How can I show a character doing a Doubletake

If you have to ask it suggests you don't know and if you don't know how to show it why do you think anyone will understand if you do eventually 'show' it?

Honestly, don't try - simply say so.

You are welcome.

Given the speed at which a double-take occurs, it'd probably be clunky to devote too much description to how it happens, instead of just saying something along the line of 'x did a doubletake for reason Y.'

WHAT!

AndreF said:

How can I show a character doing a doubletake?

Click to expand...

You can just say it:

John did a double-take.

Or you can describe it (and there are probably dozens of ways to do that). Some rough examples:

He looked, and looked again, longer this time.

He looked once, then twice.

His gaze slid past her, then jerked back, riveted.

A lot's going to depend on whether the POV character is the one doing the double-take, or if someone else is observing it.

what beth said....there are lots of ways to do it, they all are mostly shuffling and substitution of the words to either say "John did a double-take" or show him doing so

Sometimes, it's possible to take "show don't tell" too far.

Some things are easier just to tell.

Mary was laughing loudly from the other room. John entered, glancing first at her red face, then at the television, but then, something registered on his awareness and his gaze snapped back to Mary. Yes, there it was, a snot bubble, glistening in the light of the television, growing larger with each peel of laughter.

In my humble opinion I would only interpret a double-take as a double-take if it's simply called a double-take.

These example descriptions of eye or head movement merely suggest to me the understanding/meaning of what was said or done took a little time to sink in or was being slowly registered or wasn't fully believed or.....

There's only one movement for a 'double-take'and most folk know instantly what 'did a double-take' is.

BethS said:

You can just say it:

John did a double-take.

Or you can describe it (and there are probably dozens of ways to do that). Some rough examples:

He looked, and looked again, longer this time.

He looked once, then twice.

His gaze slid past her, then jerked back, riveted.

A lot's going to depend on whether the POV character is the one doing the double-take, or if someone else is observing it.

Click to expand...

What about a spit-take?

BethS said:

You can just say it:

John did a double-take.

Or you can describe it (and there are probably dozens of ways to do that). Some rough examples:

He looked, and looked again, longer this time.

He looked once, then twice.

His gaze slid past her, then jerked back, riveted.

A lot's going to depend on whether the POV character is the one doing the double-take, or if someone else is observing it.

Click to expand...

These are all great suggestions. Thanks!

Bufty said:

In my humble opinion I would only interpret a double-take as a double-take if it's simply called a double-take.

[snip]

There's only one movement for a 'double-take'and most folk know instantly what 'did a double-take' is.

Click to expand...

I agree, in contemporary novels. But can I still use this very modern sounding idiom in a novel set in ancient Egypt? Hmm...

Kallithrix said:

I agree, in contemporary novels. But can I still use this very modern sounding idiom in a novel set in ancient Egypt? Hmm...

Click to expand...

There's no way to write a novel about ancient Egypt without using modern language, and this includes such things as a double take.

I don't know the language, but I'd guess they had a word for double take, as well.

But of you want to describe it, doing so isn't difficult. Just don't try to get fancy.

I have one sort of spit-take in the WIP:

Teresa snorted into her coffee. I passed a napkin over. She wiped her face and looked over at me. "Should I?"

Click to expand...

Bufty said:

In my humble opinion I would only interpret a double-take as a double-take if it's simply called a double-take.

These example descriptions of eye or head movement merely suggest to me the understanding/meaning of what was said or done took a little time to sink in or was being slowly registered or wasn't fully believed or.....

Click to expand...

But isn't that what a double-take is?

From Merriam Webster:

"An act of quickly looking at something that is surprising or unusual a second time after looking at it a moment earlier.

A delayed reaction to a surprising or significant situation after an initial failure to notice anything unusual."

You could do it in character POV

"John watched the passing cars with half an eye, seventy-five percent less eyes than he should've been using. But the day was hot and even with the windows down he expected a nap to accost him at any moment. Traffic rolled by in a steady stream, shoving dirty air and sound into his battered sedan: A cream pick-up speckled with rust like the chocolate shavings on coffee; A ford focus that rattled like it was powered by tin cans; a gorgeous chrysler drop-top with an equally repulsive bald dude behind the wheel deep in the throes of a midlife crisis; A souped up hearse surrounded by the smoggy mist of a particularly bad catalytic problem, complete with flaming torches on the sides and zombie-costumed driver; a minivan stuffed full of little faces pressed against the glass; a white truck slashed with green li -

John snapped upright like a man-handled Buckaroo(tm). "What in the name of JFK's pink pants...?"

.....something like that

Could you do it in dialogue?

"Well, I suppose - wait, what?"

Twick said:

Could you do it in dialogue?

"Well, I suppose - wait, what?"

Click to expand...

Absolutely.

That attempt at dialogue definition of a double-take doesn't create a double-take image for me.

A dictionary definition is one thing. An attempt to describe it is another and so is folk's perception of what one thinks one has described.

Sometimes, simple is best.

or maybe a subtle approach:
description of something vague, about her (good figure)
followed by an in depth evaluation (her measurements, this time)
done well, this might work w/o having to say double take
not that there's anything wrong with just saying so

"Doubletake" is one of those words I can't use in my own stories (since it's anachronistic in a pre-industrial fantasy setting that has no film industry).

When/if it happens, I'd probably just write something along the lines of, "She looked away, then whipped her head back around. What in the hells? Why was a dog wearing full court dress?" If it's something I wanted/needed to dwell on or describe.

If it's just in passing, I might just write: "She started to look away, then turned back."

Bufty said:

That attempt at dialogue definition of a double-take doesn't create a double-take image for me.

A dictionary definition is one thing. An attempt to describe it is another and so is folk's perception of what one thinks one has described.

Sometimes, simple is best.

Click to expand...

"He did a double take" assumes that all double takes are created equal. They aren't. Consider the following: http://youtu.be/-dTHaMOz4ws

I'd prefer to show over telling.

In The Prisoner of Zenda with Peter Sellers, the villain does a triple take, and pulls it off. Beauty!