Elf on the Shelf prepares kids to live in a police state?

I think the whole idea of Santa/an elf spying on kids to make sure they're being good is creepy, in general. But I don't really blame the Elf on the Shelf for that. I "blame" parents who decide to take in that direction. By "blame," I'm not really assigning judgment to parents who teach their kids this. I just think that families are the ones responsible for the traditions they decide to have. Not some book and toy you buy at Target.

The "rules" associated with the Elf on the Shelf are completely made-up. There's nothing wrong with breaking them or coming up with new rules, just like there's nothing wrong with, say, pretending that your ballerina Barbie is a doctor. I mean, isn't the whole point of holiday traditions that they're custom-fitted to your family in some way? If I were a parent, I might get that Elf for my kids just because I like elves and it could be a fun, special Christmas toy. But I wouldn't teach them that the elf is reporting on their behavior, or that they can't touch it. I like the idea of moving it around and letting the kids wonder if it did it on its own, though. My mom did that a couple times with my action figures when I was a kid, and I loved it.

But I just think the holidays are a lot more fun when you're willing to be a little flexible. For example, growing up, I knew that the way it was "supposed" to work was that Santa came while you slept, and you found out what he brought when you woke up the next morning. But from the time I was three or four, going to sleep on Christmas Eve was pretty futile. One of my earliest Christmas memories is being up on Christmas Eve and looking out my bedroom window to see if Rudolph was in the back yard. My parents quickly decided that expecting me to go to sleep and wait until morning to find out if Santa came was futile, so instead, my mom would read me a Christmas book while my dad put out the Santa presents. My mom would "hear Santa" and tell me she was going to go check, and to stay in the bedroom. Then she'd come back and tell me that yes, Santa had just come. We'd end up opening presents late Christmas Eve night, sometimes staying up until the wee hours of the morning. That was our tradition, and it worked for us. (It did result in some silly situations, though. One time, after putting out the presents, my dad decided to use the bathroom. When I heard the toilet flush, I thought it was Santa ).

Anyway, long story short, I don't think the elf has to be creepy. If anything, I think going by the rules outlined in the book/package is a bit artificial, unless you're really intro them. He does look a bit creepy, though. I'll give you that.

I generally agree with the Maenid (the article struck me as overwrought hokum), however, this:

DancingMaenid said:

My parents quickly decided that expecting me to go to sleep and wait until morning to find out if Santa came was futile, so instead, my mom would read me a Christmas book while my dad put out the Santa presents. My mom would "hear Santa" and tell me she was going to go check, and to stay in the bedroom.

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...Sounds like the start of a horror movie and made me spew soda all over my keyboard when I read it.

JohnnyGottaKeyboard said:

I generally agree with the Maenid (the article struck me as overwrought hokum), however, this:...Sounds like the start of a horror movie and made me spew soda all over my keyboard when I read it.

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Definitely could be the start of a horror movie...

CassandraW said:

Or so says this paper published by the Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives:

I have always found Elf on the Shelf creepy. Now I know why.

ETA:

Actually, I think it's just that he looks creepy. Either way. Get him away from me.

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I only ever heard of the thing last year (and in passing), but it seems like everyone is referring to the thing on social media, talking about it, debating it and so on. So I googled it and discovered that the "tradition" originated in a children's book that was published a few years back (2005).

And it sounds awfully like a tool to give parents more control over their kids than stalker Santa alone during the crazy days leading up to Christmas.

The little elf doll doesn't strike me as terribly cute, but then, I was way past the target age when the story came out (and I have no kids of my own).

Chuck Wendig has weighed in on the matter, however.

Roxxsmom said:

Chuck Wendig has weighed in on the matter, however.

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Nailed it!

And maybe my age is showing here, but I do think something needs to have originated longer ago than 2005 to be considered a "tradition."

You do realize that if a foreign country ever seizes and waterboards Elf on a Shelf, the reputation of our political leadership is gonna take a huge hit. Huge, I say.

CassandraW said:

I generally condemn torture. But I'll make an exception for the Elf on a Shelf.

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I hated elves, pixies, fairies, garden gnomes, and other miniature humanoids when I was a kid. I can't explain it, but it was a deep, visceral distaste for the little uncanny-valley bastards. Anyone else feel that way? Or was it just me? If an elf had turned up on Kid Albedo's shelf, it would have been subjected to unlicensed, ethically questionable xenografting experiments.

You expect me to talk, Kid Albedo?

No, I expect to replace your limbs with cicada wings. Muhahahaha! DON'T COME IN MY ROOM MUM NO I DON'T WANNA GO SEE THE NICE LADY WHO MAKES ME TALK ABOUT MY FEELINGS AGAIN

Albedo said:

I hated elves, pixies, fairies, garden gnomes, and other miniature humanoids when I was a kid. I can't explain it, but it was a deep, visceral distaste for the little uncanny-valley bastards. Anyone else feel that way? Or was it just me? If an elf had turned up on Kid Albedo's shelf, it would have been subjected to unlicensed, ethically questionable xenografting experiments.

You expect me to talk, Kid Albedo?

No, I expect to replace your limbs with cicada wings. Muhahahaha! DON'T COME IN MY ROOM MUM NO I DON'T WANNA GO SEE THE NICE LADY WHO MAKES ME TALK ABOUT MY FEELINGS AGAIN

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They hit me in the uncanny valley too. I didn't even like dolls if they attempted to be too realistic. Those glittering, glass eyes, eeeeeek! But the thing that really creeped me out were those kewpie dolls that some people still had when I was a kid. I never got why they were sporting some strange hybrid between a punk rock hairdo and a seriously balding guy fringe around the side of the head either.

So I'm not the only one? Hah, take that, baffled child psychologists! I'm normal!

Um, I mean, it's interesting to see others* also have this aversion to creepy homunculi, in doll form or otherwise. This stupid elf might or might not be contributing to the creeping cultural acceptance of the state panopticon, but I don't know if it deserves any more blame than, say, the idea of an omniscient, disapproving god.

What it can be blamed for is being a soulless, man-shaped abomination before the Lord.



*I wonder if there isn't also a lot of overlap with people who hate clowns? Because f**k clowns.

Albedo said:

So I'm not the only one? Hah, take that, baffled child psychologists! I'm normal!

Um, I mean, it's interesting to see others* also have this aversion to creepy homunculi, in doll form or otherwise. This stupid elf might or might not be contributing to the creeping cultural acceptance of the state panopticon, but I don't know if it deserves any more blame than, say, the idea of an omniscient, disapproving god.

What it can be blamed for is being a soulless, man-shaped abomination before the Lord.



*I wonder if there isn't also a lot of overlap with people who hate clowns? Because f**k clowns.

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Of interest, I think, is the fact that pixies, faeries, elves (the famous Machine Elves) and clown-like beings are often reported in accounts of DMT hallucinations (see Strassman DMT: The Spririt Molecule, or Strassman et al. Inner Paths to Outer Space, or fuck it, just read a few accounts at erowids vault). While the large numbers of such hallucinatory "sightings" aren't necessarily, like some accept, proof of the supernatural or even extra-dimensional realities, they do suggest deep archetypical psychological structures that have existed since the dawn of humanity judging from the myths and folk beliefs that have been passed down to us. Which begs another question.

It makes sense that people often possess (especially expressed in childhood): fears of the dark, of large scary animals, of strangers, but why elves and clowns? If you want to argue backwards from this point, you could say that the fear exists because of their commonality in DMT encounters and DMT being endogenous and often released at times of excessive stress (life or death situations, birth, and while dying, and dreaming) we developed an associated aversion attached to such situations which we then blamed on the encounters with elves rather than the bio-chemical reaction to external stimuli that induced them.

Perhaps, as Jacques Vallee argues in his Passport to Magonia that elves, trolls, faeries, clowns?, and more recently, space aliens are all the same thing: either an extra-dimensional control system or some projection from deep within the collective unconscious. Both seem somewhat teleological.

Either way, all if this, whether we're being endlessly observed by God, elves, space aliens, or clowns? it still doesn't make it right or acceptable for our own government to watch our every move Big Brother style. We may not be able to keep God or extra-dimensional clowns from watching us at all times...but we damn well can take a stand against the NSA's abuses, and keep these creepy-ass elf toys on the store shelves.

And why clowns?

Thanks, Di, now my semi-frequent sleep paralysis nightmares are going to incorporate the threat of extradimensional clown espionage. Like I needed another reason to get less sleep.


Maybe it's all species guilt over our omnicide of Homo pixii 200,000 years B.P.?

Albedo said:

Thanks, Di, now my semi-frequent sleep paralysis nightmares are going to incorporate the threat of extradimensional clown espionage. Like I needed another reason to get less sleep.

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That's what I'm here for.

Albedo said:

Maybe it's all species guilt over our omnicide of Homo pixii 200,000 years B.P.?

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I wouldn't rule it out as a possibility.

Roxxsmom said:

And maybe my age is showing here, but I do think something needs to have originated longer ago than 2005 to be considered a "tradition."

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You are getting into old school territory. Old school trap, old school dubstep, old school electrohouse.

DancingMaenid said:

The "rules" associated with the Elf on the Shelf are completely made-up. There's nothing wrong with breaking them or coming up with new rules, just like there's nothing wrong with, say, pretending that your ballerina Barbie is a doctor.

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I agree. The author of the piece seemed to be implying that there was something creepy or oppressive about there being "rules" for how kids play with Elf On A Shelf. There are rules because it's a game. Kids play games with rules all the time. In fact, most toys do have a guideline for how kids can play with them. But these are just ideas. If you buy the elf for your kids, and they don't like the game, they can play with the toy a different way, or cuddle with it like a rag doll.

When I was a kid, my mom would buy an advent calendar, and we could open up a different door each day. It told a story that rhymed. If we had wanted to, and my mother had allowed it, we could have opened them all at once. But then we wouldn't have the fun of waking up every morning to see what happened next.

I swear I saw the elf as a generic decoration several years, decades, even, before this "tradition" was created.

BenPanced said:

I swear I saw the elf as a generic decoration several years, decades, even, before this "tradition" was created.

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Me too. I remember seeing something almost exactly like it in the early to mid 70's.

Does anyone else find this link cathartic?

(and apropos to the thread title )

Diana Hignutt said:

Me too. I remember seeing something almost exactly like it in the early to mid 70's.

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I think we might have had one when I was growing up, which would put it early to mid 70's.

BenPanced said:

I swear I saw the elf as a generic decoration several years, decades, even, before this "tradition" was created.

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We had an elf Christmas tree ornament that looked very much like the elf on a shelf doll (though he was wearing green stripes and not red) when I was growing up, and I think my mom had actually gotten it from her own mother. It always made my brother and me shudder. Now it's in my box of ornaments in the garage, since my mom divvied up a lot of the props from my brother's and my childhoods a while back, and guess who got mister creepy elf? So yes, these cutesy elves have been around for a while. But not in the same context.

But maybe the creepiness of the thing is no accident. Perhaps it was spying on us all along, and that's why it bothered us so

c.e.lawson said:

Does anyone else find this link cathartic?

(and apropos to the thread title )

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Ha!

Big Elf is Watching You.