introducing loads of characters early on

lise8 said:

Hi everyone,

Here's my dilemma: I have been advised to start where the story actually starts... Getting as close as possible to the 'beginning' is when my protagonist, Claire meets the antagonist, Jake. The issue is that Jake comes into her life when he joins Claire's daughter and her group of friends, that would mean that on scene 1, we would meet Claire, Jake, Natasha (the daughter), who are the three main characters, alongside 6 other teenagers.

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Why do there have to be six other teenagers present?

What Beth said.

I introduce four MCs right off the bat in my current WiP, but put all the focus on the main MC. The other three are there and distinct, but the reader's not being overloaded with names and information.

If your other six teens definitely need to be there, do they need to be named?

lise8 said:

Hi everyone,

Here's my dilemma: I have been advised to start where the story actually starts... Getting as close as possible to the 'beginning' is when my protagonist, Claire meets the antagonist, Jake. The issue is that Jake comes into her life when he joins Claire's daughter and her group of friends, that would mean that on scene 1, we would meet Claire, Jake, Natasha (the daughter), who are the three main characters, alongside 6 other teenagers.

It goes against all advice given on introducing a maximum of three characters in a first scene.

Originally, I had started with Claire and Natasha discussing the arrival of a new guy amongst Natasha's friends, then going through Jake's POV meeting the youths, in which case I thought it was ok to feel a bit of whiplash at meeting so many people in one go because that is how Jake feels, so that I could then concentrate on how Jake and Claire first interact with each other.

But that was deemed too slow, not at the heart of the action.... Maybe I just didn't write these scenes in an exciting way enough, with not enough tension...

Any advice/ ideas on how I can work around these issues???

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Personally, I would stick with what you originally came up with and see what you can do to liven up the earlier scenes.

Well, you made the choice of having six coming over, so if you want to keep all six there, you just have to write it properly. But, really, does anyone, anywhere, have six friends come over to their house each and every day? This isn't realistic at all. There will be many days when some of them have other things to do, or other things they want to do.

Just because she has six friends who come over regularly wouldn't mean each and every day. You can introduce them at different times, and be much more realistic in the process.

Obviously I haven't read the scene in question, but couldn't it be possible for Jake to arrive at Claire's home either before or well after the "main" group arrives? If she greets him at the door, there would be an opportunity for at least a little bit of one-on-one time before he joins the rest of the friends in whatever activity they're involved in.

I wouldn't get too concerned about details concerning the other six friends (other than a mention) until it's their time to actually do something important. Just "being there" doesn't constitute important.

Good luck with the revisions!

Can you mention the prescence of the others, but keep the focus on the main characters. Does everyone need an immediate introduction?

Anyway, just a suggestion, but why not have the six come over, not all at once, but instead scattered a bit in smaller groups. I work with teenagers on a regular basis and I know large groups are inherently unorganized and rarely do they all come on time. Have your main characters arrive early, a small group come in a little later, and another group or pair show up late. That way, you have time to work them in without bombarding the poor reader.

You can have multiple characters, but I would imagine your concentration would be on 1-3 characters at a time.

lise8 said:

The six other teenagers are the reason why Jake comes into Claire's life.
Her daughter and her friends (6 of them) are used to coming to Claire's house every afternoons to chill after school, before setting off to their own homes for dinner. The reason Jake comes too is because one of the youths is his classmate and introduces him to his friends.

All this was introduced over three scenes, originally, but readers here hinted that it was not enough 'in the midst of the action', simply too slow building for them. Maybe I could have simply made these more relevant.

the reason there are 6 (or at least a large number) is simply because it would be weird to invite a new guy to a smaller mixed group, and probably based on the fact that my group of friend at 17 was mixed and huge.
And they all play their specific part in the story.

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OK, so you make it something like a party, where people are coming and going in the background, and you don't have to include 6 or 7 people in a single conversation all at once. Also, while the purpose of the scene is so that Jake and your character can meet, you also need to have something else going on as well, some other conflict for the reader to focus on so that the meeting won't seem contrived.

At a guess (could be wrong, of course), the problem with the slower build-up was not the slower build-up per se, but the fact that there was not any interesting conflict and rising tension to pull the reader through those scenes. What your readers are looking for is not so much action as it is tension. And tension does not necessarily mean biting-your-nails suspense. It can be subtle, but it's the bait that keeps your reader hooked.

lise8 said:

the reason there are 6 (or at least a large number) is simply because it would be weird to invite a new guy to a smaller mixed group, and probably based on the fact that my group of friend at 17 was mixed and huge.

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I'm perplexed by your statement. New people can be introduced to small groups without it being weird. To illustrate, I was invited to a "game night" hosted by my husband's piano teacher, and there were only four people there in total. It wasn't weird at all. Normally, there's more who attend, but the night I went, it was just a few people.

And just because your personal group of friends at age 17 was large and varied doesn't mean that has to be the case for your novel. When I was 17, I had three very close friends, and two or three others who were part of our group, but I wasn't that close to. Sometimes we'd all hang out, but quite often, it was just me and my three BFFs. In other words, smaller groups are perfectly okay.

You have options.

As for introducing a cast of characters, the way I handled it was, in the first chapter the MC meets her love interest and a handful of his friends, but she isn't introduced to the friends yet. They just hang out in the background. A chapter later, she is introduced to one of them. In the next chapter, she meets the remaining three. This helps ease the reader into the chaos.

Another trick I used was to pair them off. Instead of meeting the entire group at once, she meets them one at a time, but then they're paired off. Two of them used to be married, so after they're introduced, they start bantering and bickering. You learn a lot about their personalities and histories from what they say to each other. Then I add in the third character, while the couple fades into the background. The love interest reappears at this time, as well.

It's kind of like braiding, you have to skillfully weave different characters into the scene--and more importantly, you have to weave them back out, so the reader doesn't get overwhelmed.

Is it necessary to name them all straight away? Or just 'Natasha and her six friends', gradually introducing them, along with some bit of description, only as needed.

By 17 I had a pretty substantial social group, but I was very rarely with the same six people all the time - usually just one or two unless it was a party. And if we were hanging out somewhere, people would come and go throughout an afternoon or evening.

In one novel I have the MC with three friends in the scene and for the reader's sake I began with the MC and one friend, then had them meeting the other two a few paragraphs later. Even then, four people in one scene all talking or doing something can be a bit tricky.
Sometimes, what's easier trumps 'realism'.

That is a number of characters being introduced at once. If I were reading the story, it would likely overwhelm me and I'm pretty good with keeping large casts in order. The key I think is introducing characters gradually or in a way that allows them to be highlighted without immediately fading into the background.

I think of it like with real life. When I am introduced to a bunch of people at one time, I'm likely to only remember a few of them. However, if I meet 3 people at once and the rest of them slowly trickle in after that, I'm okay. It's the same when I'm reading, sometimes more important. When I read a scene it passes much quicker than it would in real life. As a result, I have even less time to let characters sink in.

So, can you introduce a bunch of characters at once. You bet. However, you also have to accept that there's a good chance that your audience may not have them all straight right away and either mix them up or forget characters.

And FYI, there were times when I hung out with my mass of friends, but generally it would start with 2 or 3 of us and then balloon. Even when we'd have parties it'd be the same. It's definitely cool to introduce people in small groups. If you told me I had to meet a bunch of people who are friends already I would say no way. Give me a small group please.

BethS said:

Why do there have to be six other teenagers present?

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Beat me to it. Chances are most readers will quickly ask the same question.

caw

If you can get away with it without becoming too cluttered or confusing, I would say go for it.

Another possibility would be to focus mainly on a few, then carry the scene on as the group breaks apart for the night & focus on the others, or something along the lines of splitting up focus over a period of two or more scenes.

I say, it's fine that your MC has a gang of 6 to hang with, but even people who hang together a lot don't invariably always do it all together. Esp. since, being now in separate schools, some may have other things to do & other commitments that keeps them occasionally away from Group Hangout Time.

In your opening scene, delete 3 or 4 of the gang.

It doesn't matter which, or why. If you must, mention them as being absent, but I suggest don't name them at all till the few characters who remain on stage have been well introduced in action.

Once you've given the reader a chance to get comfortable in your story with a few characters, it's safe to introduce the rest of the group. Keep in mind that your Group Together scenes don't always have to include the same 6 every time, or include all of them always in the same conversations. Mix it up. There's nothing wrong with a big cast where everybody has their chance to shine, but it's easier for individuals to shine when they're not sharing all their scenes with a crowd.

What James Ritchie said. You are the god of this fictional universe. You created that opening scene. If you're finding it problematic, create a different one.

Don't be afraid to throw out earlier concepts or you'll wind up like Stephenie Meyer. I swear, that woman has never in her life entertained a second thought.

I can't really say what to do or what not to do. Basically it's up to you to decide. Go with your gut.

Just want to add that your story sounds interesting and hello "Jake" love you. (that name rocks the earth.) Love it!

I have to admit that I struggle with a similar issue. I have multiple characters that need to be introduced earlier on for things to make sense. The advice I can give is a repetition of what everyone else has said. Plus this:

If you feel there's a problem, definitely fix it! Beginnings are tricky. It may take some time, or you may nail it over the head with the first rewrite. Just remember to have patience and don't rush your process. Take all the time you need to weave your group of characters into the story. It might help to try and think of yourself as the reader picking up your story for the first time. That way you can at least get a good idea of how many is too many when your introducing your characters.

If you're still overwhelmed, I recommend picking up some books in your genre that have succeeded in what your trying to achieve. Study how they introduce what eventually ends up being a group of characters. Doing that definitely helps a lot!

Good luck!

lise8 said:

Thanks for this post. I am still working on it, trying out three different scenes to start with.

Do you have exemples of books that introduces lots of characters?

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Ever read "The Westing Game"? It's been a while since I've read it so I can't remember exactly what techniques it uses, but I remember it introducing upward of 16 characters early on while delivering an interesting story to boot. It's only about 200 pages.

lise8 said:

Do you have exemples of books that introduces lots of characters? The only one I can think of is Twilight when they go through all the Cullen Clan and when Bella meets all the school crew, which isn't the best point of reference, in my opinion. (;-) HapiSofi)

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I can definitely understand why you wouldn't want to use Twilight as a writing reference. It isn't exactly admired in the writing community by a large sum. These are some suggestions that I can think off of the top of my head. It isn't necessarily a large mass of characters, but the Hunger Games is very good at introducing three characters plus Katniss in the first few pages. Another reference might be Graceling. That story is the epitome of starting in the middle of the action! I've found it to be a great reference! It may sound funny, but you might even want to try Harry Potter. People don't call J.K. Rowling the Queen just because she's pretty. She's a master at introducing characters, and there are tons in her series! Of course, I've been suggesting science fiction/fantasy novels, and I'm not sure what your genre is. You might want to look elsewhere. If your writing contemporary, Sarah Dessen is a pretty good example for introducing groups of friends even if she does write for a dominantly female audience. Most of her books contain her MC's hanging out in groups. Hope these suggestions have been at least slightly useful. Definitely pick up your favorites and study the first chapters! It helps!