Beginning a novel with a dramatic action scene

Herstory · Jul 28, 2014

I'm not used to writing dramatic action scenes and am hoping for advice from those of you who are. My novel opens with a very dramatic moment that appears to result in death for the MC (she jumps off a cliff). Because the scene begins with the jump (which will result in unconsciousness but not death), I'm not sure where to go from there. Obviously if I follow the plot in a linear fashion, the MC will fall, be unconscious and it will be over too soon (maybe a 2-paragraph scene). At the same time, I don't want to burden the reader with backstory in the first scene.

The only things I can think of to follow the jump off the cliff are to have the MC's life flash before her eyes (just a sneaky way of getting backstory in) or narrate the recent events that led up to the jump (how she got on the mountain, what she's doing there, etc.). The POV is 3rd person limited.

I'm not happy with these options but can't think of others. Any advice would be appreciated, including recommendations of books that begin in a similar way.

mirandashell · Jul 28, 2014

Do you tell the reader that she survives the fall in the opening?

Jamesaritchie · Jul 28, 2014

Who is the POV character?

Kathl33n · Jul 28, 2014

Also, you could start your chapter off with the POV character's thoughts, while standing next to the edge of the cliff. Why she's there, what prompted this scene, and that could get a little bit of back story in (not all, but enough).

Perhaps bits and pieces could fall before his/her eyes as he/she is falling. In her state of unconsciousness, more flashes almost as if in the form of a dream.

I've been unconscious once as a kid when I was climbing up to the top of a swing set and fell, and it was a bit like that. It was a very large school swing set, and yes, it happened during school while the teachers were too busy talking to each other to pay attention to what we were doing.

Bufty · Jul 28, 2014

Remember- a stranger jumping off a cliff on page 1 isn't really going to grab most folk. Why should they care?

Mark W. · Jul 28, 2014

Watching a stranger jump off a cliff is a catch but not as much as most writers intend for it to be. I mean, if you were walking down the street and watch someone take a swan dive off a highrise building, you might wonder, "Why would they do they do that?" [on a high level] but you're probably not going to want to seek out the indepth reasons why they did it since you are not connected to them. So then if you follow it with the indepth reasons, you might lose some people.

It is always best to try and attach some emotional connection to the person falling beyond the reader as a bystander.

If you think about it, it would just take a few lines to make some sort of connection. You don't need to nor should you go into major backstory here. Just hint at the reason enough to make connection via thoughts or secondary POV character.

BethS · Jul 28, 2014

Herstory said:
I'm not happy with these options but can't think of others. Any advice would be appreciated, including recommendations of books that begin in a similar way.

Maybe you're not happy with the options because this isn't where the story should begin. So ask yourself why this is necessary. If there's a really good reason to write it this way, then the solution of how to structure it should become obvious. If it's just for excitement and drama, then consider another approach.

Herstory · Jul 28, 2014

Jamesrichie: the MC is the POV character and I don't know why I said 3rd person limited. I'm writing in first person (I'm not usually confused about POV!).

mirandashell: I don't plan to reveal that she survives the fall in the first scene.

Thanks for the reminder that a stranger falling off a cliff won't necessarily grab people unless they have a reason to care. I do want them to care about my MC right away, so maybe I do need a few lines before she jumps off the cliff.

quicklime · Jul 28, 2014

if it is in first person, with the jumper the narrator, how do you "hide that she lived"?

Devil Ledbetter · Jul 28, 2014

Add me to the "reader has no reason to care if she jumps of a cliff just yet" group. Further, there is a guideline that goes something like "no backstory for the first 50 pages." While YMMV on that one, do consider that backstory is best left until readers have enough reason to care about some backstory (and it's relevant in some way), neither of which would be the case in the opening scene.

I could make a long list of places I don't want to see a novel start, but I could also probably give you an example of a great book that started that way for each of them.

Velvet27 · Jul 28, 2014

Devil Ledbetter said:
Further, there is a guideline that goes something like "no backstory for the first 50 pages."

There is? I'm curious about this one, where has this guideline come from? Is it a creative writing thing?
If so, it seems to me that is a guideline that has been made to be broken. I'd say a majority of the authors I read have broken it.

On the cliff jumping thing, the only way I can think of that you could realistically incorporate it is as one of those "flash forward" type prologues, where you have the perceived ending first and then go into "two weeks earlier" or whatever going into the first chapter.

If you have a goodly amount of story to go after the jump, then perhaps the story is split into two halves, with the flash forward going into before. The before ends with the jump and then you go into the second half of the story which is the after.

Orianna2000 · Jul 28, 2014

As others have mentioned, there's issues, such as making the reader care why this unknown character is jumping off a cliff. And having to use backstory too early.

As a reader, I'm going to be upset if the main character appears to die in the first scene. It's like opening with a really exciting dream and then having the character wake up--"Ha, ha! Fooled you!"

It might also be considered a cheap trick, because if they are the main character, they can't really die. (Or at least, it's very rarely done, and then usually at the end of the story, not the beginning.) Either readers will know she isn't dead and roll their eyes at your feeble attempt to trick them, or they'll be confused at how you could possibly kill off the MC in the beginning of the story. Either way, it doesn't seem like a good idea.

Wilde_at_heart · Jul 28, 2014

I'm not fond of opening in a dramatic way for the sake of ... being dramatic.

I started one novel that had a very in media res opening with lots of action and right afterwards ... the pace ... slowed..... to ... a ... crawl. After about ten pages, still bored, I returned it to the shelf.

The best openings, I think, set up reader expectations for what is to follow. It just has to be interesting or engaging, not necessarily high-level conflict or anything sensational.

If you need the opening you do, as others have said, it's best to ground the reader first so that they care. A little back-story can be worked in, so long as it's not a big block of info-dump or inner monologue.

WriteMinded · Jul 28, 2014

Herstory said:
Jamesrichie: the MC is the POV character and I don't know why I said 3rd person limited. I'm writing in first person (I'm not usually confused about POV!).

mirandashell: I don't plan to reveal that she survives the fall in the first scene.

Thanks for the reminder that a stranger falling off a cliff won't necessarily grab people unless they have a reason to care. I do want them to care about my MC right away, so maybe I do need a few lines before she jumps off the cliff.

Either first person or 3rd person can be written from the MC's POV.

Either way, it won't be much of a surprise, and either way, nothing can happen between hitting ground and waking up.

Chapter One

I ran to the cliff. I jumped.
OR
She ran to the cliff. She jumped.

Chapter Two

I woke up.
OR
She woke up.

When a book starts that way, I can only expect backstory to follow, and lots of it. Grrrrr.

Why not call it story and give it to me up front so I can sympathize with the MC and hope she doesn't die.

Chronological is a nice word.

namid · Jul 28, 2014

With only sketchy details of what the novel is about I'd say what you're proposing is not a good idea, especially written in first person.

Maybe you can write the jumping off the cliff bit in 3rd person and a stranger finds a novel left on the cliff top written in the first person, and it becomes a book within a book.

gothicangel · Jul 28, 2014

Herstory said:
The only things I can think of to follow the jump off the cliff are to have the MC's life flash before her eyes (just a sneaky way of getting backstory in) or narrate the recent events that led up to the jump (how she got on the mountain, what she's doing there, etc.).

Don't do it. An info dump is an info dump.

Personally, my instinct is that you should start the book with the next scene, when she comes around. Drip feed relevant backstory only. In my books, I've never found the need to write huge block paragraphs about my character's past history.

Ron Juckett · Jul 29, 2014

Write it. See what you come up with and restart the story after you discover why she needed to jump.

Where you should start the novel will become clear after you dump that scene and aftermath on your hard drive.

Devil Ledbetter · Jul 29, 2014

Velvet27 said:
There is? I'm curious about this one, where has this guideline come from? Is it a creative writing thing?
If so, it seems to me that is a guideline that has been made to be broken. I'd say a majority of the authors I read have broken it.

Not for 50 pages is one guideline. You'll hear variations on what is essentially the same good advice not to provide backstory until the reader is sufficiently invested in your story/character, one way or another. ETA and then, as was mentioned up thread, dribble, don't dump.

Yes, rules can be broken. I think that's rule #1 in writing. However, rule breaking is done best when the author knows what the general rules are, and why she's breaking them.

Velvet27 said:
On the cliff jumping thing, the only way I can think of that you could realistically incorporate it is as one of those "flash forward" type prologues, where you have the perceived ending first and then go into "two weeks earlier" or whatever going into the first chapter.

A lot of action movies start this way, but when I see it in a novel I think the writer is too insecure to trust that her story is good enough to stand on its own without some gimmicky hook at the beginning. And if she doesn't trust herself, why would I trust the story to be interesting?

Orianna2000 said:
As others have mentioned, there's issues, such as making the reader care why this unknown character is jumping off a cliff. And having to use backstory too early.

As a reader, I'm going to be upset if the main character appears to die in the first scene. It's like opening with a really exciting dream and then having the character wake up--"Ha, ha! Fooled you!"

It might also be considered a cheap trick, because if they are the main character, they can't really die. (Or at least, it's very rarely done, and then usually at the end of the story, not the beginning.) Either readers will know she isn't dead and roll their eyes at your feeble attempt to trick them, or they'll be confused at how you could possibly kill off the MC in the beginning of the story. Either way, it doesn't seem like a good idea.

THIS.

Ron Juckett said:
Write it. See what you come up with and restart the story after you discover why she needed to jump.

Where you should start the novel will become clear after you dump that scene and aftermath on your hard drive.

This is excellent advice actually. If you're in first draft, forget about rules and just write the story. You'll rearrange it later.

Hillsy7 · Jul 29, 2014

Soooooooooooooo much depends on what's actually in the story. I could see this working to amazing effect if it's plotted out properly. The first line of the film Fallen is "Let me tell you about the time I nearly died", and is a classic plot twist. Make sure you use devices like a framing story properly; if you're going to hide the MC's survival until much, much later in the book, that fact has to be instrinsically linked to the point in the plot it happens.

So in short, you can do most anything as long as you do it right. I'll once again point to N.K.Jemisin's 'The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms'....the opening scene is perhaps 4 sentences long. About 3-4 lines total.....It was nominated for a Hugo, a Nebula, the Gemmel and World Fantasy Awards, and won the Locus best debut novel. It also points further into the novel where things are dark, then sets immediately about getting her there.

It can be done, but do it right....

Reziac · Jul 29, 2014

I stood swaying on the edge. Just a little jump, a mere step forward, would do it. My foot moved of its own accord, and suddenly the wind was rushing past my ears. The ground seemed so far away... then I hit it face-first, and knew no more until I woke up in a body cast.

quicklime · Jul 29, 2014

Herstory said:
The only things I can think of to follow the jump off the cliff are to have the MC's life flash before her eyes (just a sneaky way of getting backstory in) or narrate the recent events that led up to the jump (how she got on the mountain, what she's doing there, etc.). The POV is 3rd person limited.

.

It isn't all that sneaky.....

Did she die, or not? Let's start there. It may not matter here, but certainly should to you in how you frame things. The Lovely Bones and American Beauty both start with dead narrators, albeit without the cliff scene. Savages and a bunch of other books and films start with the end, then loop back, which is what you seem to want to do with your dead or not-dead character. So it can be done. But they usually go back to another point that is probably more the actual start of the story, and then work forward to that cliff incident.

as for back-story, it is probably best brought up as it matters to the character, in bits and pieces, not as an infodump. I could write "Paul was five-four, skinny as a rail, and wearing a cardigan. A cardigan. His nose was buried in a book, and he had a Starbucks cup next to him. Joe thought of everything his mother told him about black people, slurring around her Newports, and snickered." and the story is actually moving forward. Not only that, but in 17 words it alludes to the fact his mother was a ginormous racist, likely had alcohol problems, and Joe isn't a fan of her. As opposed to five pages of back-story to lay this all out in mind-numbing, eye-glazing back-story....

Devil Ledbetter · Jul 29, 2014

quicklime said:
I could write "Paul was five-four, skinny as a rail, and wearing a cardigan. A cardigan. His nose was buried in a book, and he had a Starbucks cup next to him. Joe thought of everything his mother told him about black people, slurring around her Newports, and snickered." and the story is actually moving forward. Not only that, but in 17 words it alludes to the fact his mother was a ginormous racist, likely had alcohol problems, and Joe isn't a fan of her. As opposed to five pages of back-story to lay this all out in mind-numbing, eye-glazing back-story....

Slightly OT but I love this character intro because instead of telling us Paul's hair and eye color, you actually paint a picture about his character with very little physical description (five-four, skinny) by talking about what he's doing (nose in a book), wearing (just one word, cardigan, but the reiteration gives the narration voice), drinking (Starbucks) and thinking (alkie smoking racist mother).

This is writing!

Velvet27 · Jul 29, 2014

Devil Ledbetter said:
Not for 50 pages is one guideline. You'll hear variations on what is essentially the same good advice not to provide backstory until the reader is sufficiently invested in your story/character, one way or another. ETA and then, as was mentioned up thread, dribble, don't dump.

Yes, rules can be broken. I think that's rule #1 in writing. However, rule breaking is done best when the author knows what the general rules are, and why she's breaking them.

Thanks for the link and the brain food, I'm going to have a good chew on it.

Reziac · Jul 30, 2014

Orianna2000 said:
It might also be considered a cheap trick, because if they are the main character, they can't really die. (Or at least, it's very rarely done, and then usually at the end of the story, not the beginning.)

Or they become an angel, devil, zombie, ghost, local god,... but that too has to bring us in with the character, so we feel like this was the right way to go and not, well, a cheap trick or one-joke gimmick.

sportourer1 · Aug 24, 2014

Does a novel have to start with a bang? I don't think so as long as you draw your reader into the world you have created.

Beginning a novel with a dramatic action scene

Herstory

mirandashell

Jamesaritchie

Kathl33n

Questioning Everything

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?

Mark W.

BethS

Herstory

quicklime

all out of fucks to give

Devil Ledbetter

Come on you stranger, you legend,

Velvet27

Orianna2000

Freelance Writer

Wilde_at_heart

υπείκωphobe

WriteMinded

Derailed

namid

gothicangel

Toughen up.

Ron Juckett

Devil Ledbetter

Come on you stranger, you legend,

Hillsy7

Reziac

Resident Alien

quicklime

all out of fucks to give

Devil Ledbetter

Come on you stranger, you legend,

Velvet27

Reziac

Resident Alien

sportourer1

Beginning a novel with a dramatic action scene

Questioning Everything

Where have the last ten years gone?

all out of fucks to give

Come on you stranger, you legend,

Freelance Writer

&#965;&#960;&#949;&#943;&#954;&#969;phobe

Derailed

Toughen up.

Come on you stranger, you legend,

Resident Alien

all out of fucks to give

Come on you stranger, you legend,

Resident Alien

υπείκωphobe