Does a Mystery Script Need an Interrogation?

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ZachPhillips32

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Hi everyone. I have a few questions regarding my first screenplay. I'm having trouble writing
an entertaining interrogation scene and having the script come full circle. As of right now I am using flashbacks
but I'm not sure if I want to go that way. I'm not much of a
mystery writer but I wanted to try something different for a film project.
Keep in mind that I don't really have any type of budget
and that I want to be able to make this short under 10 minutes.
Sorry in advance if this post is kinda all over the place.

Here i had two screen shots of my screenplay to give you all some of the background information.

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So I gave the killer, Edwards, what I feel as a strong background and in the story
I want the moment he kills Bell as a release of his angers. Thus, a serial killer is born.
I want to have his past with women come full circle as he realizes a way from him to vent his anger, murder.
Now, I am unsure of how to do this in my script. So please any thoughts would be very helpful.

Also, does a mystery short need an interrogation scene? Is there a more interesting way to give
all the same information without having to have your characters sit around a table? I can't think of any
other way to do it but I'd like a way to show it more visibly than verbally. But I feel as that might be a better way to do it.

I'm also having trouble with clues. I have Edwards rip a bracelet off of Bell's wrist to keep as a memento and as a visual clue
as to Edwards has crossed the path to becoming a serial killer but that's about it.

I feel as I am getting stuck with this screenplay. I have written out a interrogation scene in it but it is not good
enough for me to want to be able to move forward with it. So any helpful advice, tips, constructive criticism is very appreciated.
 

frimble3

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I don't know much about screenplay, but I've seen a lot of detective shows. If you want the whole thing to film in under 10 minutes, and Julia Bell is his first victim, he won't have time to become a serial killer, if the police are going to catch him now.
You've given Edwards the usual background, but how are you going to show it in 10 minutes? I assume that's what you want the interrogation for? To bring all this out? Unlikely to happen in a 10 minute film, unless he breaks and starts babbling immediately. So, why not skip the interrogation, and have Edwards break and babble when the police turn up at his door? He sees them, they ask an basic question, he assumes they're onto him, and are just taunting him, so he panics and runs. He doesn't even have to make it out of the house. One of the cops tackles him, and there, on the ground, he starts crying and yelling and confessing. "You got me! I did it! It was all her fault!" etc. All the police have to do is ask a few questions for clarification. This also reduces the need for clues, all the police need is information to locate Edwards, they may only want to speak to him as a potential witness.
The other policeman ignoring his house because it's unlit and has a 'Sold' sign out front is kind of sloppy, he should have at least knocked to see if anyone was home but asleep - people don't always move out before selling. So, now the detective are just doing a follow-up, checking out a guy that might have information.
Also, unrelated, you mention the police driving up in an 'off-duty' police car. But they appear to be on-duty, looking for a witness or suspect. Do you mean an 'unmarked' police car? One without police markings on the outside?
 

ZachPhillips32

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I don't know much about screenplay, but I've seen a lot of detective shows. If you want the whole thing to film in under 10 minutes, and Julia Bell is his first victim, he won't have time to become a serial killer, if the police are going to catch him now.

Yes, I'm struggling with the 10 minute mark for this short. I am mostly doing this because the lack of resources I have as of right now. I don't necessarily plan on showing him murdering other women. I had him taking Bell's bracelet as a memento, something serial killers do, as a visual sign that this is what he has become. I only want to show the murder of Bell so that we can see him cross that line were he thought he was doing it out of vengeance but he got so much relief out of it that hes gonna have to do it again. That's my thinking behind it anyway.

You've given Edwards the usual background, but how are you going to show it in 10 minutes? I assume that's what you want the interrogation for? To bring all this out? Unlikely to happen in a 10 minute film, unless he breaks and starts babbling immediately. So, why not skip the interrogation, and have Edwards break and babble when the police turn up at his door? He sees them, they ask an basic question, he assumes they're onto him, and are just taunting him, so he panics and runs. He doesn't even have to make it out of the house. One of the cops tackles him, and there, on the ground, he starts crying and yelling and confessing. "You got me! I did it! It was all her fault!" etc. All the police have to do is ask a few questions for clarification. This also reduces the need for clues, all the police need is information to locate Edwards, they may only want to speak to him as a potential witness.

Yes, that was what the interrogation scene was going to do but I feel as if the interrogation that I wrote didn't fit the bill. I was also going to use it for flashbacks but I'm unsure if those will stay. It was boring and lacked the climax I am looking for. That is partly because I am not that great of a writer so I'm trying to find another way to get this information out, maybe visually?

I have thought about that as well. Edwards opens the door and not expecting to see the police catches him off guard and he does something stupid like run. But I feel like that is taking the easy way and I don't want to do that.

The other policeman ignoring his house because it's unlit and has a 'Sold' sign out front is kind of sloppy, he should have at least knocked to see if anyone was home but asleep - people don't always move out before selling. So, now the detective are just doing a follow-up, checking out a guy that might have information.

I thought about this as well and thought if it's something quick it would be over looked but maybe I should rewrite that.

Also, unrelated, you mention the police driving up in an 'off-duty' police car. But they appear to be on-duty, looking for a witness or suspect. Do you mean an 'unmarked' police car? One without police markings on the outside?

Unmarked is the correct term, thank you.
 
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dpaterso

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Welcome to the board. But. There's a 50 posts requirement before you can post anything for feedback, see here:

Starting new threads in SYW - minimum post count requirement Password if prompted = vista

Closing this thread until you hit the big 50.

PS - you're writing this for yourself, seems like, so you can put whatever you like into it, but normally a screenplay wouldn't be stuffed full of info that's unfilmable.

-Derek
 
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