First Draft Revision

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WeaselFire

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I just wanted to point out something I ran across revising the first draft of my current work. I've always struggled with the first chapter and opening lines and usually rework them a dozen times during the writing of the first draft. I also see a lot of questions here about where to start a novel, usually trying to figure out the inciting incident and so on.

I remember a writing teacher about 12 millennia ago going through a first chapter of a fellow student. The student had worked on her chapter for several months and honed it to the best possible work she could do. My teacher, in a group review where we all thought the writing was wonderful, made the comment "That's very nice, but it's not your story, is it?"

It was brutal and we all felt the sting, but she was right. The chapter was all back story that didn't really tell any of the story. I have always worked to make sure I didn't make that mistake.

But reading my first chapter I suddenly realized something. The book is a mystery, the opening scene is in the main character's bar and introduces a cast of supporting players, sets the scene and closes with what I thought was a brilliant line. A character from the past comes in, points to the newspaper headline of a dead guy found in a fire, a story the characters had been discussing, and says "He was my employee."

That sets the book off and running, and begins the main story line. Yep. The death, the headline, the preamble, none were really the inciting incident. It was that character's line, the last one in the chapter. So my revised chapter starts with:

“Paco was my employee.”

I'd rewritten the first chapter several times from scratch, changing characters, working in the details and making the dialogue perfect. And in three seconds it was all tossed out. And it needed to be. The take away from this is that famous writing advice from Q - "Murder your darlings."

Hope it helps someone else's focus.

Jeff
 
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Kris Ashton

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I've been there before. I was shopping around a long short story for a year or two with no success, before a slush reader said in a short critique, "I think this story should start on page 4." He or she was absolutely right. I cut 1000 words of 'scene setting' and got the story published almost right away.

I have been very mindful of 'starting at the start' ever since.
 

Osulagh

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Pre-note: I believe that you're always going to "teach" the reader something as we're communicating something new to them continuously--as in the story--and the beginning is a tricky place for writers. First, we sometimes feel the need to massively update the reader on what has happened and not focus on what is happening. Second, if we do cut out all the backstory, it can be hard to ground the reader--so, in some cases, you need a good balance.

It was that character's line, the last one in the chapter.

I've heard a lot of advice of, "Cut the first chapter, start with the second" but equally and not as celebrated, I find some of the best advice for openings is, "Cut the end of the first, continue with the second."
Which I followed in my current story. I had this problem where I was trying to create sympathy for my MC and their struggle while the enemy waited on the side, before they dove into the danger at the end of the chapter. I found nearly the whole chapter to be a dull read, and after several dozen revisions, I just scrapped it all and ran with the ending--in a revised way. And it worked out far better than I could have hoped.
 

Lady MacBeth

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Good advice. Thanks for posting.
 

phantasy

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I do this a lot. It makes me sad and I fight it by trying to fit some parts back in, but if it must go, it must go. Besides, I'm a writer and I'll create some more darlings soon enough. :)
 

Hopefully WLCT

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I started my WIP with chapter one. After finishing my WIP, I threw chapter one away. I go back working on it, every so often with ideas I get from editing the remaining 35 chapters. Although it's not any where near completed, I like my new Chapter one so much more. Your post was eye opening...thank you
 

HeavyAirship

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*sigh*



crap (spirals into self doubt and worry about his first chapter)
 

Orianna2000

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With my first novel, I rearranged the opening sequence so many times, I no longer remember how it originally began. After some advice from beta-readers, I decided to open with a scene from the middle of the novel, with the idea of letting readers know immediately that the story takes a different turn than they might expect. It then jumps back five weeks, so you can find out how things got so messed up. I'm still not 100% pleased with the beginning of the story, but it was my very first novel and I've rewritten it so many times, I'm starting to hate it.
 
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