Learn Writing with Uncle Jim, Volume 1

Re: The First Two Pages

i note that this phenomenon isn't restricted to fanfic authors; some beginning authors in general make the same mistake. They see the scene in their head clearly, but then forget to transfer any of that clarity onto the paper

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Crusader, I have a question. What should we, as begining writers, need to ask ourselves to create better clarity in cases like this? As I'm sure everyone is familiar with, when you're close to a work, it's often hard to notice that something is amiss. Which is why I depend so heavily on the readers who've so kindly critiqued my current WIP (and why I greatly appreciate the time from you guys).

But having someone tell me that I'm missing something in Chapter One, is -not- going to help me prevent this from happening again in Chapter Two, or in the next work. Obviously, some of the more battle-hardened veterans here are able to work through this on their own, now. But, like anything that becomes habit, you leave out a step or two that seems obvious to you, but is missing to me. :lol

So pretend I'm completely stupid, and explain it to me? What do you look for in your own work, to correct mistakes like this?

Re: The First Two Pages

@drgnlvrljh:
So pretend I'm completely stupid, and explain it to me? What do you look for in your own work, to correct mistakes like this?

[surprised] Well, i actually was under the idea that my comments did spell such a thing out. Oops on me. (i would never pretend you're stupid, though; better to assume i made a mistake.)

Anyway...

They see the scene in their head clearly, but then forget to transfer any of that clarity onto the paper (i.e. the hero is a carbon copy of Russell Crowe in their mind, but on the paper they just say "tall, good-looking white guy with dark hair").

The logical exercise to avoid this, even when you feel buried in the work (to whch i definitely relate, some of my worst mistakes come from that), is to compare the details of the description in your head, with what is on the paper.

So, with this hypothetical Russell Crowe, we would have to define what makes a "Russell Crowe". With a notepad, jot down details... what sort of hairstyle? How broad of a chin? Eyes close together or far apart? Big forehead or small? Swarthy skin or pale? That process gives you something tangible to compare the novel against. If the wording in the novel pales in comparison to your notes, your reader is probably going to be clueless to what you're seeing.

Now, taking this a step farther: in roleplaying games, there's a critical tool called the character sheet. You sit down with the sheet and write out in extreme detail all the vital stats and particulars of the character you want to play: height, weight, eye colour, the type of armor worn, the sword, his build, any scars, etc.

Well, the character sheet is (surprise!) identical to what i'm describing with the notepad, and applies not just to characters but to setting as well. In taking notes, the painter in you has free reign, to make the character/scene in your head become crisp and alive. And thus, when you are actually writing or editing the novel, you have all that info at your fingertips as a way to check yourself.

Like: "Let's see, my notes/character sheet says that my villian, Crow Russellson, is swarthy and tall with a sniewy-build thanks to years of military service; he's curly-haired with dark brown locks, has smoldering almond eyes, a hawklike nose and an impeccable goatee, dresses in fine silks of dark colours, and walks like a panther on the prowl."

So, you'd ask yourself: "Does that match with his first description on page 10 of my novel? Oh, i seem to have just written the tall and handsome man walked up to the bar. Oops; let me see what i can mix in here to spice that up..."

Is this more helpful? =)

Re: The First Two Pages

As I'm sure everyone is familiar with, when you're close to a work, it's often hard to notice that something is amiss.

Time away from the work helps. Enough time for you to forget exactly what you were thinking when you wrote it.

But having someone tell me that I'm missing something in Chapter One, is -not- going to help me prevent this from happening again in Chapter Two, or in the next work.

I'm not sure what you mean. Do you mean it is not helpful when someone makes an ambiguous statement about something missing from Chapter One? Or are you saying it's difficult to learn from critiques?

Re: The First Two Pages

@detante:

i read it as "even if somebody tells me i goofed in Ch. 1, my habits will likely lead me to make the same mistake again in Ch. 2." Which is a rather cynical comment upon one's own ability to learn from mistakes... =( But i digress.

Oh, and as an extension to the other post: one ideal is to develop a mindset where the author can hold the scene in their head while looking at the novel, comparing the two at a glance. However, reaching that ideal may be more natively difficult for some writers than others, since people don't all process information the same way. A very visual-minded person might have greater ease with keeping a mental "template", while a less visual person might need tangible notes. It doesn't matter, really, just whatever works for the author.

Re: The First Two Pages

This is what I suggested to a fellow writer when she told me she had some trouble putting the visions in her head on paper:

Watch a scene of your favorite movie (try something simpler, however -- don't start with the battle scene of Lord of the Rings). Now, narrate the scene as you would in a novel. Get the details down, but not exhaustively: characters, costumes, gestures, action, speech/tones ov voice, settings, props, etc. After you're done, give it to someone and see if he or she can figure out what movie, what scene, and if you've done a good job.

Let's say, try a scene in A Beautiful Mind with Russell Crowe.

If you practice that long enough, sooner or later you would have a good handle on how to put the movie in your mind on paper effectively.

As a matter of fact, I'll go to Writing Prompts and Games and put up a challenge. I think it'd be fun.

Re: The First Two Pages

I like the ideas shown above, in terms of breaking bad habits about not including sufficient description.

I think if that's how you write (it's certainly how I write) sometimes you just have to be satisfied that you'll be able to revise it by coming at it cold, without the intense visualizations and assumptions you had while writing. But I'm kind of sick of rewrites, so for the current novel I just tried going slowly, and letting my mind focus intensely on the scene at hand. What's going on? What is the narrator noticing? How is she telling this story to someone who doesn't know anything about the world? For every scene I try to pause and think up a couple of interesting details to throw in.

I'm writing at about half the speed I wrote for my previous novels, and the critiques I've gotten say that it's a big improvement.

Re: The First Two Pages

"Crusader, I have a question. What should we, as begining writers, need to ask ourselves to create better clarity in cases like this? As I'm sure everyone is familiar with, when you're close to a work, it's often hard to notice that something is amiss. Which is why I depend so heavily on the readers who've so kindly critiqued my current WIP (and why I greatly appreciate the time from you guys)."

Well, I'm not Crusader, but another effective way to learn to spot these things is to join a critique group and start noticing them in other people's works. You find that, as you dissect someone else's prose--spotting the lack of description, the passive voice, the lapses in POV, etc--you'll also start spotting those things when they happen in your own work.

Valerie

Re: The First Two Pages

Crusader said:

"As such, the bottom line might depend on the goal. If someone is just messing around with or learning about writing, the analytic method is a good tool. If someone is aiming to become a commercial writer, the method using synthesis might be best.

[ramble off] What do you think?"

That's a really interesting idea. I had never consider the synthesis/analytic opposites you describe.

Honestly, though, I think it has a lot more to do with the kind of thinker you are rather than what the goal is.

I'm an extremely logical/analytical person. I have degrees in Aerospace Engineering. I used to design the control laws programed into the flight computers of various airplanes. So, to me it's intuitive to practice the pieces and then integrate them. I don't think I *could* have done the synthesis (synthetic?) method to improve my writing because my brain just doesn't work that way.

But, people whose brains work on the opposite end of the spectrum probably feel the same way about the analytical method

Valerie

Re: The First Two Pages

@dblteam:

Very cool. i like it when a theory thrown up for grab leads to a tangent that meanders into a discussion that reveals little facts that end up illuminating the theory.


So, to me it's intuitive to practice the pieces and then integrate them. I don't think I *could* have done the synthesis (synthetic?) method to improve my writing because my brain just doesn't work that way. But, people whose brains work on the opposite end of the spectrum probably feel the same way about the analytical method.

Indeed. Your comments make even more sense now, given this bit of background on your perspective.

And, i apologize for framing it all as an "either/or", since it isn't really so black-and-white. i know for a fact that my mind wobbles between being analytical vs being inclined to synthesis; likewise, there is likely a significant number of people who can do both in harmony.

Even so, you're also probably right about how people who are one or the other, might view each other. i was looking at them as methods used by the writer, you're seeing it as a quality of the writer's mind... so it's possible there are situations of conflict between mindset and method. For example: a school of writing might have a bias towards analytic methods, which might drive bonkers any students who are [edit] synthetically-minded.

* * *

Sidebar: Synthesis/synthetic versus analysis/analytic, is bothering me too. Let's see...

1 : relating to or involving synthesis : not analytic
4 a : of, relating to, or produced by chemical or biochemical synthesis; especially : produced artificially
b : devised, arranged, or fabricated for special situations to imitate or replace usual realities

Ah. For some reason it stuck in my peabrain that synthetic method would mean the method itself is artificial, as opposed to the method implies a process of synthesis. Yet in plain sight, the latter is the first possible definition. [grins] So synthetic method vs. analytic method works. (Thanks for prompting me to look that up.)

Re: The First Two Pages

Are there universal standards? Or simply if a million people love it, it doesn't matter if the other million hate it?

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I think of this question another way: Imagine you are a new author standing in a bookstore, and you are suddenly given a celestial gift to look out and see everyone in the world at once. You can see that the world consists of many different audiences--some read for escapism, some to confirm their political beliefs, some to impress their friends, some to find inspiration, some to live inside other characters, some to....

You get the idea. There are many audiences out there.

And most individuals are actually members of more than one audience.

"Success" is just a matter of appealing to and finding your intended audience. Jonathan Franzen can turn Oprah down because, in his mind, her audience doesn't overlap with his. Being a success to her audience, and the scorn he might suffer from his intended audience because of it, would be a failure.

That's how I see it, anyway.

FYI: My intended audience is People With Lots Of Disposable Cash.

How do you cope, remedy, or avoid back pain? Certain furniture, ergonomics, exercise, medication?

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I must have missed this the first time through--Exercise your ab muscles. Seriously. I'm a lazy SOB, but I do just enough crunches to keep my back from laying me out.

What do you look for in your own work, to correct mistakes like this?

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Detente gives the answer I would have--put the manuscript away. Give it two months, if you want to be extra careful, then take it out and read it.

Re: The First Two Pages

I note that this phenomenon isn't restricted to fanfic authors; some beginning authors in general make the same mistake. They see the scene in their head clearly, but then forget to transfer any of that clarity onto the paper.

That's what we call a "head story." Your beta readers will become invaluable here (as will putting the manuscript into your desk drawer for a month or three before re-reading it).

Analysing openings may teach you how to write good openings. Analysing endings will teach you how to write good books.

revising a novel: how to proceed?

I wrote draft 1 rather quickly. The resulting manuscript was, well, drafty, with great gaping holes at 65,000 words.

Draft 2 took months... and came in at 92,000 words.

I started in on draft 3 last night. After an hour of fiddling with the language in chapters 1 through 5, I realized I was going about it all wrong. I need to consider the structure of the story, the pacing, the narrative whole, before I start polishing little bits and pieces.

So today I took a list of the chapter titles and wrote a brief synopsis next to each one. It helped me see that some chapters probably could be combined--and others split in two. One subplot isn't worked out fully--that will need more attention.

There's character that is never heard from again after his appearance in an early scene. He's a loose end that bothers me--either he should show up later on, or someone should explain his absence, or he should be written out of the book altogether.

My guess is that next I need to read through the whole thing, making notes, looking for gaps, making sure that things promised early on come to fruition before the end, and that the way is properly prepared for things that happen later.

But I'm making this up as I go along. (This is my first novel.) Can you suggest any additional techniques for structural revisions?

Re: revising a novel: how to proceed?

But I'm making this up as I go along. (This is my first novel.)

Sounds good to me so far, really. (i'm mystified at how you were able to do three distinct drafts, since i am incapable of doing that, but i digress...)

The use of chapter synopsis was a good move, for example. i found for myself that the novel has to be juggled almost like working on a picture in MSPaint or Photoshop or other graphics program; zoom in to do the detail, zoom out to check the whole thing, zoom in again, etc. And synopsis is like zooming out, so that's what i did eventually.

To me, you really sound like you know what you're doing, so perhaps you are looking for reassurance as much as pointers? i'm trying to think of something useful, but aside from "find a trusted friend to beta read, if you haven't"...

Hm. i can relate to your "loose end" character, though. i have one in my novel, and i ended up excising him after i felt that exploring him just wouldn't suit the story.

Perhaps for you, you could sit down and just run with your guy for awhile, on a separate file or piece of paper or whathaveyou. See what comes of it. Maybe he'll be come more interesting, or maybe he'll bore you. He may point out something that you can use to make another character better... or even become worthy of his own book.


After an hour of fiddling with the language in chapters 1 through 5, I realized I was going about it all wrong. I need to consider the structure of the story, the pacing, the narrative whole, before I start polishing little bits and pieces.

Hm. Rereading this, i dunno. My methods involve doing exactly what you feel shouldn't be done. For me, the process of polishing the prose sometimes led to new ideas. Or revealed that certain bits just weren't working. Or allowed me to catch errors that i missed on earlier full-bore readthroughs.

Does your story have definite "arcs" of plot and/or setting? My novel started out as one big chunk, then became two distinct halves, then segmented into six arcs. The flow continues across all the segments, but there are definite jumps of setting, specific events, and theme that distinguish the arcs.

If you can identify that kind of thing in your structure, it might help, since i found that working with an arc across a sixth of a novel (15,000 pages?) can lead to it being tighter and leaner than working with an arc that is a whole half (40,000?).

In any event, there are quite a few knowledgeable people here, so i imagine something useful will turn up for you.

Re: revising a novel: how to proceed?

Yes, Crusader, you rightly detected a wish for reassurance. I'm lighting out for the territories, and I'm anxious about getting lost. (Although I suspect that getting lost is part of the process....)

Thanks for reminding me about story arcs. My novel has seven sections, so I need to ensure that each scene, chapter, and section have their own arcs, as must the book as a whole. I'm finding that having descriptive chapter and section titles is much more helpful than using simple numbers--the titles help me focus on the heart of each segment.

Still, I wouldn't mind more advice about the process. Anyone else?

Re: revising a novel: how to proceed?

My guess is that next I need to read through the whole thing, making notes, looking for gaps, making sure that things promised early on come to fruition before the end, and that the way is properly prepared for things that happen later.

That's what I call doing agricultural work. You go through and make sure that everything that happens at the end was planted in the beginning, and that everything that happened in the beginning sprouted.

The things that didn't sprout you prune back. The things that did sprout, you make sure have plenty of fertilizer spread on 'em and are watered frequently.

A technique that works for some people when they're making sure the whole novel is there on the page, not just in your head, is to write it as a flow chart. That will also show you branches that don't come to a conclusion.

It's perfectly okay to leave some loose ends. Nothing is ever fully tied up. (That's what makes sequels possible.)

You will, at some point, have to get the whole novel into your head at one time. That means just reading it straight through, fast. Where that comes in the revision process is probably going to be when you're pretty happy with the parts. May I suggest at that time that you print it out in some format that you've not been using -- single space double column justified Times New Roman, for example -- so that the memory of what was there before doesn't get in front of the text you're seeing now.

I do small text-twiddles as I notice things, every time I look at the manuscript. The final polish comes after the whole plot is put together.

(The technique of writing one-parapgraph summaries of each chapter is a good one. Lots of people use it.)

Onward. When you find yourself adding a comma in the morning and taking it out in the afternoon -- that's when it's time to send off this manuscript and start the next one.

Three more amusing links

<a href="http://www.realrates.com/cgi-bin/authorrptd.cgi" target="_new">First novel advances; writers' careers</a>

<a href="http://www.sfwa.org/writing/faq2.htm" target="_new">FAQ for Beginning Writers</a>

<a href="http://www.mysterywriters.org/pages/resources/library/economics.htm" target="_new">The Economics of Publishing</a>

Re: revising a novel: how to proceed?

You go through and make sure that everything that happens at the end was planted in the beginning...

Very vivid analogy. Of course, now i'm seeing 'weeds' everywhere in my work...


A technique that works for some people when they're making sure the whole novel is there on the page, not just in your head, is to write it as a flow chart.

Never thought of this. It reminds me of being drilled in Creative Writing to use those brainstorming charts where a person draws a circle, labels it a concept, then draws other circles nearby, and ... and... um... (help?)

Anyway, er, that method of charting the flow of ideas didn't appeal to me at first. But i found myself dragging it out of the shed many years later. So i wonder if i could likewise make use of flowcharts...


It's perfectly okay to leave some loose ends. Nothing is ever fully tied up. (That's what makes sequels possible.)

Life does have times where it doesn't tie up neatly. A writer might benefit from identifying if the loose end (LE) is a danging thread on a cuff or a long run in the pantyhose. Like, if your beta readers suggest that the LE is interesting enough to be noticeable, then letting it dangle could be annoying.

[trying not to ramble, but failing] It also seems to involve the contrast between whatever is happening in the story around the LE, vs. the LE itself. So... if you have a relatively slow part, and the LE is interesting, it might annoy a reader far more than if you have the same LE in a blizzard of action.


You will, at some point, have to get the whole novel into your head at one time. That means just reading it straight through, fast.

Which i would connect back to the frequent advice about putting the novel in a drawer for awhile. Indeed, i've found that it's easier for me to read my novel fast if it feels fresh. By contrast, having a burned-out brain from many consecutive nights and days of editing made me skim instead of read, so i missed things constantly.


Onward. When you find yourself adding a comma in the morning and taking it out in the afternoon -- that's when it's time to send off this manuscript and start the next one.

People with very analytic, or obsessive, tendencies may wish to pay close attention to this advice. In my case, it isn't so much that i get stuck on moving the comma around; what i get stuck on is re-evaluating the words around the comma, which can lead me to tweak them, which can lead me to reimagine what the character is doing or what the plot looks like, which can lead me to get a better idea of what should be going on, which can lead me to pull everything apart...

So i definitely echo the above advice, insofar as a writer would be wise to weigh the worth of "being near the end of the race, but suddenly deciding to run another lap", which is what the whole comma-moving thing can turn into.

Re: The First Two Pages

i read it as "even if somebody tells me i goofed in Ch. 1, my habits will likely lead me to make the same mistake again in Ch. 2." Which is a rather cynical comment upon one's own ability to learn from mistakes... =( But i digress.

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@ Crusader,

My apologies for not responding sooner, I'm just now getting over my annual bout with the creeping crud. :lol

And you read it correctly. Sort of. I guess a good example would be something brought up to me in a crit of my first chapter I posted in SYW by Preyer about the crows in the middle of the city during the winter time. I wrongly assumed this was a common occurance in most mid-to-large cities during the winter time (apparently it's regional). So when my character encountered a rather large one, I didn't consider that anyone would be curious about why that crow was there, and I didn't want to treat my reader as stupid by throwing in an info-dump. It's easily rectified with a short passage of descriptive, fortunately. But the problem could remain. How do I avoid this mistake in the future?

The simple answer that I got from all this (and the valuable lesson I learned from Preyer), is don't assume anything! :lol

I'll be looking closer at what I write, beyond the usual things.

I want to apologize for the tone of my previous post. I was not intending to make anyone think they were talking over my head. It's more along the lines of...sometimes, it takes a different explaination before it sinks in. Examples seem to work best for the way I learn. Did that make sense? :\

Re: The First Two Pages

@drgnlvrljh:

Apologies? To me? Embarassing and unnecessary, but i appreciate the thought. =) Of course, what's more important is that now apparently you're feeling better?

Moving along... i took a look back at your original post. i'm amused, because i read you wrong, or you read me wrong, or we read each other wrong at the same time.

Regardless, here's the summary: you asked about clarity. i took that to mean "the novel and the headscene aren't matching." And i recall that in SYW you and i had talked about a piece from your work-in-progress (or i hope so; if not, now i KNOW i'm going senile.) So i rattled off ideas in that context.

Now, though, it's evident that you meant clarity in a different way. With the crow example, the novel and your headscene were in fact clearly similar. So the lack of clear connection was in fact between both of those, vs. the real world that you were trying to imitate/incorporate.

Thus, all my earlier answers should go in the circular file as far as the context of "making the novel and headscene agree"...

... but then i'd take the ideas out, dust them off, and offer them humbly to you again, as far as the new context of "making the headscene and novel agree with the real world."

As you've discovered, assumptions are often problematic. And they can hide in the worst place of all--right out in the open--'cos it's our blindness that is hiding it.

(Incidentally, that's the science behind the most perfect cloaking device in all of sci-fi--the Somebody Else's Problem field. If you can make me assume that the object you want to hide is Somebody Else's Problem, then the object will vanish from my eyes. [credits to the eminent researcher Douglas Adams for defining the field's equations.])

So, writers can combat assumptions by 1.) doing research and taking notes, plus 2.) having experts and objective observers on hand to read the novel and catch the bogus assumptions.

And, with regard to "needing examples to learn best"--me too. So i entirely relate to where you're coming from. =) (Let me jump to an odd conclusion: you're one of those folks who can put something together without reading the instructions?)

Re: revising a novel: how to proceed?

Jim, thanks for the helpful suggestions.

I did use flow charts early on. In fact, you drew the first one for me at VP6 in 2002. I'd brought a short story that the instructors felt worked better as the beginning of a novel. (Patrick, Jim K., and Debra all agreed on this point. Debra helped me with omniscient POV. Teresa helped me figure out how burning feathers smelled by setting some hair from Debra's hairbrush alight.)

When the novel took off in surprising directions, I left the flowcharts behind. But perhaps this would be a good way to check out the bones of the book and see if they add up to a proper skeleton.

And I'll certainly try the double column/different font technique.

I'm sure I won't be able to resist doing little fiddly changes along the way. I just don't want to get bogged down in them and neglect to look at the story as a whole.

Thanks again.

Re: The First Two Pages

@ Crusader,

Indeed! Ex: "The biggest, blackest crow she'd ever seen." was working from the assumption that the -idea- of the crow was not all that unusual, but the the size of it was. Of course, that line, regardless, leaves much to be desired, true. Gotta love "first" drafts! :lol

The headscene wasn't so much a laundry list of what made the crow so huge (ie; wingspan, comparison to the roadkill it was protecting, etc), but her thoughts and feelings when she saw it. Sidebar: When I lived in Michigan (briefly), I had driven down a well maintained dirt road that was wide enough for two cars to pass comfortably, and was lined by very tall trees. I saw a crow swoop down, and fly ahead of my car for a bit, and was awed by the sheer size of the creature! I swear the wingspan was nearly as wide as the road itself! The feeling of awe that a mere -crow- would get that big struck me dumb. I had no words for it. And I think that might be where my "fear" of making the same mistake over again might arise from. (Now that I've rambled on, and talked in circles, I finally hit upon the point).

A thesaurus, of course, is invaluable. The "Biggest, blackest crow she'd ever seen." is a clearly blatant example of not getting the headscene to mesh with the real scene, but even experienced writers, I would think, would still have the problem, when mere words fail us. The head/real scene mis-match is not going to be quite so obvious for someone with more experience. How do you rectify this? Or avoid it altogether? Of course, the first, best answer, is set the story aside, then look at it later with a cleaner eye. But are there other ways, other techniques that might work, as well?


PS--

(Let me jump to an odd conclusion: you're one of those folks who can put something together without reading the instructions?)

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Actually, yes! :lol Although, I don't guarantee my results! And I do keep the instructions as a reference if things get a little complicated (I put together a futon once, and was about 1/2 way through, cussin' and fussin', before I realized I was using the allen wrench wrong)

Re: The First Two Pages

Sometimes it doesn't matter whether the scene in the writer's head matches the scene in the reader's head.

If the writer is imagining Russell Crowe and the reader is imagining Johnny Depp -- it doesn't matter so long as the plot isn't affected.

That elevator at the beginning of The Street Lawyer ... were the doors brass? Brushed chrome? Natural walnut? It doesn't matter. Each reader made a picture that made sense to them.

The biggest, blackest crow a character has ever seen will be interpreted by the readers in terms of the biggest, blackest crows they personally have ever seen. What of it? They'll supply the crow they need, in terms they understand.

(For that matter, I'd seriously consider whether the bigness of the crow or the blackness of the crow was the most important part of the description, and cut the other adjective.)

Only add detail if it enhances the story.

Remember the mantra:

The words belong that

Advance the plot,
Support the theme, or
Reveal character.

Re: The First Two Pages

The biggest, blackest crow a character has ever seen will be interpreted by the readers in terms of the biggest, blackest crows they personally have ever seen. What of it? They'll supply the crow they need, in terms they understand.

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I agree, in that the description of the crow itself was immaterial. Where I got lost, was trying to convey the sense of awe she felt when she first saw it. That seems to be a place where I tend to lose my words, so to speak.

(For that matter, I'd seriously consider whether the bigness of the crow or the blackness of the crow was the most important part of the description, and cut the other adjective.)

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*coughcough* Oops?

But yes, I wholly agree.

Re:

@drgnlvrljh:

It was said, "sometimes it doesn't matter whether the scene in the writer's head matches the scene in the reader's head."

Which is a very good point. i just want to clarify if the point matches what you were looking for, since you said "sometimes the scene in the writer's head doesn't match the scene in reality".

So, let's just pull apart some ways that a scene can fail.

1-Writer doesn't write the scene in their head clearly into the novel. Reader is left with something too vague.

2-Writer doesn't write the scene clearly, and the scene also flubs a key detail of reality. Reader is left with something vague and confusing.

3-Writer writes the scene very clearly, but the scene flubs a key detail of reality. Reader is left with something vivid, but confusing.

4-Writer writes the scene very clearly, gets all the key details right, but it's a weak scene. Reader is left with something vivid, accurate, but flat.

It looks like your questions are asking about how to avoid #2, though on some level i'd guess you're worried about the others as well. But anyway, as far as #2, i don't know that it's necessary to worry about avoiding it moreso than worrying about catching it.

i mean, a novel is a huge thing to keep straight in a brain as defective as mine. And life can get in the way. So even with piles of good notes taken before i even start writing, it's possible to mangle something without realizing it. Like if i took detailed notes on street locations, then stayed up till 2am writing, and was so sleepy that i accidentally mixed up two key street names.

Well, the mistake is done. What matters is that i, or a beta reader, spot it. That's where the notes help, since the mixed-up streets in the novel and the correct streets in the notes clearly wouldn't match.

i mean, even when carpenters "measure twice and cut once" to avoid mistakes, i imagine an earthquake sometimes messes up the cut anyway. =)

* * *

Anyway, it was also said, "The biggest, blackest crow a character has ever seen will be interpreted by the readers in terms of the biggest, blackest crows they personally have ever seen. What of it? They'll supply the crow they need, in terms they understand."

i can't make up my mind about this point. i've heard it repeated here and elsewhere, and it seems to make perfect sense, yet it also seems counterintuitive. [rambles on for two hours]


Actually, yes! :lol Although, I don't guarantee my results!

When you said you prefer examples, it suggested a visual or tactile method of learning and problem-solving. i relate.
(And it's smart of you to not give out guarantees. [very amused] Less litigation that way, i bet.)

A world with rough edges

Accidental inspiration occurs in a world with rough edges. It's those things we didn't really calculate, or quite mean to say, or a blurt, that sometimes says more than it is meant to say.

Illustration. Paul McCartney wrote "Hey Jude", and wrote a line that he couldn't reconcile. He wasn't quite sure what it meant, and said to John, "Don't worry, I'll remove that and change it later"

And John said to the effect, "No, no, leave it. That's brilliant."

"The movement you need is on your shoulder"

Well, Paul wasn't quite certain what it meant, and perhaps no one is. It just seems to fit and you have a "I sort of know what that means" feeling without ever really having to define it.

I think a Big Black Crow, is a rough edge statement, in that it isn't about factual matters, but something that makes you pause and think. "What head space was the protagonist in?" Were his perceptions hyper aware, even distorted. Was he in a place of darkness that was overwhelming?

I think in our desire to be perfect, sometimes we become sterile instead, which is unfortunate. It's the impurities in the water that give it the flavor.