive, but..."

Of course, "seemed" and "appeared to" have a place--when the narrator is specifically unsure of herself, when you're indicating that a light appeared to come from the north, but decidedly did not, etc.

Also, I think that saying "The footsteps were all around her" is definitely showing--you're providing us with auditory information, not telling us what it means or how to feel about it. What people generally mean by telling is when you say, "She was being chased by thirty guardsmen, and this was a terrifying situation to be in!" Instead of painting a picture of the chase--"footsteps all around her"--you're summarizing it, and telling us your MC's feelings when they should be apparent, because you've shown us all the signs of her terror (her sweating palms, her rapid heartrate, etc.). The raw information is what you paint the picture with.

EDIT: If a character was sure that a scream definitely came from the depths of her soul, I would be very, very interested in that scream and what caused it.

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Thank you very much for this! I've actually spent hours Googling what the heck it actually -means- to show not tell because I get that it is extremely important but for the life of me I couldn't understand exactly what was meant by those words. I guess that makes me seem a little dumb, but alas


So... for this:

"The sound of the barking grew even more frantic and the footsteps that seemed to be all around her picked up their pace. It was working. They were following her, not Jacob."

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Perhaps it should be written more like so?

The sound of the barking grew even more frantic and footsteps echoed down the corridor; their pace quickening as they drew nearer. It was working. They were following her, not Jacob.

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Something like that, maybe? Seems to have gotten wordier. :/


Also, I'm not sure what you mean by "filtering or waffling"... being indecisive?

MiraMoone said:

So then, what number would be considered excessive? Say, per 10k words. 50? 100?

If I had a first draft of 50k and I had 500 nods? Too excessive?[FONT=&quot]
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Er... yes, that seems a little excessive. I thought I had overdone it in my WIP, but I just checked and I have less than 100 nodding incidents in over 150k. I have about the same number of head shakings, and about half that amount of frownings. I only really pay attention to these things if a beta mentions it as noticeable, so what do yours say?

MiraMoone said:

Also, I'm not sure what you mean by "filtering or waffling"... being indecisive?

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Filtering is when you're in close third POV, but instead of letting us experience the character's thoughts and feelings directly just by stating them, you tell us how they are perceiving those things. For instance, instead of saying 'footsteps echoed all around her' you'd put in an explanation of how she knew that by saying 'she heard footsteps echoing all around her.' The reader doesn't need to know how she knows, because in most cases it can be assumed anyway, but some writers do love to tell us that their character heard all the sounds and saw all the sights, rather than just giving us the sounds and sights.

Bit clearer?

My first novel my editor at Samhain Publishing told me I needed to cut the use of the word "Hard" by half.

This latest novel the I had to cut use of the word "eyes" (impossible to find a synonym for.) And the word "heart."

Anyway I don't mind hunting for alternatives to word choice, that's kind of fun, because it's creative. What is not particularly fun is doing galleys now. I don't like trying to proof read my own work. *sigh*

Kallithrix said:

I only really pay attention to these things if a beta mentions it as noticeable, so what do yours say?

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I don't have beta readers yet. I'm still writing the first draft. I'd do that after first draft and some editing, wouldn't I?

I've never actually managed to get as far as I have with this book before.

And yes, that is clearer thank you. Also I'm trying to keep it to limited 3rd but yes I do find myself sometimes putting in 'she heard' ... which I expect to edit out where I've slipped and done that. I've been making a real effort not to do that but it happens.

Kallithrix said:

I only really pay attention to these things if a beta mentions it as noticeable, so what do yours say?

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You trust you betas more than I trust a professional editor. These are thing I need to identify and fix, not a beta, or an editor.

MiraMoone said:

So then, what number would be considered excessive? Say, per 10k words. 50? 100?

If I had a first draft of 50k and I had 500 nods? Too excessive?

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I suspect some of this is a matter of taste, but if I have more than two "nods" in 50K, it's excessive. I prefer only one. Same with any other gesture or body movement.

Nor do I want to reuse phrases in a story, unless they're being reused to replay what someone said. I don't think there's a need to do so.

Many common words have to be used fairly often, but I don't think gestures, mannerisms, or phrases do.

Jamesaritchie said:

I suspect some of this is a matter of taste, but if I have more than two "nods" in 50K, it's excessive. I prefer only one. Same with any other gesture or body movement.

Nor do I want to reuse phrases in a story, unless they're being reused to replay what someone said. I don't think there's a need to do so.

Many common words have to be used fairly often, but I don't think gestures, mannerisms, or phrases do.

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That makes sense!

It's funny to see "nods" mentioned here. Way back when I worked in a bookstore in high school and college, a suspense novel showed up in the mail from an author asking if we'd stock it. Anyone on our staff who started to read it noticed the same thing within the first two pages: EVERYONE was nodding when they said something. There must have been 15 or 20 nods in the first chapter alone. It was bizarre and distracting. Especially once someone made the bobbleheads connections and all you could do was see the characters like that!

Brian

HannahWing said:

Do other people have their own words that they love to overuse?

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Yep: 'smirked', 'carefully', 'silently' and, strangely, 'clatter'. it's annoying.

I love the word "suddenly" and of course I love the word "that". Also, I have an unhealthy relationship with semi-colons. But I suspect many of you do too; they are just so addictive! And way better than a semi-colonoscopy.

LOL...sorry...could not help myself. I also love ellipses. But again...who doesn't?